Thanks everyone for getting me through a weird patch once again. I don't know why I think the way I do sometimes. The main thing that keeps me sober right now is my physical health. I can't mess with that. Just getting mellow was never enough for me so I don't know why I play with the idea so much. I obviously still need a lot of support still. Thanks for being honest and kind. Sometimes the best things in life are free! I feel better this morning and I'm not having any stupid daydreams. I'm remembering where I was physically and mentally a few months ago.

I've got a HUGE presentation to give at a meeting tonight and the pressure is on from my boss to hit this one out of the park. Of course, I've got an overwhelming desire to load up before the meeting...but I'm determined not to. As Caboblanco said, our health is more important than the "mellowing"...but I'll freely admit that I would like some mellowing right about now. :(

I was in the grocery store this morning and the thought of a beer crossed my mind. It makes me so mad. I just replace it with another thought.

I have to keep my memories fresh of all the horrible things that have happened to me as a result of drinking. The longer I am away from it I catch myself thinking that maybe it would be different now but I have to be honest with myself. There are so many other far more productive options in my life now sober than ever were living in a bottle. Thanks for this post!