We fall so we can get back up
 

Soooooo, I was nice and sober living the good life until I went to a party. Said I wasn't going to do it but the "OK! I'll have one" turned into much much more.
Changing my life. Cancelled all parties. Luckily, I have to work New Years. So that's my excuse.
I'll probably continue to be a fly on the wall. But I just want you to know I have great info. I'm not alone. We can do this. Last drink was December 11th, 2016 at 2300

Glad you are back.

You've started the ball rolling again. I relapsed last weekend after 3 months or so. At about a week since last drink. Just pack your day with stuff to stay busy. To do lists I've found are good for me. Best of luck! One day at a time!

Prayers

Love the simple honesty. You got this. XX

Thank you

Stay Close

I'm glad you made it back Dreamz :)

D

like rocky said its not about how hard you can hit but how much you can get hit and keep moving forward.

it only makes you stronger.

Picking a drink up is not an option for me.

It certainly wouldn't make me stronger,it would make me weaker.

Relapse is not a part of recovery.

What's your plan to stay sober this time, for good?

Staying away from parties. My drinking has only recently become an issue. I don't drink daily but when I do drink I'm all in. Wife and I agreed to go 6 months and see where that leads us. Then we went to a party and all the questions on how come we're not drinking, led me to say ok, I'll have one. Then she started as well. So, here I am. My head hurts. I'm tired and back on Day 1. It's my own fault. Just tired of feeling this way

Geez 48, lets not get all judgy ... he got the right sentiment and all and lets face it, most of us done fell and got back up more than once..its the getting back up that counts no??

That dont mean we wants to fall on our ass, or that it dont hurt, just that we learn where the pot holes be so we dont fall the next time -- get me??

That's a good piece of the plan. What about the plan for every day? Most of us have found that a total change in our lives, habits, thoughts, etc comes after the physical quitting and staying quit part, to stay sober permanently.

There are lots of good stories around here and plenty of us who credit AA and other programs with the key to our success.

Like I said, I'm not a daily drinker. Don't touch the stuff on the days that I work. It's my off days that get me. My wife and I are always getting invited to social gatherings. My plan for that is to politely decline. Occupying my mind is what I need. Boredom is my worst enemy. I go to the gym regularly. My diet needs work. I eat out too much. I have to get me back to me. Get the party bone out of my system. After so many years of staying home, focusing on the wife and kids, I tried to relive my college days with horrible results. I don't consider myself an alcoholic but I am definitely abusing it. Just need to realize that I don't need alcohol to have a good time

I think you are making a lot of good decisions Dreamz, but it would be remiss to point out a few things. You have posted several times that you don't consider yourself an alcoholic, but you are definitely "abusing" it. In the grand scheme of things and in your quest to remain sober, I am not sure that it really makes a difference what you call it. Especially when you start thinking about real recovery/sobriety, I think it sometimes fools us. If your addiction can make you think that you aren't "really an alcoholic", then you might not really take sobriety as seriously as you should.

An example I'll give is a phrase from your original post

"Said I wasn't going to do it but the "OK! I'll have one" turned into much much more. "

That's a textbook example of addiction. Drinking more than you plan on.

Another example is in the attached thread of yours

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post6222414

There are many red flags in that post as well - drinking all day, physical withdrawals, etc.

I'm not trying to single you out here, each and every one of us went through this stage at one point. A lot of people call it "bargaining"...we tried to find reasons why we weren't really alcoholics. Maybe we were just "problem drinkers". Or maybe we just needed to cut back or cut out weekend drinking. But at the end of the day if you have to rely on simple willpower to keep you from attending that one REALLY important party or wedding, it doesn't always work. Having a solid recovery plan and fully accepting our drinking for what it truly is was the solution for me.

If that's what I am, then that's what I am. I stayed sober after that dumb weekend not even thinking about drinking. I guess why I don't call myself one is because I don't feel the need to do it all the time. I call myself an abuser because on the days that I do drink, I drank to excess. I know I have some life changes I need to make. I'm just grateful that I caught it early before it's too late. I see the road ahead. It looks bumpy.

To clarify - what I'm saying is that what you call yourself ( alcoholic, problem drinker, addict, etc ) is somewhat irrelevant.

What IS important is accepting/acknowledging that the problem exists - and accepting that just "not drinking" in itself is not a sufficient solution. I think you've absolutely gotten past the first half of that, and now you are here learning about the second half. Fortunately there are lots and lots of folks here who have been through it and you'll find a lot of support in your quest.

Lots of us quit before we had major consequences.

Sadly, lots of others didn't.


I can go to parties and weddings and whatnot and not drink. I had to make a firm decision that I wasn't going to drink. You don't owe anyone an explanation who offers you alcohol. "No, thanks - I'll have a Ginger ale, please." That's all it takes.

There are lots of things I don't do that people ask me to do.

Parties are so much for fun without drinking. Trust me.