I failed.
 

Almost had day four down. The panic attacks came back and I found myself at the store buying a 6 pack. Which isn't nearly enough to make me drunk, but it made the panic stop. So I'm back to day one. Dizzy as hell again. I'm so depressed. I feel trapped. I tried so hard, did the right things, meetings, relaxing, breathing, but I couldn't do it. I am trapped in this cycle, scared, sad...
just, sad.

CD

Don't be sad about it...Perseverance...It's a wonderful thing...Have some...Don't drink for today...If you can get to a meeting...Go for it.

Its hard man (hopefully I got that right?), I know, keep on stepping up to the plate! I really only want to say I hope you don't do what I have noticed myself doing which is getting less practise in quiting then I do with how not to.

Sorry if that doesn't make sense.

If it were easy to stop everyone would do it and this forum wouldn't exist.

I failed many times quitting drinking and while I've been on a winning streak lately I know failure is always right there.

Forget what happened, forget that you slipped. Focus on the now, what can you do right now that is a positive step forward? Go to a meeting, hell go to as many as you need to to make it through today.

I've seen people go to 4-5 a day in the beginning just to get through it.

Just don't give up on trying and like many said in your thread about anxiety...get to a doctor and get some help for the anxiety.

Stay positive, you can do it.

Guilty as charged...

There is something about day 4, that's when I ALWAYS relapse. I can't get 5 days. You didn't fail, just keep trying, if you get to that 5th day or 1 week celebrate and do something good for yourself. Good luck. :)

I'm coming up on nine months...I still go to at least 5 meetings a week...Because I like them and that's where my friends are...Early on it was a place that was safe and I could see people that had made it work...I got a lot of hope from that..

I found that when I attended meetings every day I didn't have to drink.
Go to the meetings and tell them about your panic attacks. Everyone I told said that they had them too.

I thought "You mean they go away????!!!!". Yes, they will go away.

Cloudy, some folks here say that they can do this on their own. more power to them..
I CAN'T, and you may be one of us. Wishing you the best.

Bob R

Hey man its ok! You are being honest with yourself and telling on yourself so thats progress. Just pick up where you left off you can do this

It wasn't that you "couldn't" do it, it is that you "didn't." I in no way mean that to be a put-down. I just mean that it takes time. Don't beat yourself up for past mistakes, look at them, learn from it and move on.

Good luck.

surrender
 

Great to hear you are trying it again. At some point we quit trying and surrender our problem. I pray you can .

Keep Coming Back

Failing is different from not getting there this time. We are learning with each step we take. That first week or two is the hardest.

I had a lot of false starts too in the beginning. Your not alone in this, dust yourself off and try again.

You are strong to get as far as you did.
I don't think I could have.
My saving grace was hospital where I stayed a month. Complete cold turkey. I can't say I had any cravings there as it is a completely different atmosphere (and clinical, obviously)... I was being fed/watered/bathed/looked after. Completely taken out of the day to day life I was used to. I even gave up smoking for a month while I was there as well. (That didn't last!)
My admiration for all of you who are doing it yourselves is vast.
And thank god for the NHS!

Nintendo home system? No really what is NHS?

On second thought that post might have been inappropriate if any of the Mods think so feel free to remove it as well as this one.

thomas edison invented the lightbulb. it took him more than 100 times to get one that worked for any length of time. a news paper reporter asked him on the dawn of his new intention how it felt to finally succeed after so many failures. he said " i did not fail...not once. it was just a 100 step proccess."

dust yourself off and try again. most of us don't get it the first or second or even 100th time. we just keep trying until we get it.

CloudyDays, you just described my regular experience over the past few years. Except I buy vodka, not beer. Just pick yourself up and try again.

Ha ha. Its Ok. Its the UK National Health Service. Basically, its free health care.

I think that in the US etc you need health insurance (tied in with your job? not sure) and don't get free health care. I have read here in dismay that a couple of people won't go to the ER because they cannot afford it!

We are very lucky here and can be blasé about it. There are alot of people from other countries come here (legally or not) for the free healthcare system. This is clogging the system somewhat and the waiting lists for operations are very long, Im not sure how it works exactly, but there is a duty of care to treat everyone. Well, I hope that answers your wonderings!

BTW, how did you know... I have a Nintendo Wii !!!