Had some drinks - My thoughts
 

So as many of you know I was 7+ years sober and recently contemplated moderation. I don't have to make this post but I am doing so as it may help some out and I like to help whenever I can. Lets keep this thread on topic though, Thanks.

I picked up a fifth of JD. I intended to have a max of 4 drinks and no more. I ended up having 3 drinks, 1.5oz each, on the rocks. I had the drinks over the course of 2ish hours at home, snacked on almonds during, and sipped water as well. I was really just doing what I'd normally be doing at home and implemented the drinks into that.

Now the interesting part(this thread has a point) I didn't really like it. I remember how I used to like alcohol, I know how when not drinking I'd think about alcohol but when put into play the drink didn't live up to it. It wasn't that it was bad but it wasn't good either, not great anyhow.

I set my limit at 4 drinks but only ended up having 3 as I just didn't care to have another, I ended up grilling a steak instead.

The alcohol also kept me awake, I didn't get good sleep, I had to try and try to sleep. My joints also felt weird, like wrists, hands etc.. not painful but just a feeling, didn't like that either.

I don't regret drinking and at some point I will probably drink again but really I just feel old and not cut out for this lol - I am only 33 fyi.

Sure I can drink again but if I drank more than the 3 drinks I think I would have a headache the next day and a host of other issues. The 3 drinks did not have any effect the next day, just the not so good sleep and weird joint feeling. In short I can go with or without the drink - it just isn't what it was, to me at least, maybe that is a good thing.

In short I know many miss the drink, think fondly of it at times etc.. I just wanted to say you really aren't missing much. Some things are best left as memories, like a old movie you loved and have it a re-watch - Yep it was that feeling for me. Now I had 7 years sober so naturally things may be different for me than say someone with 1 year sober, YMMV. I just wanted to share my experience as it may help some people out.

Also to add, part of what always bugged me about being sober was I had do be sober, I couldn't drink - I had no say in it.. Now I did it, I have booze on hand at home, I can have it anytime IF I want but I probably wont, not often at least. I like having the option even if it is just so I can decline. I can't even see myself drinking more than 3-4 drinks in one sitting either, anything more just seems crazy to me... In my 20's compared to myself now there is just no comparison... really weird but interesting at the same time.

In the end I prefer sleeping and waking up clear minded as I've grown accustomed to all these years sober. I definitely give the plus to being sober than drinking, even on a moderate basis. Not much is gained by the drink on any level in my opinion.

I appreciate you posting this. I don't know how this is going to work out for you but if my mind goes where yours is it will be a complete disaster for me and my family. If it does I will remember this thread and my attitude now. I saw you comment on a few threads and thought you had decided against it.
It's true..it's not like I remembered it when I tried to drink 3 months after quitting. Building it up to some kind of fantasy is a very bad idea. When that happens to me I deliberately force images of the misery just to balance it out. I suspect you might have done some of that. Building it up to be worth the risk.
I hope this works out for you. A lot of relapse stories have started this way...1 glass of wine on a special occasion...2 beers one night....

No problem. It may help some "on the fencers" decide not to.

I am sure I will drink again but I don't even know when and its out of my mind for now. It didn't live up to the hype I gave it and to be honest I think when I used to drink before I just did like it a whole lot more but than again I was young and party party party. Now I am totally different, I think it just doesn't appeal to me the same way. I was never big on smoking weed and right now alcohol rates about the same to me.

I was actually shocked more than anything else by me really not caring for it, mind blowing actually.

Good luck.

Hope it all works out for you.

Ken

I'd still say be careful, if I had a drink tonight I'm pretty sure I'd be able to cut things down to a few also, it's what happens tomorrow and the next day is where the spiral for me would occur, and in a few weeks my old ways would creep back in.

I'm sure the scientists amongst us would say an experiment needs to be repeated, as the first attempt isn't a good basis to write a conclusion.

As I say be careful!! :)

I have little to no doubt that if I decided to pick up a few drinks tonight it would be a similar experience. I've thought this through more than once. I'm quite certain too that I could easily grab a beer on the way home from work tonight, and drink it with no repercussions whatsoever.

What I also know however is that the experience would tell me it's ok to do it again.

And I would.

Could be a week from now. Could be a month, maybe even 6 months if I really wanted to prove something to myself.

I'm certain also that eventually I would be drunk again. I mean, what the heck? And it wouldn't be long after that before I was drunk yet again. And again... And again.

I know me, and that's me. I hope that's not you. Sincerely.

When I first got sober not having that first drink was a very clear matter of life or death for me. One of my first sponsors kept reminding me of that, and reminding me that no matter how much better I ever felt, that life or death thing would never change. Not for me, and the way I drank. I'm glad that thirty years later I still feel the same. I have no need nor desire to experiment as you did.

I wish you well. I think you're dancing on a cliff though.

I agree 100% but I don't know when I will have another drink. I didn't make the thread to let people know I drank and all was fine that one time but more so to say I drank and I didn't care for it. It might help others out to know they really aren't missing much. Right now I don't care at all about drinking again or thinking about when etc..

I have been wanting to get a Tassimo though lol. I would rather have one of those drinks than one with alcohol!

Do you think it might be considered a bit selfish to be journalling this experiment on a website called Sober Recovery ??

Where ninety nine point nine percent of the posters are doing everything they can to NOT re-commence drinking ..... seriously ??

I actually only posted this to help others. I glamorized drinking again in my mind and it did not live up to it, I did not enjoy it or like it. I only posted so others on the fence(a lot are but don't say it) don't need to pick up the drink to see for themselves. I have clearly promoted the sober end of the stick versus the drinking end.

Did you read my first post in its entirety? I think you took this the wrong way.

I will repeat, I am saying *do not drink if you are on the fence* push forward, the drink wont live up to the hype we give it. Being sober is better.

I cut down a lot before I eventually stopped for good.
I had sober nights too.
I did a month without drink.

I started again and realised too, I preferred the sober times, especially the nights.
I slept better without drink.
I functioned better during the day when I had had nothing to drink the night before.
Although I'm not old either, I felt the day dragged on when I had drunk the night before. When I had not, I didn't feel like I just needed to go home after work and lay down for the rest of the evening.

I also didn't like the feeling of being a little bit drunk or a bit tipsy.
It annoyed me, which I think proved I have a very all or nothing policy to drinking booze.
I'm either drunk to the point of no return or sober.
I'm sure those odd nights of 2 glasses of wine would have eventually turned into all out carnage.

I'm with you - I prefer my life without.
I think this also makes me feel like I am missing out less when I don't drink. I know 1 or 2 won't make me happy.
But I am glad I found that out before I stopped for good, rather than going back to experiment after being sober for so long.

I wish you the best. xx

I stick by what I said.

Posting on this site about your experiment is just BS

What if your post encourages a similar experiment & the results are not the same ?

"Oh, well mpr had a drink & got away with it ...... drink drink drink ..... hey that was good .... I know mpr stopped at 3 but I'll stop at 6 .... better go get more .... drive drive .... smash .... "

Just take it elsewhere.

You seem blind to your own inconsideration ... so consider it pointed out for you.

First off it was not an experiment. I simply shared my thoughts.

I actually encourage others to NOT bother drinking based on my thoughts.

Nobody is the same what works for one doesn't for the other. Just people who are considering drinking like I did would benefit from my post and hopefully help them decide to NOT drink.

Frankly I don't care what you think, or anyone else. I posted what I posted with the best intention in an effort to help others. If you or someone else does not see it as such well that is not my problem.

I wont reply to negative posts.

Hawks, I think you're being unduly harsh. Many people come here after they have drank. This is a place for support. I'm just as willing to support someone who had a few drinks and didn't enjoy it as I am willing to support someone who drank themselves stupid and feels awful about it the next day, week or month.

I'm sorry mpr, but I had to laugh when you said you planned on having a max of 4 drinks, but bought a fifth.

That right there tells me all I need to know!

Good luck.

Well, mpr, I'm glad everything worked out OK for you. Although I thought it was a bad idea, I was actually hoping an experience like this would happen to you where you could finally put the bottle to rest. This reminds me of the last time I drank. Although, I wasn't as controlled about it. But, when I finally drank after several months of romanticizing, which is what you were doing, I was able to say "this isn't worth it".

Good to know that you survived your experiment any got it out of your system. The last time I tried to drink I too stopped at a few and found that I just didn't like feeling intoxicated. I just don't see the point anymore. I drank to deal with depression. And that is a fool's errand. I have healthy ways to deal with it now.

Hey mpr,

Interesting experiment..... I executed the exact same experiment once - my result was such that I personally will never experiment again. I am curious what led you to undertake this? Did you want a buzz? Did you miss the taste of JD? Was it the ritual?

After 7+ years of sobriety, I'm really curious what led you into the experimental stage...

Thanks man.

Then why bother posting your thoughts ?

Your actions don't match your words.

That is a whole other thread. Search under my name and you will find it.

Also thanks to those that understand where I am coming from here. I am sorry some are offended but that is not my intention. At the end of the day I am only human and going thru something similar to you, similar but different.

In regard to negativity.

That is a fascinating perspective, I am nowhere near 7 years of Sobriety, but I somehow hope that with doing the other things Sobriety requires, rather than simply not drinking, creating new routines, carving out a new lifestyle, alcohol becomes increasingly pushed to the kerb, eventually maybe to the point that we cease to care for a drink anymore, because our life has been revolutionised with time, it no longer requires alcohol to be a part of it.

mpr,

You said you didn't really like the drink, but will be drinking again. Why would you consider drinking again if you didn't like it, especially when you then say life is better sober. I know that if say, I tried to eat something I never ate before and didn't like it, I wouldn't eat it again. So why drink again if you didn't like it? Just trying to understand? John

My thoughts too.

Do you want to enjoy it again?

The fact that you said you will do it again is the only thing that has me thinking hawks might have a point. His delivery could use a little work, but that's just IMO.

MPR, I'll respect your decision even though I'm not sure I agree with it. I wish you the best of luck with your attempt to moderate, but I think you could be playing with fire.

Diplomacy ....

"The art of being able to tell someone to "Go to Hell" and have them look forward to the trip."

:wall:

mpr,
there's a progression throughout your posts from the other thread to here, and it goes from basically "i'm thinking of trying it again but haven't decided anything yet" through people telling you you sound like you've decided to drink again and you rather vehemently denying that, then going to maybe you will maybe you won't to no, you haven't decided and now a few days later bingo, a decision was somehow reached and you decided oh no not to have one drink but more than one, and you've now said you'll drink again in the future, though you do not know when.

then you say that since you didn't "care for it", there's nothing to miss. yet, you will do it again. but you're posting this to help others by letting them know it's not a great thing to do, and that they're not missing out. it doesn't taste good and doesn't do anything for you, really.
but you'll do it again.
hello?

the logic of where you're at and the future drinking seems to rest on the fact that you "didn't care for it". this is screwed-up thinking.

and putting it in terms of posting to help others by telling them they're not missing much or anything (even though you yourself will do it again!) is highly unlikely to be useful to anyone; in all your years here, you've likely read this a thousand times in others' posts, but it didn't convince you whatsoever.

you'll probably consider this a negative post. i do not.

i'm sorry you decided to go back there.

Did you decide to drink again mpr? I thought you had decided it wasn't worth it. Why not just dump the stuff if it sucked so bad?

My intent is not to beat up on the OP. That said it's pretty clear where this experiment will lead if continued. I could be wrong and mpr could be a unique drinker but it wouldn't work for me. I have no doubt I could drink one or two tonight, the same tomorrow, and even the next day. But eventually I'd cross the line and get a buzz going then the monkey would be out of the cage. It's like deciding to drive drunk but only if you have three blocks or less to drive. Maybe but it's probably gonna blow up in your face.

Still, best of luck. Let us know how it works for you. Maybe you can have a few painful drinks that you don't enjoy occasionally just to prove you can.

Guys I only made this post to let those on the fence they are not missing much that is all.

If I drink again I wont glamorize and post about it, if I moderate I wont announce it, it wont help the majority in their recovery. Right now drinking is not a priority to me but I am open to it at some point. What works for me may not work for somebody else. I don't want to say well in a month I'll have another go at it, or next time my friends are having drinks I'll have a couple etc.. That wont do you any good.

I simply wanted to share the fact that it wasn't what I expected it to be, not as good as I recall it being and really can go with or without it, majority of the time without it because I like being sober. If I have a drink the odd time that is okay and it is on me to deal with. I wont be making a post saying well I drank again... I can moderate... blahblahblah - not my intent. My sole intention was to let those abstaining know to keep on doing so as they really aren't missing much. This helps the people who are like me or that think like me.

You don't need to analyze what I say and question what I will or wont do down the line. I actually received private messages from guys thanking me so I don't regret my post at all, if it helps you awesome, if not well thats okay too but it definitely should not hurt you.

I read this thread. It doesn't break any rules as far as my reading of the rules goes.
We have people drinking who post here all the time.

You can trust me and the forum team to keep peoples safety and well being here paramount :)

If this thread offends you you have the right to not read or post it anymore, or to employ the ignore function.

having said that tho... personal observation :)

mpr, I accept you feel you're doing a service here...but if eleven pages of really good shared experience didn't convince you that drinking would be a bad idea in your last thread, then you coming back here and telling us you 'didn't care for' it is probably not going to influence too many people one way or the other either.... so I'd prepare for a mixed grill of responses if I was you.

it's one thing to say

it's another to add

It's also worth nothing that 4 shots of JD over 2 hours is not normal drinking and far in excess of CDC guidelines ...yeah?

My own experierence? Very rarely did I return to drinking disastrously. Mostly when I drank again things often went well for a while...I felt none of the old passion or excitement...I felt honestly I could take it or leave it.

It didn't stay that way.

D