When you stop drinking you will discover that you will gradually go to pieces emotionally until you can't stand it and then you will drink again.This cycle will repeat for the rest of your life.It is called alcoholism.
There is only one solution if you are an alcoholic of my type,AA.

Cheers,Steve

Stress......it's pretty simple. Find a way to moderate, find a way to quit, or just keep on doing it - in which case, most of us kill ourselves long before the booze wipes us out (or we go back to prison or something similar).

All of us choose "moderation" first but don't personally know an allkie who's ever pulled that one off.

From there, there are lots of what I'll call empowerment programs where you can learn techniques to not drink.

After that, AA is all I know that's left. You said AA doesn't work which usually means you worked part of the program.....and that's your prerogative. That said, for someone who's really alcoholic, part or some of the steps won't work at all....it's an all or nothing deal.

I hope you find something or your willingness to give AA another try changes. Something will work......I don't think it's anyone's destiny to die a active alcoholic.

I do not find that I become an emotional wreck. It is the opposite. I begin to feel good and proud of the fact that I have managed to get so far however little it is. The problem is that I give eventually give into the craving and think OK just this one more time I'll buy a couple of beer, but that's it and "it" just turns into a relapse and continues until I get fed up enough to decide to stop again. I do not know much about this disease I only know what I go through.