I managed to get a bit of chicken soup into me, not a full can.. which was kind of depressing. Ah well. Normally I'd devour it.

I plan on burning my mattress soon. Same thing with my main computer chair. I've already procured replacements. There's an overwhelmingly large pile of clean linen nearby, I don't let the dirty clothes pile up, but haven't bothered putting them away. That's as about as honest as I can be.

I'm glad you're still checking in, HZ.

D

Glad to hear from you.

How is today going?

Well done on the soup. Crackers with the soup were phase 2 for me.

Any luck with the shower? You can always just wrap up in a sheet,
put some towels on the sofa, and crash there for a bit

Sitting in front of a sunny window playing old movies in the background
also rather comforting at this time for me. I wrote in a journal even through my
hand shook a lot at first.

Try for more soup today and maybe
a boiled egg or some oatmeal when things settle a bit more.

How are you feeling mentally?
Sad, flat, angry, disgusted, hopeful, were kind of cycles for me for a bit.
That part is also detox I'm thinking.

Hang in there.

Hi, still here

Thanks for the responses!


Today was painful, and I laid in bed most of the day, taking in a unit or so as I laid there wondering when this will ever end. Getting up was not fun but I looked forward to getting outside before it got dark.

Yesterday was gorgeous weather, and I slipped off my shoes and socks and ran around in the snow a bit! Kept track of my vitals the whole time, as I've constantly been doing, and decided lying down in the snow wasn't a good idea, as much as I wanted to do it. Wondered how the inuit put up with going barefoot in the snow. Got a bit of sun, though, which was nice.

Today was mostly lying in bed...

Worked out a bit recently, lower body mostly. Grabbed onto the bar and threw myself up and over it, one handed... hmm that's not normal. Normally I'd have a couple weeks of hard training in front of me in before I could do that. Maybe the few days of fasting/detoxing are better for me than I know.

As far as food goes.. ugh I don't even want to think about that. Poached egg, about one total, I may be able to put up with. Maybe only half. I'm surprised my appetite isn't stronger. I embarrassed people with how much food I could put away not even a month ago, and while the body weight increased.. I kind of miss that.

Hanging in there though. Didn't mean to type so much.

Good to hear from you, HZ.

Try to get more food if you can. Need to keep your strength.

good to see you're moving along hidden...

glad to hear from you.

sounds like things are going well.

That's good news!

Just wanted to check in and say thanks.

Spending lots of time in bed, zeroing out my bac for painful amounts of time, but going through daily life and keeping up with it.

2% milk helps with the nausea, I've noticed. Coats the stomach and supplies a bit of nutrition.



I wrote the previous section nearly a day ago. Not sure why I didn't post. Laid in bed almost all of today. It's winter again outside; that's not surprising. Not a whole lot else to say. Glad to hear from people.

Good to see you, HZ.

How much are you down to now?

Nice to see you Aarryckha. Your name is hard to spell, at least for me, btw. It's interesting and I'm curious how you came up with it.

I've got 4 units logged from early this morning, and almost nil as I laid in bed all day. If 8 units get logged by the end of the day it wouldn't upset me.

Venting here: Vital signs were starting to cause concern so I took another unit to keep them at bay, doing deep breathing exercises as I waited the hour or so it would take for it to kick in.

This medicine that keeps me alive used to be so much fun, but it's devil's nectar. I can't wait to be done with it.

You're the second person to ask me that. I really can't say where it came from. /laughs

Hang in there. Have you eaten today? Drinking lots of water?

Hi

still here. Slept a bit last night, even dreamt a bit, which was nice.

Drinking water even when my body doesn't require it, and adding a bit of electrolytes.

Good morning, HZ!

So, how long do you stay sober at a time?

Hydration is good. Try to eat some too... or get your milk.

Hope today goes well for you!

Glad to see you are getting the units down hz

Are you able to get a little sunshine today?
Sounds hokey but warm milk is actually kind of nice and sleep-inducing.
Sleeping through it is one strategy that really helps, doesn't it?

How long do you anticipate it will take to finish tapering?
What kind of fun things are you looking forward to when this is behind you?

hi, and thanks for the responses

heh, milk's good stuff! My body can process it with minimal effort, even when fasting. I added a scoop of whey protein to a tall glass this morning, and later ending up drinking over a gallon of water just so it could get processed. A poached egg has been on the nightstand since this morning.. they should make a poached-egg air freshener.

Or maybe not.. lovely aroma though.

Sometimes I stay sober for nearly a day as my vitals slowly spike. I tend to believe that's the best way to do it, so long as one is monitored properly. Other times it's a few sips each hour as the day goes by, never getting buzzed and it's probably more painful, to be honest. Do I soldier through it fearing seizures while my body fights a civil war, or take a few sips every so often throughout the day while my mind races? As much as my curious mind would like to know the answer, I'm not sure there is one. Depends on the situation, I suppose. This is where I was a week ago. If I'm lucky I'll walk away by the end of the week.

In looking over my post I see it's not the most pleasant news, and thought I'd point out that I realize that. I'm around half of baseline and as much as I'd like to spend an extra week or so to ease the symptoms, hope to be done asap. Liver, stomach, pancreas, kidneys could all use a break.

I'd like to take my bicycle out. The weather has been extended winter around here and riding doesn't work so well. Looking forward to a ride. (:

Out of bed for a bit but going back soon, spent time outside today listening to the birds chirping. They seem fine with the weather. I'm ready for spring!

Good to hear from you! I'm glad to hear you're feeding your body.

I'm hoping you are done soon, though safety is the main concern, because, you're right, your body could use a break.

Get some rest and hang in there!

Up for a bit. Ate a bit of homemade stew today, it took an hour to make but twice as long to get some into me. Ah well. Left a big pot in the refrigerator for easy-access nutrition. Not a lot else to post about. Tempted to throw in the towel, but I've been feeling that way for a while now. Just hoping to get some decent sleep! HZ out

You've come this far. Don't give up now!

It would be madness to go backwards now.
How much of your taper is left according to your plan?

D