They Think They Know
They Think They Know
Don't you just hate it when friends, family members, or even people you don't even know think they understand alcoholism entirely!? In the past week, I heard a friend say, "I think it's 100% the person's choice to keep drinking [after the first sip]... The person has control." And then someone else I know (and trust very much normally) said he thinks that EVERYONE has a form of alcoholism. That irked me, because I felt like it belittled my situation/illness. Has anyone made you upset recently like this? I get that I should ignore them, but sometimes their words make me second guess myself and my choices now that I am sober...
No, they don't understand. Or they're in denial.
Your addiction is Your's. No one else can have that. My sister asked a couple of weeks ago if I had drank. Nope. "Not even one beer?" I thought she would hurt herself laughing when I answered: "One never even registers". She knows my former volume.
Your addiction is Your's. No one else can have that. My sister asked a couple of weeks ago if I had drank. Nope. "Not even one beer?" I thought she would hurt herself laughing when I answered: "One never even registers". She knows my former volume.
I hear that on almost a daily basis. Not just from family or acquaintances - but sometimes from my favorite sitcoms!!
Only an alcoholic - or someone familiar with alcoholism will understand.. imo..
Only an alcoholic - or someone familiar with alcoholism will understand.. imo..
Don't you just hate it when friends, family members, or even people you don't even know think they understand alcoholism entirely!? In the past week, I heard a friend say, "I think it's 100% the person's choice to keep drinking [after the first sip]... The person has control." And then someone else I know (and trust very much normally) said he thinks that EVERYONE has a form of alcoholism. That irked me, because I felt like it belittled my situation/illness. Has anyone made you upset recently like this? I get that I should ignore them, but sometimes their words make me second guess myself and my choices now that I am sober...
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Happiness
Posts: 19
I feel like I didn't have a choice after that sip last night. No intention of binging, then it happened. Truly amazing disease. My 100% choice was clouded. But back on the wagon today, day one. Made it two years this time, realized I can never control it after one. Now I know, keep on trucking at it, keep strong. Listen to yourself not others! Good luck to you!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 76
I don't think it is really possible for non-alcoholics to understand what it feels like. Heck, most doctors don't really understand it so how can we expect the lay-person to?
My go-to thought when these things come up is to try and find gratitude that they don't know what it is like. If they truly understood it would mean they are an alcoholic too.
My go-to thought when these things come up is to try and find gratitude that they don't know what it is like. If they truly understood it would mean they are an alcoholic too.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Earth
Posts: 607
Opinions are like a-holes, everyone has one. Your substance abuse problem is your problem. It's up to you to recognize it for what it is to you. Others can't describe how your addiction effects you. No one, or no program has ever been able to accurately put a finger on why people compulsively intoxicate themselves. If they had there would be no reason for this forum.
Let them have their opinions, just take care of yourself.
Let them have their opinions, just take care of yourself.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Not being able to understand it is an issue for me. I've always been kind of a problem solver, and this is a problem I have not been able to solve. So it is frustrating.
Lying, fear ridden, self absorbed, self centered, manipulative, ego maniacs with inferiority problems. A scared rabbit dressed in a wolf suit. Self indulgent bombastic blowhard.
That was on a good day........
Alcohol was never my problem - it was my solution.
98 % of people when they get a flat tire call AAA. As an alcoholic I call the suicide prevention hotline. Everything is an extreme....
That was on a good day........
Alcohol was never my problem - it was my solution.
98 % of people when they get a flat tire call AAA. As an alcoholic I call the suicide prevention hotline. Everything is an extreme....
I think everyone has there own perspective and belief system that shapes how they deal with drinking. My own perspective is very much in line with your friends that you mention in your original post. I fully believe that we have 100% choice in all that we do and I also believe that pretty much everyone has a drinking trajectory that may or may not become a problem for them. But that's just me. It works for me and it doesn't bother me that there are folks that don't share my point of view.
My wife is very knowledgeable and supportive and has listened to addiction philosophy for 6 years but is completely clueless.
How can we expect sane people to understand insane behavior?
How can we expect sane people to understand insane behavior?
I think everyone has there own perspective and belief system that shapes how they deal with drinking. My own perspective is very much in line with your friends that you mention in your original post. I fully believe that we have 100% choice in all that we do and I also believe that pretty much everyone has a drinking trajectory that may or may not become a problem for them. But that's just me. It works for me and it doesn't bother me that there are folks that don't share my point of view.
I tend to see it that way up until taking the first drink. Choice is shot to hell after that. That's why I choose to not take the first dink now. Most people do not understand that. They see it from their own perspective which is drinking moderately . I've never seen the point of moderate drinking.
My thoughts exactly!
I tend to see it that way up until taking the first drink. Choice is shot to hell after that. That's why I choose to not take the first dink now. Most people do not understand that. They see it from their own perspective which is drinking moderately . I've never seen the point of moderate drinking.
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