They Think They Know
 

Don't you just hate it when friends, family members, or even people you don't even know think they understand alcoholism entirely!? In the past week, I heard a friend say, "I think it's 100% the person's choice to keep drinking [after the first sip]... The person has control." And then someone else I know (and trust very much normally) said he thinks that EVERYONE has a form of alcoholism. That irked me, because I felt like it belittled my situation/illness. Has anyone made you upset recently like this? I get that I should ignore them, but sometimes their words make me second guess myself and my choices now that I am sober...

No, they don't understand. Or they're in denial.

Your addiction is Your's. No one else can have that. My sister asked a couple of weeks ago if I had drank. Nope. "Not even one beer?" I thought she would hurt herself laughing when I answered: "One never even registers". She knows my former volume.

I hear that on almost a daily basis. Not just from family or acquaintances - but sometimes from my favorite sitcoms!!
:gaah

Only an alcoholic - or someone familiar with alcoholism will understand.. imo..

A lot of alcoholics don't understand therir own alcoholism. I see it every day on Sober Recovery.

I wasn't sure if this was covertly directed towards me... But I do admit to it if so! There are many things about it I myself am still trying to understand.

Me too. I can handle not understanding it. I just have to remember to accept my alcoholism and not doubt my course of recovery from it.

I feel like I didn't have a choice after that sip last night. No intention of binging, then it happened. Truly amazing disease. My 100% choice was clouded. But back on the wagon today, day one. Made it two years this time, realized I can never control it after one. Now I know, keep on trucking at it, keep strong. Listen to yourself not others! Good luck to you!

I don't think it is really possible for non-alcoholics to understand what it feels like. Heck, most doctors don't really understand it so how can we expect the lay-person to?

My go-to thought when these things come up is to try and find gratitude that they don't know what it is like. If they truly understood it would mean they are an alcoholic too.

Most alcoholics don't recognize the facts.

Opinions are like a-holes, everyone has one. Your substance abuse problem is your problem. It's up to you to recognize it for what it is to you. Others can't describe how your addiction effects you. No one, or no program has ever been able to accurately put a finger on why people compulsively intoxicate themselves. If they had there would be no reason for this forum.
Let them have their opinions, just take care of yourself.

Not being able to understand it is an issue for me. I've always been kind of a problem solver, and this is a problem I have not been able to solve. So it is frustrating.

Lying, fear ridden, self absorbed, self centered, manipulative, ego maniacs with inferiority problems. A scared rabbit dressed in a wolf suit. Self indulgent bombastic blowhard.

That was on a good day........
Alcohol was never my problem - it was my solution.

98 % of people when they get a flat tire call AAA. As an alcoholic I call the suicide prevention hotline. Everything is an extreme....

I honestly think the only people that truly understand are the folks that are on this site.:grouphug:

Haha, you know... I would go as far as to say that I'm addicted to being on HERE! You guys are all great. I love the interwebs.

Nowhere else can you get a perspective on alcoholism from every time zone in the world.:lmao
There's always somebody awake to talk to.

I think everyone has there own perspective and belief system that shapes how they deal with drinking. My own perspective is very much in line with your friends that you mention in your original post. I fully believe that we have 100% choice in all that we do and I also believe that pretty much everyone has a drinking trajectory that may or may not become a problem for them. But that's just me. It works for me and it doesn't bother me that there are folks that don't share my point of view.

My wife is very knowledgeable and supportive and has listened to addiction philosophy for 6 years but is completely clueless.

How can we expect sane people to understand insane behavior?

I tend to see it that way up until taking the first drink. Choice is shot to hell after that. That's why I choose to not take the first dink now. Most people do not understand that. They see it from their own perspective which is drinking moderately . I've never seen the point of moderate drinking.

Me either...all in or all out! Lol

My thoughts exactly!