Waiting for help
 

I haven't visited this site for a long time, but things got bad, real bad in the last year. I don't see how they can get worse than they are, well unless I die, which I don't want to do.

I told my partner and daughter how bad things are last night, I feel guilty as I didnt/don't want to upset them, but I need help, as I can't seem to help myself. So I also feel a bit of relief at telling them the truth even though they are probably mortified now at how bad I am.

I am writing here because they are still asleep so thought I might as well keep being truthful until they wake up.

Please don't give me a hard time, I live in the UK and rehab/detox is not as accessible here, well unless I keep drinking for another few months till they can fit me in, my sister went to rehab, it was two months before they found her a place, I'll be dead I think if I wait that long. The last time I went to the doctors, he said to taper, I know that's not the done thing on this site, but that's what they suggest where I live. So I've been trying, I can't do it on my own, hence me telling my partner and daughter last night, so they can help today :-/

I don't know what will happen once they are awake, kinda scared but also feel a bit of relief at being honest and asking them to help.

I pretty much drink 24/7, I even take a glass to bed as I wake in the night shaking, it got/is that bad.

So I'm just kinda waiting now to see what happens today, I assume they will either wake up and think I was exaggerating, I've been pretty good at hiding it, or they will help me... I don't know.

Hi again Room - I'm sure noones going to give you a hard time :)

I'm sorry for the struggle you're obviously having. Here are some UK links for help that you might want to investigate.

UK SMART Recovery

Alcoholics Anonymous (Great Britain) Ltd - Home

LifeRing UK - LifeRing

Addaction | Drugs & Alcohol Addiction and Recovery: Support - Help - Advice - Treatment

Help and advice - Alcohol Concern

and some NHS links
Find Support services for alcohol addiction services - NHS Choices


The National Alcohol Helpline-UK - Tel: 0800 917 8282
Offers help to callers worried about their own drinking; support to the family and friends of people who are drinking; advice to callers on where to go for help.

UK National AA Helpline
08457 697 555

Drinkline runs a free, confidential helpline for people who are concerned about their drinking, or someone else's.

Helpline: 0300 123 1110

Other members from the UK may have more suggestions too :)

It may be hard but it's far from impossible to beat this Room - you just need to be 'all in' - don't hold back :)

D

double post.

Hi, Room1.
I know how you feel.
My family couldn't help me.
They didn't know how.

I live in the UK.
I didn't go to a treatment centre.
I chose to go to AA for help.
Best decision I've made so far.
I have many friends who have been to treatment centres to start their sobriety.
Most of them got in fairly quickly, but they were the ones who could pay or had BUPA to pay for them.
If you must rely on the NHS for treatment, you may have to wait.
But, isn't it better to start on whatever list that you need to be on now?
Yes, you may have to wait a couple of months.
But you will wait longer if you delay the process.
I'm not having a go at you.
Perhaps I'm just stating the obvious.
And you don't know until you try.
Your sister may have been unlucky.

Some of the hospitals around here will take you in for a detox if you haven't done that before.
I don't know if there are any that will do that in your area.

I do know that if you continue to be honest, even with yourself, you have a better chance of surviving this illness.
Your family may not know how to help.
So, contact any or all of the orgs that Dee put up there for you.

It's your life.
It will be your recovery.
Or not.

Feel free to contact me by Private Message if you would like to hear more of my perspective on sobriety, family, whatever.

All the best.

Hi! Welcome back. I am sorry to hear you are struggling so much. I hate that whole taper thing. It still doesn't guarantee you won't have withdrawal. Do you know how much you drinking everyday? Could you have someone administer the drinks to you? Could you just show up at a hospital and get admitted for a medical detox at least.

If nothing else please find some kind of meetings. Being around others who know can be a real help. Have you posted in the Newcomers forum? You might find others who are tapering as well.

Thanks for talking to me, I'm on my mobile and the sites all changed since I was last here and I can't see any "thanks" button to let you know I've read your replys. I'm still waiting for people to wake up to discuss what will happen next x

I hope that you decide to do something room, irrespective of what the other people in your house think - you have the power to change things for yourself :)

D

I will help myself Dee, but it's hard when I have so many dependants. Like right now I'm looking after my two youngest, as my partner still in bed, yes it's midday here, so not much I can do right this minute :-/ I don't mean to sound angry, just not sure what I'm soposed to do, so I'm just typing here, trying to be honest till he wakes up and we can make a plan? I dunno.....

Hi Room and welcome back.

In reading your post I’m concerned about your condition because it may be dangerous to stop drinking without medical assistance so I’d seek help in the direction of detox perhaps.

When I finally realized I have a problem called alcoholism I didn’t like it at all but had to accept it.
That period was before the internet and the only show besides rehabs was AA which just about all rehabs were/are based on.

In my desire for recovery I needed to want it and be honest with myself about my drinking then accept the fact I cannot drink in safety one day at a time in a row.
Sobreity for success requires steady work and changes within our self to maintain continuous recovery. It’s NOT just stopping drinking then in a week/year we are joyous and free and can go back to our old ways.
Over the years I’ve seen too many good people go from being healthy to dead in a short time after relapsing, it’s not pretty.

BE WELL

I needed to realize that my recovery has to be #1 in the pecking order bar nothing else or in most cases everything else is lost.
In this country and I suppose yours if child protection agencies get a inkling that alcohol and or drugs are a problem in the household it’s usually goodbye children and real problems begin.
Just the facts Mam.

BE WELL

your town or city will have Alcohol Treatment services. if you sign up for a reduction class, they can arrange a funded rehab for you. it will take time but if you can't afford private (and it is hideously expensive here) it's the best way.

in the meantime, try AA. i'm the least religious person you could come across, but AA saved my life. I got a sponsor and worked the steps - if you strip some of the archaic language out of it, AA is free group therapy.

be well.

oh, and also - rehab may not get you sober. don't pin all your hopes on it - start to put the work in now so you are as prepared as you can be.

sadly, with alcoholism the only one that can save us is ourselves.

Why not contact some of the links that Dee gave you.
If nothing else, it will give you some options to discuss with your partner.
When I quit drinking I wanted to go to AA the next day, but I had to wait another day because my partner was at a conference.
I had to stay home and look after a couple of small children.

Well done for posting here and asking for help.

Please look into the options available to you; including treatment.

Whether you know it or not, at this point in time, you do have choices.

Hi Room,

Because I'm half deaf (so don't like the phone) I contacted the AA Helpline by e-mail. They got back quickly with some good advice. Alternatively if you phone they will get someone from your local AA to call you back. You can often arrange to meet them at a cafe or other public place for an informal chat.

I know it's tempting to let your partner make decisions, but unless he has experience of addictions I'm not entirely sure why you think they would be the best person. You need to get well. This IS life or death. Please seek the help that you need.

Just to highlight the need for YOU asking for the help you need, and not relying on people who may love you dearly but are not qualified to help you, perhaps have a read through of this thread.... http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-get-help.html

I still drank after my second rehab. My family and ex-girlfriend all thought the longer I stayed there, the more "cured" I would be. I probably could have stayed in my last rehab a year and I probably still would have drank because I wasn't ready to stop. It's so true. The only thing that can make you not drink is yourself. Not meds, not rehab. Rehab is a respite, not a cure.

How are you going room?

D

Thanks again for the msgs, I'm ok ish Dee, I managed to half my usual consumption yesterday, feeling a bit shakey right now though :-/

did you have any discussions?

D

I am so ready to quit for good, if I thought it was safe to just never drink again I would, but the amount I have been drinking I just don't think it's safe to do so. So I'm working on that first, then will make more long term plans.