It wasn't for me.

I used both things to escape reality, avoid problems and 'feel good'.

My use of both escalated. I avoided real life responsibilities and opportunities to smoke, just as I did to drink.

I was using external things to try a fill an internal void that could not be filled with 'stuff'.

For me, both pot and booze were the same leaky boat on a sea of crud.

D

Regardless if you can use pot without issue, it sounds your continued use is a major problem for your wife. Is smoking an occasional bowl worth your marriage? Only you know the answer to that. Anyway, it is probably a good thing to put it down for a while and just try to get comfortable in your own skin. Wishing you the best.

Getting loaded is getting loaded. The first dictionary I picked up defined sober as "not intoxicated or drunk". 32 years ago, when my sponsor started going to AA one of the old timers then told him that AA stood for "absolute abstinence".

I once conducted an experiment on this, at the suggestion of well meaning friends. I found the distance between a puff of weed and a drink for me is about 5 seconds. I was about 90 days dry at the time, and that was the start of a 12 month bender that nearly killed me.

Seems it was about using chemicals to change the way I felt. (mind altering). Booze is my drug of no choice. I was staying sober on fear, the dope removed the fear, I thought I could drink safely. Bad error of impaired judgement.

Today I have a spiritually based recovery in which fear plays no part. To take mind altering chemicals would block my spiritual connection, like shutting down my guidance system. I would revert to "local" control which is where all my problems are located and, if past experience is anything to go by, a drink will start to look pretty good.

Someone else said you can't be sober without being clean. This seems to be true for me. Even cigarettes which I always thought of as pretty harmless in this context, were having an insidious effect on my sobriety. I only found this out when I quit smoking.

Interesting thread, interesting question.

Marijuana is not one of my drugs of choice. I think that if I wanted to, I could use a drug (like marijuana, cocaine) that was NOT my DOC and not have a problem, or not develop one immediately.

But why would I? To use a drug just to use it, hey it's something I do? (Why the heck *do* all those non-alcoholics "enjoy a glass of wine"?) Or use it as a substitute for a DOC, which would be really, really frustrating, and I'd probably rebound against it.

I have an addict's mentality. I can't imagine getting a little buzzed. That's like teasing -- it's only fun if I know there's a payoff in sight. ;)

Sorry I can't be more helpful here. But it's good food for thought! :)