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Elaine, I am so sorry that you are going through this. Try to remember that you are not a bad person. You made a mistake. I'm glad you know that you 'must' get through this and do what you need to do. I hope that you have the support of your family.

Hi Elaine,
I have had similar bad things happen to me lately as well, and I also have a lot of the negative thoughts you are having, such as feeling defeated. I just don't know what to do anymore. I sat in bed today and just wanted to give up but did not know how. I called a rehab hotline and they wanted to send me to a rehab in Florida (I live in CA). Great idea, but most of my issues right now are financial that are causing me to drink, so going to a nice rehab in Florida will just add to the financial pressure I feel right now. I am just trying to get through this day sober. I slept in until 2 pm, then ran on the treadmill, and now I am forcing myself to go into work rather than call in. If I can just get back from work okay, then I can get through Day 1 again. But I understand, this is all so hard. I don't know what else to say. God bless.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MIRecovery (Post 5341122)

Unfortunately alcoholism is progressive. It only gets worse as you have discovered. I didn't get in trouble every time I drank but every time I got into trouble I'd been drinking.

The madness ends when we quit drinking. There is a lot of support here and remember you are not a bad person you are a good person with a bad disease

Yep....every time drinking has been the culprit. Always alcohol.

Quote:

Originally Posted by brynn (Post 5341577)

Hi Elaine!

I'm sorry you find yourself in these circumstances...it sucks!... I know cause I've been there...twice! But it does NOT negate the fact that you're a good mom and a good person! All that negative self-talk is your AV trying to convince you of a bunch of crap so you'll say what the heck and drink again. Don't give it that power!
This is your chance to make the changes you need to move forward in a positive direction. You have been given a chance to quit the drinking for good before something even worse happens. You have the power within yourself to make that choice if that's what you truly want.
I hope you'll use this experience as a building block to get back the life you want. Use it to your advantage!

Thanks so much. Just thank you

Quote:

Originally Posted by Justbreathe1980 (Post 5343143)

It's so hard. I went jib searching today to try and help us out. I am going to try waiting tables part time. Thought I had it but I don't know. I hope something can work out for me. It hurts. It hurts to know you just kicked yourself in the teeth. It hurts to know your kids need things and this crap stands in the way. Good luck to you. We have to try to hang in there. Suicide is cruel to loved ones, I couldn't hurt them that way. Although the financial burden would be lifted. I am going to my shrink and trying new anti depressants. Let's hang in there!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Justbreathe1980 (Post 5343143)

You sure it's financial issues causing you to drink?
Ever a time ya didn't have financial issues and ya still drank?
Would yo be drinking if there were no financial issues?
If you really,honestly, sincerely want to get sober, there's no need for some plush, exotic, expensive rehab. I have seen many,many people sober who went to salvation army rehabs.
There's IOP,too.