My wife says I'm angry all the time.
 

Went on a walk with my wife tonight. I guess im in somewhat of a bad mood but not really verbally showing it. Anyways my wife tells me im angry and in a bad mood all the time. I feel bad. Its not her fault im "angry" but id be lying if i said i wad actually happy. No pityy party here ....im just sort of blah and i guess i take it out on others. Perhaps its because im new to sobriety and im not used to not being buzzed? Idk i feel guilty for continuing to be a trainwreck even when im sober. Sorry to vent anf sorry for any grammatical errors .....typing from my phone

Does your wife no that you aren't drinking? I would try talking to her to explain what you just said now. Good luck weaver!

She knows and she is/has been supportive. But she still has wants and needs. Alcoholism is a selfish disease all around. I hate that its still all about me me me. I cant help or hide hpw i feel guilty though. I suppose i could "pretend better "for until i have a few months. Of sobriety under my belt. Let the fog clear. Get used to being sober lol.

being in a bad mood is one of the short term side effects of getting sober. dont worry it will pass. I do agree with Tamerua in that you need to talk to your wife and let her know what is going on inside of you. She can not read your mind and know what you are going through.. Its hard but it does get better. Keep up the good work. :You_Rock_

Again sorry my phone is auto correcting left and right

It is selfish... And your recovery will be too because you need to work on you, for you. But if she can hold out a little while longer, it will pay off. :)

I've found that when I quit and didn't really commit to quoting, I waited around grumpy until I gave in and drank again. It was like I was on hold, just waiting. Which in turn, make me angry and irritable. However, when I decided I wanted to quit for real, and I actively started pursuing a sober life, things got a lot better. If you really want to quit, you have to actively pursue it, and make monumental changes in your life to make it happen. JMO

I have angry moments but have not been an all around grump.

I did notice that I still have my negative attitude. It hit me the other day when someone mentioned something and I did not bite their head off but I my comments were negative. I realized later then I could have answered or commented a lot better. This is something I am working on.

Are you or your wife going to any therapy, AA, Al-anon?

i was full of rage for a while after quiting. for the first month i wanted to smash something anything at all times. i was pretty down right angry and full of rage for a couple months. it eased up. I'm doing better for just accepting things for how they are throwing my hands in the air knowing there isnt much i can do rather then reach for a baseball bat ready to unleash hell on whatever object looks good. I honestly wish i woulda done just that a few times it probably would have ade me feel better to go out in the back yard and smash something to smitherenes while i screamed obscenities at it.

instead now i've found exercise a to be a nice outlet to the angry anxiety frustration depression etc... it gives me time to work it out physically and think it out all at once. Kinda getting 2 birds with one stone.

yeah if its any consolation my wife was afraid of me. and no i never gave her a reason but she saw how angry i was and was concerned.

Holy cats! THANK YOU for recognizing this. Yup. the "but I just stopped drinking" alibi only goes so far.

My BF is 8 weeks sober (not his first rodeo) and he always has an alibi for his deep overflowing well of anger and resentment. Every night he comes home and yells for at least an hour to me about all the bleepidy bleepin people at work, and bleepin issues...Well...yup, life happens but it's just never appropriate to take it out on everyone, for whom life is also happening.

Well, it almost cost him his job, and our income and home last week. And our relationship lately. Being sober isn't enough. I don't want another pile of "I'm sorries" from him. I want him to get into recovery.

But that's entirely up to him.

But yeah, I am tired of being pummeled by his hatred and fear of everything. I'm totally supportive, but not endlessly able to take living in a hostile environment.

Steps
 

In the 8th Step of the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions (Alcoholics Anonymous) it confirms that alcoholics most befuddling issues stem from twisted relationships. Some spend the rest of their entire lives working at re-orienting those relationships--ask me how I know...

It turns out that I was somewhat selfish and self-centered, full of fear and dishonesty, and I held my relationships at arms length for fear of them finding out my greatest fear: Fear. I didn't know this, however, and it was only as I worked through the Steps of AA that I began to understand the phrase, "The Steps are a design for living," to mean spiritual tools for managing my fear-based existence.

When I simply quit drinking, I was still the same person--fear-filled, angry, unsure, and just plain PI$$ed off that I was never going to be able to drink again! Hell NO I'm not angry at YOU! LEAVE ME ALONE!! It's because I didn't know anything about relationships, courage, integrity, forgiveness and the like. There's more to not drinking that quitting drinking, and while I may have some success at sobering up a horse thief, he'll still be a horse thief until he's learned some new skills.

For people like me, I needed a substitute for the mental component of this dis-ease called alcoholism because I was restless, irritable, and discontent until I could find that sense of ease and comfort I used to get from that first drink--when everyone would BACK UP ten feet and let me breathe.

And then I'd get hammered once more.

Try actually working the steps of AA like others, and chances are you'll end up getting what they got. Serenity, joy, peace, and worthwhile relationships built on love rather than fear.

peaceness...

my anger eased up mainly because I didnt like feeling that way anymore and tried to figure it out. I really never gave it much thought how it affected my wife. reason being is she has her fair share of flip out sessions as well that i'm expected to remain tolerant of etc... and she doesnt seem to care how i feel about that.

But I figured it was up to ME to get my stuff in order i couldnt go on being that angry. It took time but its not so bad now.

Weaver, this is a quote from BB (THE DOCTOR'S OPINION)

Men and women drink essentially because they like the
effect produced by alcohol. The sensation is so elusive that,
while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time
differentiate the true from the false. To them, their alco-
holic life seems the only normal one. They are restless,
irritable and discontented, unless they can again experience
the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by tak-
ing a few drinks--drinks which they see others taking with
impunity.