This -- above
Was what I had in mind
when I started the thread.
Mountainman Bob

Ah, the ole willing to go to any lengths for victory over alcohol.

When I read those words in the BB, and/or was asked that question, I usually answered, "NO!"

I know there are lengths to which a person needn't go to achieve sobriety/recovery......you know; those 'Tom Sawyer' sponsors and the folks who told me that since I was a female, I needed to wear dresses and skirts (a proper length, of course), and nylons; and clean and neat hair and nails, etc. I'm sorry, I was working as an electrician's technician; dresses and skirts and nylons just weren't gonna happen..........lolol

(o:

Good for you Noelle: To thy own self be true.

Well, I've read the Gospels, and even as an atheist cotton to the message of merciful justice.

But I'll say this: simply because you attach your faith and your recovery doesn't mean that those who aren't recovered, aren't sober as you are, don't understand something you believe.

I think it's more than a little patronizing on your part to think that, to be honest, but hey, if it makes your recovery work, have at it. Me, I prefer generosity of spirit, and thinking that each of us can find our own way up the mountain, using teamwork and cohesion rather than division.

dingdingdingding

I am ready to do many things that involve a great sacrifice, that push me well out of my comfort zone, come at a great price emotionally and financially and socially which require an willpower and effort beyond anything I have ever experienced.

The one thing that I will NOT do, and it is the thing that has been a sticky point when some of the more experienced members here have given me advice, is to pass up on family events, Xmas, Weddings etc during this first year or so of sobriety.

My large family live scattered across Europe. My parents are getting old. To deprive my family of being with myself and my children a few times a years on special occasions, whether it is a boozy festive event or not, is not on my list of things I am prepared to do.

It is not their fault I am an alcoholic. It is my issue. Why should other people suffer because of my issue?

On the religion front. I am not religious. Not even particularly spiritual. But that's all a touchy subject!

If I could change just one word in the AA Big Book it would be to replace "any" from "willing to go to any lengths" with another adjective such as "great" or "considerable."

That statement makes no sense.

I'm glad my wife took the route that she did. She tried Alonon and cared not for the advice offered. Actually before ones there even knew her complete story they were telling her to, "run away fast." She is also a woman of faith and didn't find much of that there.

Two happy ones on top the mountain that attend church and believe in the Gospel. Some people hate that word and I know why.

Mountainman

My thread and I suggest it be closed.

Because it is not a pretty thing when the thread bashers chime in.
MB

i was a carpenter. iffen they said i needed to stop wearing my blue jeans with holes in em, t shirts and 20 year old cowboy boots( that ive wore while welding, puttin up fence, pullin an engine from a car, and even to funerals) to meetings and start wearing dress pants, button up shirts, and dress shoes......i think i woulda said,"if ya want me to wear em, go buy em for me, but their just gonna sit on the floor of my closet."
:lmao

True tomsteve, if when I found my way into the doors of AA they would have told me that I needed to or had to do any particular thing I would have hit the road out and fast.

All they truly wanted to do was to suggest that I if alcoholic put the plug in the jug. Even the Big Book states that, their way is not the only way that one's get sober and stay sober. I think that this site proves that point.

Mountainman

A quote from Ben Carson made today.

"Our strength is in our unity."

When it comes to helping others perhaps we should remember this.

Mountainman

Because you stripped it of the final clause, "don't understand something you believe."

In other words, just because someone doesn't agree with you doesn't mean they don't understand, it just means they don't agree.

By the way, I'm not bashing the thread or your point. Whatever gets you through the night, it's alright. I'm just pointing out that uncharitable assumptions about people who don't agree with you aren't the ideal tools for reaching out.

I draw the line at church and I've been sober 24 years thanks to the fellowship of AA.

Huh
 

I get bored with familiarity.
I welcome different opinions.
I am never sure what I am capable of committing to, or drawing a line at,
until it appears right now.
YOU?

I can/can't believe the depraved things; thoughts and feelings, actions, I have been capable of! I'd like to think I can abandon fear and do what I need to do to make a contribution...somewhere.

Like this thread, I love your willingness to banter...it actually brings you closer because your brave enough to share how you feel, right now.

In the end I just want to be understood. If I don't understand you I am going to accept you. And love you anyway.

These bodies are made to communicate.

Let me communicate openmindedness ALSO sincerity today.

You be you, while I be me.

This is how I find my way.

HOW DO YOU balance finding yours?

:grouphug:

3 years ago when I first went to AA, no way. I really just wanted to learn how to moderate my drinking and I refused to believe I could never drink again.

This time, yes.
I shut up and listened. My sponsor had me do all sorts of things that seemed crazy to me but I did them and I still do them and you know what, I am still sober. Crazy, huh?

I sobered up in AA, and as others pointed out, the question wasn't if I would do "anything" to get sober, the question was I "willing" to go to "any lengths" to get sober. Big difference there.

Had there been any religious requirements, I would of never given it a chance. I was "willing" to believe there was something greater than me out there that could help me. That was what got me on the road to recovery.

Not agreeing with someone's perspective hardly constitute thread bashing.

Did you really think that writing a post which makes it sounds like going to church and dropping your alcoholic partner would not get any dissenting responses on a forum where many people are not Christians and where quite a few members are also double winners?

My godfather has been sober over 3 decades and has never set foot in AA or used other recovery programs or methods. He is very religious and active in his church. That it worked for him is awesome but it does not mean that in order to achieve long term sobriety all someone needs to do is be very religious and not set foot in AA or log on to SR does it?

One thing I love about SR is the variety of opinions and the discussions. This is definitely not a clap and nod approvingly at everything kind of forum. There are recovery forums like that out there and I personally find them boring.

I think there is unity here despite our difference; all of us with a little bit of time under our belt do our best to help out the new person. I know that was your intent when you originally posted.
This is your truth and your experience, strength and hope which might really help someone similar to you.
The fact that it is your truth does not make it universal anymore than the fact that some of us disagree makes us haters or bashers.

Anyway this is my last post on this thread. Just know that just because I disagree with you on some points does not mean that I don't respect you or appreciate you reaching out to the still suffering.

Willing to go to any lengths.......of course, use of Mr. Wilson fine literary mind set = hyperbole. But, yea I was ready certainly and took action outside my character to get sober no doubt.

I laughed reading this MB - not because it isn't true, but made me chuckle thinking of all the immoral things I did when drunk. In sobriety, especially as a newcomer - I do have my standards...... Ha!!

I will be 10 years ''recovered from a hopeless state of mind and body '' tomorrow thanks to the 12 steps of alcoholics anonymous , I have a very deep faith and belief in '' A Spiritual God '' which is totally different , I am a ''free thinker '' also that' s who ''I Am '' that is personal preference , My God is with me 24/7 he is my best friend and that is how ''I talk to him '' God is spirit and his spirit lives in me , regards Bob take care .



Is my way the only way ? certainly not . it is none of my business .

regards Stevie recovered 12 03 2006 .
If a man hears a different drummer ? let him march to the drum he hears .