I made it my week
 

WHOOOT! I made it! I have been wanting to make this thread since I posted my last one. Only took me more than a month of confusion, dissapointment, and lessons sorley learned. But so long as I stick with this it was worth it.

Thank you to all of the people that gave me advice and encouragment throught my struggles in figuring this out. Not that I am saying I have it completley figured out just that you have helped me make forward progress and I appreciate it.

Looking forward to another one.

INH

:c017:

congrats on your first week! i hope you feel good enough to go for a double! (2 weeks)

Excellent to see, let's do this again a week from now.

Congrats,

I have also achieved 1 week today and it feels good....

keep it up!:scoregood

Congratulations to the both of you :)

D

Congratulations to the both of you :)

D

Well done, a day turns into a week a week turns into a month a month turns into a year!!

Great job, and good luck in the future.

Great!!!! INH, that is absolutely fantastic! Congrats!

Way to go INH! I've been waiting to see this thread! Time to double down now!

Day 9
 

Hey everybody,

Just checking in to let you all know that I didn't go out and "celebrate" my 7 days or anything ;).

First of all thanks everyone for the congratulations, secondly Happy New Year!

Of course what post of mine would be complete without the random thought? So when I was watching family guy, (something, something, something, dark side) last night and when I was reading something that was posted by another SR member yesterday, I laughed my ass off. I know that isn't something all that remarkable but it struck me that I didn't laugh like that anymore. Don't get me wrong I used to laugh and didn't consider myself unhappy (well most of the time) but I don't remember the last time I was litterally struggling to breathe because I was laughing. It felt good. I wonder if that is the flipside to the coin many people post about, meaning being horribly depressed or crying a lot when they quit. I am not unusually happy or sad recently just content, but I am usually a very emotionally reserved person, so I guess it all comes down to your personality. I just remember reading people reassuring others who were going through some dark times that all those emotions have been muddled down over the years by alcohol and are only now boiling to the surface, I guess the same can be true of good ones.

INH

http://bestsmileys.com/sparkle/1.gif Congrats INH and hendrixstrat, WTG! http://bestsmileys.com/sparkle/1.gif

Congrats on your progress!!

:a122: you rock!

Day 11
 

Still hanging in there came close last night to getting in the car and going to the store because I didn't have to work today. It kinda sucked there for a couple of hours talking myself into and out of going to get beer. I never made it out of the house but the thought was there and pretty tempting. I am doing alright now, though I am sure that same feeling/desire is going to hit this evening.

Like I said still hanging in there.

INH

HANG IN THERE INH. This is day 2 for me and I am watching your progress..it's inspiring! :)

Glad you didn't cave on day 11.

Are you involved in any program of recovery (for me that's AA) or are you "white knuckling" it?

After trying to quit on my own a zillion times, I finally gave up and tried AA. I've found the face to face aspect of AA important in staying sober.

Failed. After posting my last one I went grocery shopping and eventually bought beer. I fought with myself for a good half hour and delayed going down that aisle for quite a while but I eventually did. I feel stupid. Well here we go again.

INH

I wouldn't look at it as failed....I'd look at it is as one more lesson you have learned why you have to stop this stuff for good....It comes down to...Who is in control?....Keep trudging along...You can't let it win...It will kill you.

INH- It takes courage to be honest. When I "fail", I typically just avoid this board at all costs.
Try not to beat yourself up but learn from it, try to go back and see what may have contributed to you"giving in". Boredom is definately huge. Often for me it is boredom (or my own version of boredom because there is actually plenty to do, always! I just don't "feel" like it, I feel like drinking) or hunger.
After a setback, I always ask myself, "so what are you going to do, just give up?" I try to imagine a life of just drinking with reckless abandon and not even trying anymore. Awful!
I am just learning all of this, just like you. Never give up.

Timetochaonge: I honestly thought about posting like it had never happened and just keeping my day count rolling but I thought what is the point of posting at all and using this site if I am not honest with myself and everyone here. Thanks for the advice, you too Sapling. I am not going to stop working at this.

INH

Just being honest with yourself is taking a major step in the right direction....I admire you for that.

Sorry to hear about the beer incident INH. What sort of support systems are you using other than SR?

Took a break for a while and hit another low point after four nights. Talked to a good friend of mine and some family and they helped me admit that I need to get whatever help I can. I have someone that has moved in for the next couple of weeks that can help me not just with this but proffesionally as well which will help with a major stressor. I am going to start trying again and I admited my problem to him which he was actually pretty cool with it. Day two.

PS man that first afternoon/night sucks.

INH

I missed this thread when you started it IHN but as I read it, at first I smiled but that smile was short-lived. I remember when I was trying to get sober. I'd go maybe a couple days and then BAM, I'd get drunk......and I mean REALLY drunk. Wake up, hate myself more than I did yesterday (which was already off-the-charts levels of hate), swear that was the last time, and do the whole damn thing over again.

Each time I hit a couple days, I'd start to get excited.....but then that excitement was quickly displaced with the fear (or the realization) that I'd have to keep this up FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. I sure didn't know everything but I pretty-much knew that I couldn't keep myself sober forever. It also started to become apparent to me that I'd need to get this sobriety thing.......forever.......OR ELSE. (and the "or else's" were kicking my butt darn good).

That realization however, is what got me to give AA a try. LOL.....I didn't necessarily WANT their solution early on but it was obvious I was running out of options.

Grats on day two... Let's get to day three :) I hope things work out well with your new house guest. Let us know how you're doing.

I've got confidence in you INH.

Day three went fine, no issues other than can't sleep because I am all figity at night no matter how tired I am (really tired) but I think tonight I will take a couple advil PM and try to get to bed earlier it worked out alright last time. Also I really need to drink more water man I am dehydrated.

INH

I have a simple question for you INH....Have you ever tried going to an AA meeting? Reading the Big Book? The reason I ask...Is because there is no possible way I could have quit drinking on my own...And it worked for me. Maybe you have...Maybe you haven't...But it sure can't hurt.

I have cracked open the big book but not read all of it. well no where near all of it to be honest. and maybe one day AA would be a good idea for me, for now I could do online meetings but not physcial ones as I am not in a country that has stuff like that and if they did it wouldn't be in english. But thanks for the ideas you are no where near the first to say this and belive me I would actually like to go to one to see if it could help and to see what they are like. But for now at least and for the next almost two years it is just not an option.

INH

What country are you in? Because I know they have AA meetings around the world. Have you ever looked for one in english?