This has made sobriety very difficult for me. I am able to initially attract women with no problem, but once I mention that I don't drink there's always the same negative reaction that makes me feel miserable. They either consider you boring or they assume you have major alcohol/drug problems.

I had one guy stop calling after I told him I don't drink. I didn't get the impression he was a big drinker, either.

But that was it. I suspect it depends on how we handle the question. I'm into fitness so, usually, at first I'd let the guy assume it was because of that. Then if things got a little more involved I'd tell him that I'd quit drinking after getting into trouble with it. I took a hint from George W. Bush and avoided using the term alcoholic.

Probably the most important thing is to be matter of fact about it. Don't act ashamed, proud, evasive, and whatever you do don't start peppering the conversation with recovery lingo.

One thing's for certain, there's not much future in a relationship that isn't founded on honesty.
If you can't tell them the truth about your sobriety, then it's kinda pointless.

Beanfrost...:wave:...Welcome to our recovery community

Well done on your recovery years...:funjump:

I am dating a guy that is about to celebrate 3 years sober. We met on a Christian dating wesite. I don't drink and he does not want to date a social drinker.
There are still some people out there that don't drink at all. Try a online healthy eaters group some of them don't drink. Maybe meet someone at the Gym. Keep looking even though the media does not help some people are alcohol and drug free.

My 19 year marriage ended almost 2 years ago and I've been in three relationships since then. I think the key is to know what you want in a relationship and be prepared to walk away if it isn't working out. Sobriety does not guarantee that the person will be a good match for you. My first girlfriend was an AA member (6 years sober) but very controlling (didn't last long). My second girlfriend (met her on Facebook) was one year sober but was a drama queen, always one crisis away from a drink. My new girlfriend (met her on a dating site) is a social drinker and is very down-to-earth, fun to be with. There may be plenty of social drinkers that are an ideal match for you.

Other places I've met women and developed friendships include the gym and through work. You have to put yourself out there and see what happens. Be confident!