Recovery by choice
 

Happy Tuesday,

I'm excited about getting the workbook "recovery by Choice." Lee, I hope you can get it too. Anyone else?

Mountaingirl - I'll take you up on the offer to be my mentor!! Maybe we could have our own thread. Who's with me?

Jayhay

Yes ,Jay , I am looking forward to it too, it seems I may not recieve mine til after Xmas, but that is fine . I am really pleased to be getting it , cos I do not know where to start re facing my core problems without a starting point !

Will keep you both informed ! :)

HUGX
Lee

oh yea!.... it worked!

Thank you muchly ! :)
HUGX
Me

What's the "workbook by choice"? Maybe it will help me...

Gianna

Hi Gianna,

Mountaing girl recommended the workbook called "Recovery By Choice" by Martin Nicolaus. She found it at the site unhooked.com, but you can also get it on Amazon.com

I got it a couple days ago, and started reading it. The list of contents is impressive; doesn't seem to leave out any aspect of your life and how alcoholism plays a role - and vice versa.

I'm back to day two, sadly, but gratefully. Had a bad weekend, but I'm back on it. Join in Gianna!

Jayhay

Let us know how it's working for you guy's when you get started, it will be awesome for you to share this experiance as your program of recovery!

Hey Jay,

That's a good idea trying out different books. We'll have to start our own book review thread.

I was sad to hear just then that you had a bad weekend. I was thinking about Christmas and the temptation that awaits (Christmas it has been now for about 45 minutes - I should get to bed!).

But I was thinking how if you can resist the urge to drink, when it's at its strongest; perhaps even when you've convinced yourself 'just this once'. If you can open the can, or bottle, and even then NOT drink it, and go on and have a good time without it - then that has to be the ultimate psychological body blow to the alcoholic part of us.

That's kinda the way I'm looking at it. Later today I'm going to be surrounded by ppl drinking, with alcohol lying around everywhere, and no doubt someone there to ply me with it. But I want to build up and collect these experiences; somehow it would worry me if I *didn't* get the urges. I want to be prepared for the inevitably bad things that happen in life, with the experience of not relying on the bottle.

So in my long-winded way, I suppose what I'm trying to say is look to Christmas as an opportunity to get one of these tough experiences out of the way, like putting savings in a bank. Does this make any sense? I think I should get to bed or Santa might catch me still up!

Mark.

I like your take on it Mark - I am viewing as one of those tough moments. Kind of like "if I can make it through this one....I dan do anything."

Get to bed now, santa doesn't bring presents to naughty boys, ya know.

Happy Christmas!

Jay

Hooray, I made it through Christmas unscathed. Weird day though. There wasn't much alcohol around, much quieter than previous years have been. There's no doubt I enjoyed the day, much more than I ever would if I were drinking. Felt the strongest urge to drink when I got home though (????). But it passed. So I've got that one under my belt now. Next one is New year's eve. But I don't think I'll push my luck - I'll probably be boring and stay in. I hope everyone had such a good Christmas as well.

Mark.

ps. Curious observation: When I've had really strong urges, and haven't succumbed to them, say I wake up the next morning, I've always been so happy and glad that I didn't succumb and think to myself, "What was I thinking?". I've never regretted *not* giving in to an urge.

The opposite is just as true. In the past I've always regretted giving up to an urge.

So now when I get an urge I can say to myself: "All my past experience shows if I don't give in to the urge I'll be happier tomorrow".

So in that respect, it's not about just taking care of today, but taking care of the day after that, and so on.

I just wish there was a simple but elegant pattern of thought, like a pretty little flower or fractal, that would just replicate itself in number and scale, and deal with the demons effortlessly. We're all just glimpsing fragments of solutions, I think, without a real unified attempt to really get down to a real 'cure'. At least from my research I haven't found any scientific projects attempting to do this. Efforts seem to be roughly divided into physiological / psychological / spiritual categories.

Whoops sorry to waffle on... Time for bed.

Woohoo!

I made it through xmas eve. Not a big problem either. I don't think anyone in my family noticed that I *didn't*drink. Strange. I told myself that I'd be the one driving the family back to Madison (from Milw., WI) late at night, so that was extra incentive.

I found that I still had a good time talking with family, and no one got on my nerves. (Except that unltra conservative freak...I mean, individual,... of a 2nd cousin I have who always wants to talk politics.....*not* a good idea in my family, since we siblings are all rather "progressive" or "Liberal" or whatever term you want to use).

So, here is it xmas day!. I'm thankful for the little things, like watching the kids open stocking gifts and presents without first having a breakfast of 24 oz. of H2O and 800 MG ibuprofen.

Enjoy your holidays all!
Happy Hannukah too!

Jay

sorry
 

I hope no one is offended by my remarks about my conservative cousin.....He's just a strange and arrogant dude - conservative or not. I do respect everyone's views and opinions.

Jay

Hi Jay, Mark, Chy and all,

Into day 3 and so happy about it. I know from experience that if I can get some time in, it will be much easier. Chy, the 5th of January of course, will be the hard day for me when I return to New York and all those bars I love so much. Luckily I have a friend staying with me that day and another for the rest of the week, so if only I can get over that hump. BF's family gave me two private Tango lessons for Xmas so I think I will line them up for that week. It will help. what an incredibly thoughtful gift!

Re: literature. Thanks to MG and jay for the info on "Recovery by Choice". I will get it. As I have mentioned elsewhere, the magazine I work for is doing an article on all the biological and molecular stuff behind addiction, craving and relapse. It won't be out till March, but I turned up in my research an excellent article on this same topic, done by Newsweek a few years back. I am going to make a pdf of it. Anyone who wants it, please send me their e-mail and I will send it along. Knowing how little real control we have over these cravings, etc. is a help. For my part I hate myself so much when I give in to alcohol, at least I know it is not a defect of will or spirit.

Thanks friends for being here,
Gianna

Hi Gianna,

Congrats on day 3. You're doing so well!

Yes, I'd like to get a copy of the pdf if that's ok. My email is [email protected]

I'd love to be able to talk about some of the things I've read that have helped me, so I'll start making some pdf's too. We can read and comment, gain insight from each other. That's the spirit of the forum - to give and share. Thanks,

Mark.

Hi Gianna, congradulations. I'd also like to see that pdf if you have time. You have my e-mail. Mark my e-mail is [email protected] if you want to send it my way too. I can return interesting stuff I come accross on this end.
Take care,
Wiebe

You all sound so wonderful this morning! Keep up the good work!

Gi keep real busy and don't start thinking about Jan 5 before it happens. Enjoy the day's you have take those tango lessons and busy.. busy.. busy!

Wiebe!! Hugs to you guy!

Hi Mark, Wiebe, Chy,

I will send off the pdf tomorrow. Day 5-Hurrah!!!

More tomorrow,
Gianna

Me Me Me Gianna
 

my Newsweek copy wass borrowed never returned. As it was Feb. 02 or 01 issue...I have been out of luck in replacing it. Even wrote to Newsweek..no answer.

I would appreciate any info you would care to send.

[email protected]

There was a book/pictorial published by Time-Life in the late 60`s
"The Drug Takers"
excellent..again I have no copy left.

Should you know where I could buy either...please let me know. Thank you.

Hi all,

I've scanned in this really good article about human nature that has really helped me (my doctor actually photocopied it for me), I'll try to scan an article every week. I've emailed to Rotten and Weibe. Unfortunately I can't attach files to emails here. If you'd like a copy of these just email me at [email protected]

Mark.

Hi Mark, interesting article, and your doctor sounds like someone who actually cares enough to try to help. Amazing.
Thanks
Wiebe