Tired of fooling myself and others
 

Fooled myself for the last month in thinking if I just drank beer that would be ok. It worked for a little while. No hangovers less alcohol in my system. Blah blah blah. But before I knew it the wine started creeping back in. Think I just lost my excitement for life. Which is a sad thing to say. But for today I promised myself I wouldn't drink. So I guess that's good.

Alcohol...cunning and baffling. Sorry you continue to struggle with not drinking.

Got any idea what you are going to change up to make this attempt stick? Please give this some thought, because whatever it was you were doing, wasn't working.

I guess I'm still struggling internally with the life long commitment of sobriety and if its right for me.

In your first post you mention promising you wouldn't drink today is a good thing, you sound positive and not panicking that goal can be achieved, but then in your next post focusing on things in the long term brings with it stress and anxiety.

The solution is keeping things simple, remain Sober TODAY, that's all you have to do each and every day, don't worry about weeks/months/years.

Make it until bedtime, are you sober TODAY? yes, well then job done!! . . . on to the next TODAY!!

You can do this!! :)

Friend-

If I thought this way, I would struggle too. And I've been stone cold sober for almost nineteen consecutive months. Thus, do yourself a favor and shrink the goal down to a level that is achievable.

No matter what happens or how you feel, or what you may "think", remember, all you have to do is not drink today.

That's it! :)

Live each day, as if it were a separate life. No matter how long its been, each day, we must consciously strengthen our sinew and resolve until our will to remain sober becomes the disposition to remain clean and sober.

You can do this!

I did things like that. I even switched beers thinking, 'Oh this Miller is killing me, I've got to switch to Pabst'. Strange how the alcoholic brain works.
I started on beer but as my alcoholism progressed, I would drink shooters of whiskey at 8am. Then, inevitably, this led to cheap vodka.

I lost my excitement for life, too, because I had no life. All I did was drink and recover.
Luckily, I came out of this mess of a life and am recovering.
It's been over three years now since I've had a drink, and I do it one day at a time.

I hope you can do it too. Everyone has it in them to recover but you have to want it more than you want to drink. You can do it.

Getting used to doing something else with your time will take some getting used to.

And you will find that your have lot's of time. No need for beer runs anymore, or feeling hungover sitting on the coutch feeling guilty.

Put as much effort into sobriety as you did coordinating drinking and you will be ok.

Just quit for today. Just today then go to sleep then wake up and repeat.

today could be an excellent first day of sobriety
 

that is where it starts
no drinking One Day At A Time

good luck

Mountainmanbob

Lol!!! I'm still early in the recovery process yet this made me stop and smile. I was essentially working a second job trying to plot when/where/how to hide my drinking. Mentally it was a TON of work that didn't need to be done.

Just one day at a time, arbor8. Day after day, it will stick. Keep posting; we are here for you.

Thanks for all the encouragement everybody. As I'm sure you've all been there. I'm looking forward to 24 hrs of sobriety today.

"The best thing about the future is that it comes one, day, at a time."
-Abraham Lincoln

Amen on that chit! :)

I can't think about a lifelong commitment to sobriety. That is too daunting to me - way too stressful to even contemplate.

So for now each morning I am just thinking - I want to stay sober today! It feels so good to be able to mark off another day.

How are you doing today, Arbor*?

Hanging in there I suppose. Thanks for asking. Had a couple sober days this week then slipped up last night. Wasn't as bad as it could have been. Work has been slow which doesn't help. Spring needs to get here fast!

What do you mean by "slipped?" Do you still keep alcohol in your house?

Time to be rigorously honest and stop with the lies.
Alcohol is alcohol no matter what. Whether its Listerine, wine, beer, vodka, everclear, wine coolers, vodka coolers, alcohol in foods and desserts. The body does not differentiate, all it knows is that you ingested alcohol. The body takes over and it wants more. This is a very basic level of understanding. All you can do is stay sober one day at a time, no matter what happens, knowing what you know about the disease of alcoholism. Not one drop of alcohol can enter the system. This is all basic information that a laymen or joe blow or common person should know. If not then continue to change the alcoholic beverage, why not move and do a geographical cure, why not change the crowd you hang with, or go to a different bar. Maybe those can help you be cured. It just might be that you have alcoholism, you are an alcoholic. Time to look at yourself and not look at anything else. The problem lays within yourself. Ask yourself why do you drink? You are most likely an alcoholic. Only you can determine that. But it sounds to me like you get the phenomenon of craving which is a symptom of alcoholism. In which case if you are an boozer, there is a way out. There is a solution.

Time
 

Just a breath step back and do some serious reading about alcoholism. I knew I was years ago but choose the drink to mask fear of not sleeping, ache and pains, money issues, job troubles
I created from drinking not
On the job ever but every day for 15 yeas solid . Etc etc.... If you think so then see your doctor to get help with detox it ant goona be fun but well worth it . Hi I'm geno alcoholic 19'days sober :headbange

Today insomnia plagues me a little as well anxiey a little look at my post from last night etc etc but getting better daily !'