Long story very short. Arm in splint, fibre glass (dislocated- booze). Fell asleep with ciggie in mouth (alcohol). Alone in home. Fag fell in splint. Splint turned molten. Woke up from induced coma 4 weeks later in hospital- 4th degree 20% burns, including burnt bone. Spent 3 months in hosp. Dialysis, pain, 20 surgical procedures, 4 donor graft sites 130+ staples, family wanted nothing to do with me-wife refused to be my next of kin. Found out my dad died. That bed I was in was same one my bro died in a few years ago from alcohol- we turned him off. Dialysis, tube fed. Ended up in scary dangerous accommodation- nearly homeless. Lots of drugs, crime, my room was robbed numerous times, fear- pain- coped by drinking. Finally crawled myself to AA, GP etc. Sponsor found me. Now in a safe place with actually a positive future. The only time sep'td wife contacted me was to refuse to pay ambulance, dump my clothes at the hospital, want a lot of money for house bills (not damaged by my 'accident') and now starting a divorce. So painting helps. Do not take any pain relief. I like painting, I done it and it was good.

Oh forgot- nearly died 4 times and nearly had arm amputated.

That's unimaginable. I am so sorry. I had no idea.

So you are being assisted now? Will they do skin treatments and such to improve your pain situation? I sure hope so.

Do you see a therapist to handle the emotional aspect?

Yes, psychologist, GP, several counsellors. I n a formal recovery program. Was part of a new pilot research project for synthetic dressings- very successful. Micro surgery probably later for hand with more grafting. Have seen pain clinic- but I decided early on to grin and bear it. A constant reminder in some ways of who I am and the importance of life, me and recovery. Have PT as well- thus 'labels'. Have enough, screw that. Very hard some days, digitally talking about it really works.

That all sounds very positive. I am really glad they are taking good care of you.

How is moving around? How mobile are you?

So do you like AA?

Independent with ADL's. My right arm has about 50% muscle plus noticeable nerve loss through burns. Little finger cactus- next project for physio is retaining stupid right hand to play piano again. Can weight bear- did a ropey adventure thing to test this. Could- although very sore afterwards. Ambulant- burns to torso and arm. Painful after about 60 minutes walking because of donor sites on both legs. Sitting for long periods sore. When I am anxious- my trauma sites itch to the bone. Drives me nuts. Small price to pay for being alive.

Hello everyone... Rose, prayers for you and your husband.

PJ, thank you for sharing your story. It's inspiring to me that you're making art and moving forward with your life.

Me: I've been well! Things are a little confusing right now. My ex boyfriend has come to town to win me back. He's staying on the couch. It's nice having him here but I don't know if I trust him yet or want him back or what. But he's been helping me with small things and it feels really nice to have someone to lean on a little.

This and dating and also making friends has me thinking... I think I may have managed to traumatize myself? My final disaster of drinking was so dramatic and dangerous and sudden... even though I triggered it, I think it may have been a serious shock. I'm not the same person in many good ways, but also possibly in some bad ways. I feel very, very distant emotionally from other people. A little bit frozen, a little bit in shock maybe. It's been nice because I've been feeling so tidily self-sufficient. But when I do try to feel close to people I'm noticing it's hard in ways it wasn't before.

Sorry to disappear, reappear and ramble about me. I still read every couple of days or so, it's been quite busy. Jenny I'm enjoying all the philosophy and related talk. I'm reading a history of philosophy right now and wishing I'd taken classes in college!

To quote SoberP - do you see a therapist to cope with the emotional aspect, ft?

You're amazing, PJ! How do the painting and stitching go together, or do they? Is it sewing with a machine or handwork?

Hi, Fantail!

Rose, how is your husband?

Hi Gilmer- quite the challenge. Learning heaps about myself. The painting I am stitching onto the garment was firstly practiced on canvas. Then with advice from the artist person who comes here (recovery program) I learnt- with heaps of support from staff who sew gym costumes, craft etc- painted it onto fabric- with an acrylic fixative. Then cut out the painting- in half, and around the shapes to fit onto the garment. The garment is made up of some space age material which was so tight fitting- it took 2 staff to put it on me at first fitting. About 60 measurements were taken to ensure it was tighter than skin. It promoted circulation and radically reduced scarring.
It is worth $800 (Aust). Tried to donate it back for some one else- but 1 user only. It has a zip down the middle (torso).
The artist is also a professional tailor. So once adhering the fabric onto the garment- she taught me how to hand stitch it professionally. A zig underneath straight stitch on the surface. So far has taken 3 hours to sew about 10 inches.
There is about 7 feet of stitching to do. Am organising with staff to digitally record it next week and post it here for youse guys 2 c.
It explains my story for the last year. One half shows the yuk stuff, the other (unburnt side symbolically) is the healing part. Have finished 2 more art works showing various stages of my little story. A trilogy if you will One thing I have learnt is to accept who I am and it is time to start moving on from the last year. PJ

Thank you all, for the good thoughts. My husband has exceeded expectations, both through his surgery and now, in his post op recovery.

I am so grateful, as I know we were very close to this story having a very different ending.

He won't be home until next week and then there will be a long road of recovery ahead. I am not sure what the future will look like. He *was* a smoker (up until Monday night ;) ) and he is an active alcoholic so I have hope that he will see this as a wake up call but I am working on not having any expectations of how he wants to live his life.

I am very committed to my sobriety, I will not drink over this, nor do I want to. In fact, I feel quietly proud of myself for coping as well as I have. I will reach 2 years on New Years day (although my solo celebration is at midnight on New Years eve, there are actual fireworks across the street and I call that for me :lmao ). Here is to hope for the future, whatever it holds.

PJ, I remember reading your harrowing story. I am so thankful you are here with us. You are amazing!

Jennie, I saw your coffeepotamus somewhere back here, loved it!

To everyone here - I won't name names because there is a high possibility that I would miss someone - Thank You from the bottom of my heart. ♥♥♥ I feel like I can breathe now. Even though I don't post often, SR is my life line.

Love to you all :grouphug:

I'm so glad, Rose. :hug:

NYE is probably my favorite night of the year at SR.

That's great news Rose :)

D

Rose, I am so very happy for you. :)

That is wonderful news.

Fantail, I am glad to see your post. Do not ever think you can't pop in and post. Definitely love to hear from you anytime. And glad you have your guy there... I am sure it is nice to see a familiar face. :)

Guys, I had an absolutely rotten day. It was my first day running the new route I have been training on the past week. They had to bail me out. Two situations really destroyed the day. Too boring to talk about. Just a god awful day.

I am falling into bed without dinner.

I have a full day tomorrow as well. You wont hear from me again until tomorrow night.

SP- are you sure about not eating? HALTS. Stay safe and here. PJ

Oh, yeah. I am fine. I promise. This is that rare, dead-tired thats just miserable. Heavy as lead.

I need peace, quiet, water, and some jazz. :)

Rose, I am so glad to hear that your husband surgery went smoothly and that he is recovering well. I, too, hope that this is his wakeup call, but it's good to know that you are strong in your recovery.

Jennie, tomorrow will be better and getting lots of rest will be a good start to the day. I wish you well on the route tomorrow.

PJ, what an awful experience for you. I'm so sorry that you have gone through and continue to go through, so much. How great that you found a positive experience with the painting.

Fantail, I'm glad you have some company and I am thinking about what you said and I think I get it. Some of our experiences are horrifying and traumatic, and I think you're doing so very well.

My recent move (about 6 weeks ago) has been the best. I am finally living in a place, in a location that 'I' want to be, not where my husband's job has dictated we be. It is a joy to live here.

Anna, glad your environs doth sooth the soul.