today went well i guess. was a lot of work the stuff i had to take care of and to be honest i had little interest in doing it. I was basicly giving my old treadmill to someone and its a huge heavy beast but it had a cracked board so we had to replace that too. days work really moving it there ripping it apart replacing the board. and to be honest I had no interest in doing all this I was sorta volunteered to do it for my wifes friend. I'm glad to help and such but really the last thing i wanted to do. Then i got home had to cook dinner etc..

On the way home tho i pass this beer shop sign 1.95 for a 24oz beer. I'm like wow thats a great price i pretty thirsty too i could just get one and drink it on the way home ::Facepalm:: i'm like what am i thinking!!!! it'd never just be one why am i even thinking this!! and just kept driving. I mean the fact that iw as like entertaining the idea of drinking it while driving too like its no big thing ::Facepalm::

its just crazy thinking sometimes!.

Same here I am really wanting a certain something.
Sigh oh well.

It's pure habit zjw; you feel a little stressed, that's where your mind goes. Suggestion: if you would have bought beer and sat at home drinking it (certain spot, certain chair?) do the same with a soda, juice or cup of tea when you get home. Relaxation doesn't always have to do with alcohol itself, but the rituals surrounding it.

PS: Don't want to be harsh but you seem a little negative about this. It's your decision and you've made it for important reasons. Forget the resentment and own it.

Get used to that, I have people screaming all day long and they are grown adults, so that won't change much! Our disease is out to get us and when you hear those little thoughts you've got to take action to fight against them or they will get you!

no i've been negative lately. I got some problems that have been on going. I"ve done well at keepign my spirits up over them for a while but lately its draggen me down. I was up for a few hours worried about them obsessing and racing thoughts. i was exhausted and then lost more sleep cause i couldnt shut off my mind.

Its annoying too there really not that terrible of problems in the whole scheme of things. i mean to me they are but many would beg to trade problems with me is my point. But they've had a way of making me depressed and draggen me through the mud.

Its reminding me how important it is to remain diligent and such and not allowing it to drag you down.

Just been a struggle lately is all.

You're on the path. You'll get there. Work though it, and it does get easier and easier in my experience, until things are clear and happy. Best, Sean

theres a great thing about the children:
you are the adult and now that youre sober you can be responsible for teaching them proper behavior and disciplining when necessary.

living in my house is like having 10 people screaming 5 inches from your face 24/7 so it can be a bit trying at times.

Been in a funk of depression for a few days now I know thats not helping matters. I hope to snap out of this.

I don't have any specific advice other than those kids are going to grow up so fast and these moments will be so distant. That song, "You're going to miss this." It's so true.

This too shall pass my friend.

Yeah I think about that a lot. its kind of sad everything just comes and goes tho I guess.

My oldest went to college this year and while I find regret to be a useless emotion, I wish I hadn't been drunk for parts of when he was growing up.

You're doing the right thing even if there are periods where life isn't always so easy.

I haven't had that specific thought (yet), but I have had plenty of temptations, and a few no mental defense moments (which are certainly attention-getters).

It's funny how we prepare for the big things, but the seemingly smaller annoyances cumulate around us and then attack.

Glad you are here.