What's wrong with me?
 

I was always the social one. Whether drinking or not. I've been sober 2 months. When I'm out with people I get extremely bored and usually end up going home early. Went to a friend house to watch football tonight and I left after an hour. Most people were drinking but no one was drunk but I was bored out of my mind . If I had been drinking I would have stayed all night. I didn't want to drink at at all .. Not the point.. It's like I have to be entertained or I just go home and do nothing( cause that's real fun) A few times I have gone out to a bar where there is a band and I'm fine because I'm entertained but otherwise I feel bored most of the time when I'm around people. I'm fine around my AA ppl for the most part but that's just a short period of time. I've never liked being alone and now I'd rather sit and read SR than be with people. Hmmm

doesnt really read like anything is wrong with ya,pooky. i didnt do good at gatherings for quite some time. even with people in AA, id do ok if it was just a few of us conversatin, but at AA functions? quite often i would rather go home and be by myself.
took me time to learn how to add to those occasions, like the big book talks about

Why sit with a long face in places where there is drinking, sighing about the good old days. If it is a happy occasion, try to increase the pleasure of those there....

actually, it took time for me to learn everything, the main thing is learning who i was.
i still can get bored or reeeeeallly just want to leave some gatherings. just not fun or enjoyable to me, and thats ok.

and,being an introvert(part of that "who i was" i learned) i can really enjoy being by myself, which i couldnt do early on in recovery.

im thinkin youre doin some learnin about you tonight,pooky.

It's ok to have sections in your life where you prefer being alone/quiet time. We change & then change again. There's nothing wrong with being alone, unless you are feeling lonely.
We live in a culture that makes us feel that quiet is wrong, that not being busy-busy is wrong. Trust yourself & your instincts. I suspect that as soon as you accept this moment of yourself, it will shift.
I often happily spend whole weekends alone in sobriety. And sometimes I happily interact with people & really enjoy myself & then am done.
Tonight I went to a show with a friend, danced and enjoyed myself, but was ready to leave after the second band. So I left. Now I'm sitting on the porch with SR, & am happy. Just listen to yourself & honor the quiet inner voice.

For 20 years my fun came from a bottle...it took me a little time to learn how to have fun sober, but I did. I have more fun than ever now.

Hanging around others drinking to get drink is not my idea of fun - why would it be? so I made some new friends :)

D

Breaking news...breaking news...Bar clubs and parties....are NOT actually that fun!! :)

I had the occasion to go out with some 20 something year olds on a night out a little while ago...they all revelled in what a fantastic night they had had. From my sober perspective they did very very little and barely spoke to each other :)

Even the more sedate affairs I think people are often a little bored and mildly uncomfortable...but go through the social rituals of talking and having a 'good time' :)

You see, I always thought it was just me who wasn't having a good time ;)

P

After sobering up I also started to lean a little more that way.
Give me some outside time with a good cigar.
Or a nice afternoon nap on the couch.
Maybe a sober bicycle ride at the beach with best friend.
At many times I call it Serenity.
Can take some time sober to fully appreciate.
M-Bob

I don't believe there's anything wrong with you, Pooky. You're going through a process and you may need/want different things right now. I'm also at 2 months, and social gatherings exhaust me after about an hour. More than ever I value my alone time, and try not to feel guilty about chilling on my couch and reading SR.

I found the same. After a while in sobriety I realised that quite possibly I was just learning a nd getting comfortable with who I really was and what I really like. Many of the people I hung out with are quite shallow. It suited me well when I was drinking because, quite frankly, I was even more shallow than most of them. Now though I find the conversation in those old friendship groups boring. Sometimes depressing. Sometimes even offensive. And maybe they find me boring now as well. Possibly a little uncool and distant as well. Whatever.

As time has progressed I have developed a new beat for my own drum, and focus on walking to that beat. I have formed new friendships, and still occasionally see old friends, but also increasingly value having time alone now - which would have been painful and very undesirable before - and I know that I do need that reflective time.

Sometimes people will pass a comment about the change, but I know that I don't owe it to anyone to be anyone other than I am now. I will be true to myself, and I they don't like that, well, maybe they're not such great friends.

Wishing you all the best for your recovery. BB

Pooky there isn't anything wrong with you.

I think we forget who we are and what we are interested in when we are drinking. We used alcohol to cover all our feelings; good, bad and bored.
I used to do a lot of things out of habit, because I had "always done them that way" which of course included a drink. I didn't experience a lot of different things, regardless of my different surroundings, because I was pretty much always alcohol numbed.
Now that I am sober I feel like I am starting to learn for the first time what I actually like and don't like. It can be overwhelming at times.

Two months is so awesome. Be patient with yourself. :You_Rock_:You_Rock_

It'll get better. It just takes time. You spent so much time using alcohol as a crutch to believing you needed it to have fun. Before my relapse, it took me almost a year to have a good time while people were drinking. Casual drinking parties I'm good with. The only time I left was when it was an all out drink till you drop fest. I found out people that drunk were just annoying as hell and then I would leave.