It isn't as simple as just going out into the world and doing your thing. It's oppressive towards females. As I said, I was still bullied out of a job after doing all the reporting and meetings etc. It is still very accepted to do this and get away with it the world over.

I was watching "Wentworth". It does get depressing but it's a good show. I took a break for a cooking show with Alton Brown.

This doesn't sound like a punk, non-conformist philosophy.

My own husband exhibits sexism, toward me. He isn't aware that it's even sexism.

I was told to 'sit down, shut up, and do your job' by a boss my own age.

I have been discriminated against for being female all my life. By everyone around me. And it's 2016.

Come on, Sleepie. You don't give in. You keep going. Eye on the prize. And that prize is self-respect, freedom, autonomy, and agency.

You don't act in a way that's permissible by the bullies or by the world. You act authentically, your own way. It doesn't feel good sometimes, and there's no one to applaud you.

Weather is finally cooling down too, I think I may actually sleep at some point.

Sigh I have to force some kind of creativity for some money tomorrow. At least I can work in solitude, no dealing with people.

please tell me you dont work there anymore. If i had a boss say that to me oh man. I'd first reply with excuse me wtf do you think you are. or wtf is the matter with you from there it would escalate HOPEFULLY with me just walking off the job and nothing worse then that lol.

I dunno why i'd rather eat lima beans then allow a boss to think they can talk to me that way ever.

I did sit down that day at my desk and continued to do my job (after grabbing my keys to head for the door). I already had a plan in the works to leave, and I'd been preparing for over a year to do so. :)

I left not long after, and that was at the end of 2009. I've been self-employed (writing) ever since. I do work one day per week as a rural mail carrier but I actually kind of like this job. It's exciting, believe it or not. And quite a challenge. Keeps me on my toes. And it's a welcome change from sitting at my desk at home. Pays well, too.

Now ... how to deal with a sexist husband? :lmao That is infinitely more challenging.

I was physically and sexual abused by my father and consistently bullied growing up (my mother, meanwhile, still thinks I'm socially reserved because I'm a snob and cautious about sex because I'm a prude, but I digress)

I read a really great book written by a survivor of childhood abuse, Living Beyond Your Feelings, by Joyce Myer.
It is based on Biblical teaching, and it has really helped me to learn that a) I am loved and worthy of love, despite the ways that other hurting people have hurt me, and b) I am in full control of my emotions and can decide how I want to feel and for how long and how I respond in any emotional situation. It's been a big help to me in my first month of sobriety, because emotional stress is a big drinking trigger, I always drank to numb my feelings.
I am realizing now that when I am emotionally exhausted (like on weekends, after I work two 12 hour shifts back to back) those past traumas come up and try to drag me down to a dark place. I'm currently looking for a therapist, but I am afraid because I have had therapists in the past who heard my story and actually said "Wow. that's a lot, I don't really know what to say."