Underoath,
Strangely,I understand every word and sentiment in your post. I too have tried many times to abstain but when I would start back drinking people would say that I musn't have wanted sobriety badly enough. I don't fully agree with that even though I still struggle.
Sometimes we just have to do things because it is the right thing to do.For many reasons it is. Sure it's fun sometimes. Mostly at the end of the night,no.
I come from a pretty strong Christian background and Paul said basically The things I don't want to d I do and the things I do wanna do I don't.

That about sums it up for me.I am only a few days into sobriety,but I don't want to keep living the drunk life anymore.





no.

I read something the other day that said that first I was sober because I had to be. Then I was sober because I was willing. Then I was sober because I wanted to be.

I still don't WANT to be a lot of the time, but I think the timeline is different for everyone