F&@$#*g fed up
 

Tomorrow is the day.....I'm so freaking tired of my vises.I'm pinned down with them.They control my every thought and action.beer and weed just takes me to a numbing place.It needs to end.Wish me luck and prayers please.

Wishing you the best Stubbs...but why not try something different this time, man?
What kinds of things have you used to stay sober in the past?

D

Full support from my corner, Stubbs. I've battled both of those demons for years and am fed up too. I've gone without for a while now and already feel so much better about myself and my life. You can do it!

Welcome back Stubbs. What are you prepared to do this time to make it your last? Can we help?

"I'm so freaking tired of my vises."

Stubbs:

Eventually the pleasure 'numbness' will not out weigh the pain 'frustration',

And as time goes on its just worse.

It took me years to learn this , get back in the game, people need you.

I'm just so tired of this cycle.The guilt out weighs the fun.I make it to work everyday but my family time is hurting.I've trid AA in the past Dee.I was recently seeing an addiction therapist and she says I need to surrender and maybe look into rehab and get out of the job I despise.But that's not an option.I have no money to survive while I would be in rehab and would most likely loose my job.My marriage is falling apart....I cry everyday over the guilt.I just want to be happy and sober.I'm going to a doctor today to try naltrexone.I want something to take the edge of my cravings.I'm not sure what else to use to help me down this ugly freaking path.thank you all for the replys

These links could be of great help for you devising a recovery plan Stubbs

Rather than focusing on what you can't do, for whatever reason...maybe a better focus is what you are prepared to do to gain a different result this time? :dunno

https://store.samhsa.gov/shin/conten...0/SMA-3720.pdf
https://store.samhsa.gov/shin/conten...SMA12-4474.pdf

D

Ty so much Dee

Hope day 1 is going OK stubbs, don't forget someone is always here if you need some extra support. Maybe you could join the class of October thread over in Newcomers?

Knowledge is a very powerful tool to use
towards our recovery journey. Knowledge.

For myself, 25 yrs ago, I had to be literally
taken away, placed into the hands of those
capable of helping me, teaching me about
my addiction.

I was a mom of 2 little ones, married 7 yrs
and has reached a point in my life that I was
ready to call it quits. I was so tired of feeling
like a failure, a failure not to raising my kids
or being a good mom and a wife, but to me
being unable to control my drinking.

I had tried soooo many times to stop on
my own then to only be drawn back into
this powerful, cunning. baffling demons
claws. It had a hold on me that I couldn't
or wouldn't want to let go of forever.

It took staying in a controlled environment,
rehab to be taught about my addiction and
its affects on me and those around me.

I was feed some important information
about addiction, how alcohol or drugs
affects all parts of my mind, body and
soul. They broke it down so I could understand
it.

Being in a safe secure invironment where
alcohol was not available, then I was able
to concentrate on some good information
fed to me and receive tools of a recovery
program to incorporate in my everyday
life.

When I returned home to my little
family, it was my own responsibility
to carry on each day to remain sober,
to go to any lengths to remain sober,
and I did as my life depended on it.

I learned to find balance between
family and recovery. Once I was given
this gift of a recovery program to live
sober then I wanted to protect it by
all means.

Even if it meant staying away from
people, places and things associated
with it. I stuck close to many folks just
like me, sailing on the same boat, learning
to remain sober by sharing their own
ESH - experiences, strengths and hopes
of what their life was and is like before,
during and after their addiction to alcohol
or drugs.

They gave me hope each day that if they
learned how to live a sober or clean life
incorporating a program of recovery in
their everyday affairs then so could and
would I.

There are many awesome gifts in recovery
that Ive been blessed to receive over the
yrs. that even today I continue to be astonished
and grateful for that, that there is no way in he**
that I would ever want to trade them in for
one sip of poison to touch my lips or return
to the insanity of my addiction.

Today, like many in recovery, I am free,
healthy and most of all honest in all my
affairs, all to the best of my human ability.

For that I am truly grateful. :)

Never do we ever have to go thru life
alone or figure out anything by ourselves
because there are always folks available
to help us, guide us, understand us, show
how to remain sober or clean one day at
a time.

So can you. :)

Ty Scott and I will look into it...currently I'm at work but this evening will be the test

We are here in the evening too ;-) Don't be afraid to ask for help.

good job quiting stubs. I was in a simlier predicament. hate my job but couldnt just find a new one and still havent. couldnt do rehab cuase then the bills wouldnt get paid. I figured i'd either get fired from work cause i drank or fired from work cause i was trying to get sober. felt pretty screwed either way. thats when the surrender kinda came into play. that letting it all go as I was at my wits end no more fight left in me cept the one i had to wage to stay sober.

I didnt go to aa till i was sober year. I white knuckled it. while i dont advise this as the best strategy i did it my way the hard way and it worked out for me and my point is it is indeed possible tho I'd seek some form of help even if all you do is come here to rant and rave and talk it out.

I know there are many good Intensive Out Patient (IOP) programs, where you go after work. Could you look into those? You wouldn't have to lose time at work, and it would keep you focused on a daily basis and keep you busy.

I know you can find a way to quit - there will be discomfort, but you can do it. You deserve a good and happy life. :)

You've been struggling for a while with quitting. Don't throw up too many "can't do this..." and "can't to that..." barriers to your recovery. Whatever you did before wasn't working. Don't repeat what failed you before.

Thank you Sharon for sharing that,it makes a,ton of sense to me

You can do this Stubbs!! SR wants you beat this!! :grouphug:

What you say is so true.My Shame and guilt have taken the fun out of it.I have such a self hatred I believe it's making it harder to quit.

Can you explain a little on how out patient works?