next level
 

well now I am off all alkie and benzos
i went and got a part time job
rough hours
and hoping i don't fall off the wagon
i have bad kindling and will surely die if i drink
which is an awful thing to have to say
thanks guys

You've put forth an incredible effort to get sober and get off the Rx. I am pulling for you!

Rather than looking at what might happen IF you drank, I see a lot of positives and a lot of progress since you quit....and the potential to accomplish much more. Don't hope you stay sober, make sure you do. Use SR and whatever you can, and please look at what you HAVE accomplished...which is a lot. You should be proud of it.

I honestly don't feel nervous that you will fall off the wagon, Sleeps. I think you've been through the worst of it so I'm sure you will handle this just fine. I suspect you are much stronger than you think. Keep checking in with us. We're all rootin' for ya!!!

I'm glad you found a job, Sleepie. Alcohol or drugs might seem like an escape, but in the long term (usually a matter of hours later) you know they just make things miserable.

I knew you would be able to drop all that stuff!

Good job. Everything is going to get better, I'm sure of it.

I am going to need support especially in the beginning, there are a few things already stressing me out, dealing with the public and really really early hours, I am not a morning person.

Hey congrats on the new job, Sleepie. Might not be exactly what you wanted, but it's something you can build on. I agree with Shabby; I'm not worried about you relapsing. You're stronger than you give yourself credit for--but don't worry cause you have us to remind you that you are. You're welcome. :c031:

D.

Oh, btw, really early hours suck big time. I have to agree with that!

Sleeps,

I hate mornings too, but have decided to start going into work really early so I can get home early to help my daughter with her school work -- which is the only benefit of early hours -- you get to go home sooner....

Lets support each other in our goal of getting off bed island early.

If the job ends up to be too much of a stressed you will deal with it -- my mother used to say that she stopped worrying when she realised that she never worried about the right things, so why bother.

May the force be with you my friend.

You got this, sleepie!

By definition, work sux. It's why they pay you to come back everyday. If it's fun, they charge admission.

Use this as inspiration for cartoons!

unfortunately it doesn't work that way.
day job kills any creativity.
that's just the way it works. it's very inhibiting
another night of no sleep
so tired of this
of all of it

Congrats on the day job sleepie - I hope that after a little while you'll settle into it.
A lot of artists I know do the day job thing as a necessity..

Talent can't be kept down indefinitely :)

D

Congratulations Sleepie xx

I've got you on my phone. I'll check on you during the day. Post when you can. I start early these days.

Thanks trach

I don't start til next week
it will be enough just to do work and not drink
everything else will have to be on hold
nice life

I spend a pretty large amount of time working and not drinking.

You are right--it is a great deal of effort to get established in
a sober working routine, but it's much easier without a hangover.
(I also have to get up very early--before dawn around 5ish to
get everything done I need to and make it on time)

My suggestion is you start to get up earlier this week
to begin to get used to the early hours so it isn't all brand new next week.

I also suggest you prep all of your clothes, keys, sack lunch the night before
so you can roll out of bed and just get there without thinking.
That really helps me when I'm groggy and trying to get out the door.

A routine like work I have found actually helpful to sobriety,
stress and all.
Just sitting around stewing / thinking was a trigger for drinking for me.

take it a step at a time. I try to be ginger with myself when adding something new into my routine. I'm gentle about it and not afraid to back the heck back up if i have too. At the same time I know for me sometimes I gotta just get over myself and push forward afterwich I feel better having done so. BUT knowing the difference between when I should just push forward and when I should back off and be ginger with myself can be kinda challenging so I try to keep my finger on the pulse of how I feel.

Its hard I cant bite off more then I can chew I've made that mistake so many times already now but I do know that I have to move forward as well.

So yeah I guess dont be afraid to take baby steps if you have too etc.. Nothing wrong with it.

I feel your pain about morning person. I'd desperately love to be a morning person runner but I have yet to get myself to be one. Everytime I put in the effort to try I throw in the towel lucky for me thats just running and I'm able to do it at another time of the day.

All the best sleepie

I was really upset this week after the interview
i feel bad about my whole life none of it makes sense
i attribute this to bad grey matter i didn't eat for 2 days as I was upset and try to figure things out
then yesterday i suddenly got weak and profuse sweatiness rapid heart beat and shaky so i had some pear
and honey
i still have not slept
my bf was insensitive and it eats at me so much i cannot sleep he's not a bad guy just really has no clue when it comes to anything emotional and it really eats at me i had my feelings ignored my whole life now i just get so that i can't eat or sleep i get so sad

with any luck this too shall pass ya know. few days of feeling like garbage then the tides turn etc..

I know the drill tho I get anxious myself and then i dont eat enough or sleep then i start dropping weight then i worry about that then that sweathiness fast heart rate crap is that from lack of eating? cause i get that once in a while too.

hopefuly once you get into the flow of the new job and such it'll ease up.

Hope this doesnt sound like 10 cent psychology but it sounds like you might be experiencing anticipatory anxiety, especially the rapid heart beat and shakiness.
What Is Anticipatory Anxiety? - Anxiety Disorders Center - Everyday Health

Plus the not eating and sleeping make it all worse. I've had awful anticipatory anxiety too. Distraction helps me. I'm not good with relaxation activities like meditating but it works for some people.

D.

I think I was going hypo, I was told I have this prediabetes thing last year

Anxiety can cause your blood sugar to be out of whack too. I'd get a second opinion. You were also drinking and taking benzos back then too. My BP and many other vitals ( blood sugar and cholesterol ) improved dramatically after a few months sober.

True. I thought of that too. I get that when I haven't eaten. Eventually I learned to tell when it's anxiety or hypo. Not that I ve had much anxiety since I quit drinking.
You'll have to force yourself to eat at least a little bit even if you're not hungry. When I was pregnant I ate avocados and hard-boiled eggs because I wasn't hungry and they have a lot of good calories.
Should I tell you to try to relax or is that just not gonna happen? :)

D.

Are you keeping a diet Delf?
I guess I wanted to believe that since my a1c's come back as in normal range I was gonna be ok. I test and my sugars go kinda high though :( Food's my only pleasure now, I mean no real coffee/caffeine and no booze and no pills. I don't know what's gonna happen if I start dieting 'cause I am a mess as it is with all my normal go to's gone. I was meaning to start a diet that's more of a whole foods thing but I feel as if I am handling all that I can with eliminating the other stuff.

Although it did take a whole 48 hours to get to feeling bad. So I dunno I guess it would be worse if I was feeling hypo after 5 hours of no food or something.

But it was fast. I was ok then all of a sudden the dripping sweats and weakness and heartbeat. Oh well that's what I get for being too depressed to eat I guess

48 hours is a long time...miracle you didn't pass out! I get really hangry and I get the crazies when my sugar gets low. It ain't pretty. I'm not on any diet, though I'm trying really hard not to eat too much junk. Like you, food is one of my big pleasures so I didn't want to deny myself in early sobriety. I agree that it's too much to handle what with the ups and downs of early sobriety, and especially for you with benzo withrawals and now the new job. As someone else said, we have to be gentle with ourselves. I do that by eating ice cream and croissants. :) I know you have to be more careful though because of your prediabetes. Eventually I do plan on getting on a healthier diet. Maybe this spring.
What are you gonna do then? It sucks to feel so crummy.

D.

That sounds good... who doesn't love a buttery croissant?
I dunno. I guess I am gonna keep stress eating. For now. I mean every now and then I remind myself "I'm only human". I mean I can only handle so much.

Hangry is a funny term, I only heard that for the first time rather recently lol.


I have plans, as we all do... for a healthier diet. I was thinking just do the whole foods thing, no sugar, white carbs or processed stuff.

PBS had a really good show recently about nutrition and the food industry, informative and went a bit into the science of the addictive processed foods. I mean we are really fighting an uphill battle here in Candyland (any US supermarket)!

buttery croissant dohhhhh

I have pre-diabetes, too. It's important that we eat regularly so the blood stays even.....easier said than done, but we can do this! Not eating will also mess with us, so try to eat something; mostly vegetables with a little dressing so the fats in the dressing help us absorb the nutrients, some protein, good bread, brown rice (multi-grains), and if we indulge in sweets, make it a very small portion and chew slowly to savor the flavor.

You are doing well!! I've been reading....

Take care of you, sleepie, we need you!!

Sleeps,

How are you feeling today?

Have you been able to eat?

When I was extremely depressed, eating became a job from which I expected no pleasure, quite the opposite. But I was breast feeding so had to eat something, so I found a couple things that I knew had a lot of nutritional bang for the buck and forced myself to eat them. Just like medicine. Choked it down.

Your body needs fuel if not everything else is just going to get worse, but you know that.

XXX