Letting go of the past.
 

Attachment 22668




Since I quit drinking feelings have been right in my face. I really thought I had let go of old hurts and moved on, when in fact I had just floated them in alcohol. Today is 10 months sober, and it feels good. I am learning to just feel, and allow the feelings to be there. Every day I feel stronger and am able to heal. Just wanted to share that. Letting go is such a big part of being sober.

I needed to hear this... I just posted here earlier and I am 19 days sober and hurting bad. I want to dig in a tear out the hurt now but I know it takes time. It helps to know that you are feeling better and healing.

Congratulations, huntingtontx, on 10 sober months; what a wonderful accomplishment. Glad that you are feeling stronger and healing. Learning to accept life on its own terms (and the feelings that come along with that acceptance) was a major battle for me.

Congratulations, again. You are rocking it.

Congratulations on 10 months, Hunt!!

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Thank you. I've been struggling with my past a lot the last few days.

Congrats on 10 months! :)

I have said I was sorry to people I treated badly in the past -those that did not deserve said treatment -

And I have taken the words they had for me about how I acted .

Now after I said I was sorry ,and they gave me the verbal chewing I deserved .

Don't think for a second ,I have now become the doormat for you to wipe your feet on .

I have made my amends to the best of my ability ,and they got the chance to VENT to me .

Don't think for a second im going to take that verbal abuse again -its over im DONE

I might deserve it multiple times ,but ill be darned if ill accept that .
Vent if you must , but my peace of mind is not for rent .

10 months is wonderful Huntington. We're very proud of you.

That was my challenge too - allowing myself to feel instead of pouring alcohol over everything. Being numb is damaging and it costs us. I'm so glad we're healing, learning and growing.

Congrats on the 10 months. For me I have found steps, 4, 5 and 6 to be great at releasing much of this pain. Writing down your resentments and then understanding my role was a new way for me to better understand my contribution and involvement. The process of writing was a wonderful release.

I have followed your posts for over 8 months and your doing an amazing job!

Congrats!! I love your attachment. I copied it and put it in my sobriety notebook.

Thank you all for your comments. I know I would never be able to walk this sober journey alone. Each day as I read and think about the posts I learn more. Thank you all for walking with me and encouraging me as I go. I hope I am always able to be there for you all too.

Great post. As I read it I immediately thought of steps 5 and 9. For me I never had much of an issue with the harms done to me. They were mostly deserved and were few in any case.

The pain for me was in the wreckage of my past. The secrets, the harm to others, I found far too painful to live with on my own. These were the things that could lead me back to drink.

Conversely, through the steps, God has turned my major liabilities into assets that I can use to help others. "We will not regret the past or wish to shut the door on it. We will see how our experience can help others"

It's all true.

Congratulations on 10 months. Love Iyanla she says things straight up! Thanks for the quote.

Congrats! Love the quote you posted.

Huntingtontx, 10 months sober is FANTASTIC, congratulations. Yea hunt, my feelings are all up in my face too. Right now I've got more self-help books than Amazon.com has, and they pretty much say ya gotta release the pain from your past to heal. I'm happy to work on it, rootin for ya. :egypt:

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Learning how to live in the feelings is difficult! Thanks for showing me it's possible. :)

Congratulations on ten months!!

:You_Rock_

I could never block out the past, instead I had to see through the illusion of the thoughts. I had to accept the fact that thoughts were just thoughts and it was only the mind doing what minds do. My mind would dance from one thought to another, most weren't even real in the present while others were projections into the past or the future. If it wasn't for my mind cooking those things up most of them were not even real in the now. The best thing about the past is that it's over yet the mind want's to convince you that it's still real in the present.

I also found that love and forgiveness were 2 of the most important things in recovery. If you can really feel those things for all including those that harmed you and for yourself you will find it very hard to hold onto anger and resentments along with all the other negative thoughts . The Buddhists have a "Loving Kindness Meditation" , I found this very helpful in recovery. Best of luck going forward.

^^^^well said. We are all addicts....to our own way of thinking. Without EMOTIONAL SOBRIETY we can't move forward in recovery!

:grouphug:

I could not agree more or have worded it better. I love the word recovery. That is what it is all about.