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Old 11-27-2014, 06:21 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Why is it hard to get help


A week ago today I was looking at suicide help forums, not because I wanted to do it particularly, just wanted to understand my own thoughts, my partner looked at my phone and basically went off on one, I'm still confussed about that, Oh dont even know why I'm writing here, nothing anyone can do. Last week I asked my dad to take me to hospital, this was the morning after, he said I'd be ok. I'm not ok :-( why does no one in my RL want to help?

I know I need to help myself but it's kind of hard. Especially when you ask and get nothing. Where do I go from here :-(

I told the truth and then no help, he helped for one day J :-(
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Old 11-27-2014, 06:28 PM   #2 (permalink)
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A lot of people in my life found it easier to pretend there was no problem.

Often times *I* found it was easier to pretend to them there was no problem too and I'd downplay my situation or back out saying things were better now....

I waited years for someone to rescue me Room, and no one did. I had to do it myself.

Can you get yourself to the Dr or hospital or wherever it is you need to be?

D
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Old 11-27-2014, 06:33 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I'm with Dee. The people closest to us don't want to believe anything is wrong.

Fortunately, it is actually quite EASY to get help. You just have to ask the right people. Calling the suicide hotline or crisis hotline will get you the help you need if you find yourself in a crisis.

But even better than waiting for the next crisis to happen is to start getting help now. Make an appointment with your doctor, be honest about what's going on and get some referrals for mental health treatment. Depression, anxiety, or whatever is troubling you can be managed and treated.
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Old 11-27-2014, 06:33 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I've run out of ideas Dee, I dunno what to do anymore, being completely truthful didn't work, so what's left, what I googled?
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Old 11-27-2014, 06:34 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Sorry, I'm not sure what it is you want to 'work' room?

D
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Old 11-27-2014, 06:37 PM   #6 (permalink)
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I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. Just as Dee wrote-sometimes the people in our lives can't comprehend the fact that we could be feeling this way so you need to find someone who can listen and help. If you are having these thoughts, they can dissipate or they can progress so getting treatment is very important. Is there a hotline in your country you can call? Could you make an appointment with your doctor to get a referral for treatment? If you feel desperate please hang on- many of us have felt suicidal, anxious and depressed and have been able to get through it with help. You don't have to do this alone. We are here for you!
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Old 11-27-2014, 06:39 PM   #7 (permalink)
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It's ok, probably shouldn't have posted anything here, just feeling alone.
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Old 11-27-2014, 06:43 PM   #8 (permalink)
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No, you're fine

I guess you meant that being truthful didn't help with your bf or your dad? but like I said they may not want to believe that's true.

If you went to the hospital, or called a crisis line, and were truthful I'm sure you'd get help there.

D
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Old 11-27-2014, 06:49 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Room1, please don't give up looking for help. Make an appointment with a shrink or someone like that. If you are having suicidal thoughts, probably be a good idea to do so. Also plenty of people here happy to listen to you, rootin for ya.
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Old 11-27-2014, 06:54 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Hi Room im glad you posted

Room you dont need permission to seek help yourself granted it must be hard no one in your family listening

but were listening Room were all here for you lean on us for support & advice ... speak your mind Room
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Old 11-27-2014, 07:10 PM   #11 (permalink)
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i feel for you, and i can relate.

the bad news is that there is a decent chance you will have to be your own advocate. as others have said, for a variety of reasons, the people in our lives are sometimes unable or unwilling to come through in the way we want them to.

the good news is that it is your birthright to feel well, and the power to do so is inside you. i really believe this. it can be difficult to locate that power sometimes, but it is there. lean on the resources that are available to you: crisis hotline, hospitalization, SR, AA. i have gotten a lot of relief from books available at the library.

i hope you can believe, and agree, that there is a solution. don't give up!!
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Old 11-27-2014, 07:53 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Typically people who are viewing suicide help forums need support, and it's often very difficult for that individual to ask for it. It must be quite discourageing to ask and not have people respond as you would like. Often family members don't have the training to understand how serious a problem is for a family member.

Keep seeking the help and I'm sure you will find it. You might want to discuss this with your physician. Be as honest as you can be. It would be a place to start.

All the best to you.
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Old 11-27-2014, 07:56 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Sometimes, we have to find the strength to help ourselves. Sometimes there is no one else who can really understand or help.

You have found SR and this is a great place for support. I hope that you continue to do whatever you need to do to help yourself.
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Old 11-27-2014, 08:09 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Room1 View Post
A week ago today I was looking at suicide help forums, not because I wanted to do it particularly...(
We tend to intellectualize/objectify our suicidal impulses early on and even later on in the process because they're simply too horrifying to consider in terms of acting on them.

Acting out on suicidal thoughts is the result of narrow and sometimes delusional thinking and seemingly unmanageable feelings or mood states.

You need to talk to someone who can help you with this ASAP. You can start by doing something that is not hard at all: pick up the phone.
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Old 11-28-2014, 12:31 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Thank you, I just woke up, I will try and write again later
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Old 11-28-2014, 12:47 AM   #16 (permalink)
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http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ease-read.html

Room 1 how are you feeling now?

You can go to the ER and they will help you if you still feel suicidal.
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Old 11-28-2014, 01:39 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Hi Room, welcome to SR.

First 'normies' don't understand what we are going through. Here's a link to try and don't forget your GP. http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/suicide/pages/getting-help.aspx
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Old 11-28-2014, 02:51 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Room, often the people that are with us daily in our 'real lives' think they are helping when they say you're fine, everything will be alright. They may say it reassure, they may simply not understand addiction. In other sad cases they may have a drinking problem as bad as ours and not want to admit it. Many years ago one of my closest friends "dropped out" and went to treatment. I was pretty shocked since he didn't seem like an alcoholic to me; after all, we drank together all the time! How could he have a problem if I didn't? Obviously in retrospect I was at least as bad as he was, he was just quicker to realize it than I was.

Don't get discouraged, and don't be too hard on your family. They probably just genuinely don't know any better. But you do. There are resources out there. Things can get better.
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Old 11-28-2014, 03:53 AM   #19 (permalink)
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Room, the thing that helped me most was realising that my decisions determined what would happen to me next. I could choose to drink or not, I could choose to seek help or not. Nobody else can act for us and we are stronger in recovery when we choose our actions and the options.
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Old 11-28-2014, 03:57 PM   #20 (permalink)
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I've nothing to add/say, another day gone, fixed one problem, then get another two, just posting to say thanks, I do appreciate the replies/advice.

It's late here and I'm in bed, I'll try to check in again tomorrow.
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