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Originally Posted by Supercrew
(Post 2973682)
Because somewhere subconsciously in their brain they still enjoy drinking and don't want to quit. I said I was going to quit 1000's of times, for my wife, for my family, I finally quit and lost the obsession when I quit for me and convinced my subconscious mind that I wanted to do it. |
Hi ru and congrats on your sober time! I'm not going to AA either (I have in the past). I think AA works because of it's approach to recovery: one alcoholic helping another, admitting we can't control our addiction by ourselves, and working on changing our inner self. Those were the things that worked and they worked before AA became a formal institution. To me, it's kind of like church. There's the central message, which is the important part, and then there's all the packaging that goes along with it. It can even be turned into an ego trip - with who has the most church attendance and involvement, and which church is better than another. In the end, it's about whether we take responsibility and make the changes, using whatever resources we need to do that. I commend you for going to meetings and giving AA a shot. :c011: |
Thanks Art. I went to 20 meetings. I think I gave it a fair shake. And I do like hanging out with other sober people. I like cleaning up and making coffee and all that. In fact I like the the service aspect most. I also like a lot of the people that I met. I just think that I and only I am responsible for my behavior. If I drink it is because I chose to drink. It is on me. And it is on me to stop. And I did. "Since you have stated that willpower alone is enough for you, I have to guess that you lean toward some kind of masochism. I can't say for certain but it seems that way if you decided to be a 'flaming drunk'. To each their own" Statements like this is part of the reason I decided to stop going to AA. Keep it up. Maybe some newbe will read this and see what is in store for them if they go to AA and not toe the proper line. |
Congrats RU! :c014: If I may, I think some of the other posters are referring to the fact that alcoholism is a symptom of a deeper issue (anxiety, depression, low self esteem, etc...) that is being treated with alcohol. This applies to most people and I'm in no way implying this includes you. Anyhow, when someone stops drinking, the deeper issue remains because willpower alone will bring sobriety but it is not generally enough to maintain it in the long term. It takes a recovery process for that. Hope this makes sense. Bear in mind, I'm only 58 days into sobriety myself and still working on trying to figure all of this out so I could be way off. I'm not using AA but I've greatly benefited from the BB, speaker tapes, and using some SMART recovery techniques...and some yoga, Buddhist principles, and good old-fashioned application of the Golden Rule. Hadn't really thought about it before now but my recovery is quite the mixed bag, lol! |
Hi Mida, Makes perfect sense. |
I think 20 meetings is a good gauge of whether or not it's for you. Good for you for at least giving it a real effort. A lot of people have just tried to stop, and couldn't, including me. So it's great that it you've got that mindset, but don't dismiss the fact that not everyone can do that. |
Hi Rain, I'm not at all certain what works for others. Just what has been working for me. I just don't drink. Ever. If AA or SMART or SOS or whatever works then great! Really. |
Oh I love your pacific-indian avatar! just lovely. |
I quit drinking. I made a decision not to drink. Willpower has nothing to do with it at all. I made a decision and I made a decision not to change my mind. So now I don't drink. If you find that you need a program and all that . . . well good for you. At this point in my life . . . I don't. Sorry if that offends you. Again Rue, I wish you and everyone else success in fighting alcoholism in whatever way they choose. I would like to point out to you that you are working a program of some sort, whether or not you choose to believe it. Your posting on this site, which is a recovery forum for alcoholism, and in your own way, your seeking some form of support from others. Are you not? What other purpose could you have for being here? I don't believe that I can do this on my own, and if you thought you could you never would have started this thread. Again, best wishes. |
BHF, I started this thread to share my experience. If posting here means that I am 'working a program' then I am! I don't care. I'm sober. And happy. Finally. I wish you and everyone else the same. Life is soooooo much better sober.! |
I heard an alcoholic is someone who has lost the ability to control their drinking. I could stop anytime I wanted. The problem was, I couldn't stop starting. That being said, congrats on 5 months. If you ever find yourself unable to stop and STAY stopped, AA will be there. |
If you feel you can not offer support to a member...it's not necessary to reply to them. This knocking each other is not acceptable. Post that did so have been removed...others who quoted them or were redundant are also gone. Here is our SR Posting Rule 4...and it is mandatory... 4. No Flaming: Posting of any content with the intention of disrupting the forum or inflaming members-be it on someone's person, religious beliefs, race, national background, sexual orientation, or recovery program. This includes flaming, flame baiting, registration of multiple accounts or impersonation of another member. Do not Harass, threaten, embarrass or cause distress or discomfort upon another Online Forum participant. This includes flaming on our forums or other public forums. No posts that attack, insult, "flame", defame, or abuse members or non-members. Respect other members of the community and don’t belittle, make fun of, or insult another member or non-member. Decisions about health and recovery are highly personal, individual choices. "Flaming" and insults, however, will not be tolerated. Agree to disagree. This applies to both the forums and chat. Ignore bothersome members. If there is someone on the forum that bothers you, select the Ignore option on the drop down menu under their name on the post. You won't see any posts from this member again. |
Originally Posted by ru12
(Post 2973772)
BHF, I started this thread to share my experience. If posting here means that I am 'working a program' then I am! I don't care. I'm sober. And happy. Finally. I wish you and everyone else the same. Life is soooooo much better sober.! Like I said in a earlier reply, I'm an AA'er, but this is one of the things I love about SR - I get to hear all sorts of recovery stories and I especially like the positive ones b/c it shows that we can and do recover. ...and you are living proof :) Kjell~ |
Sorry Carol et al. I shouldn't have responded the way that I did. Perhaps I'm still a bit tender in my sobriety. And you know what . . . I may go back to AA for the fellowship. I kind of like just hanging out with sober people. Thanks k. |
Congrats, RU12! Carol hit the nail on the head... whatever keeps you sober is a wonderful thing. |
Whatever works for you, works. Not everyone needs AA. I like it, it helps me. I think that for some people it is the only way to live sober, but obviously that isn't true for everyone. I hope your success continues. |
FLAMER. Sorry. I wanted to point out some "resentments" that I was interpreting in this post. In my FLAME, I myself was being resentful and judgemental. As an AA'er, I try to sit back, take it in, and not respond with the first thing that comes to my mind. Usually easy, but in "internet" communication, the anonymous nature sometimes brings out the "resenter" in all of us. Step 10 folks, step 10. Sorry. |
The battle between non AA'ers and AA'er goes way back...everyone feels passionate for what works for them..and that's great! do what works...there is nothing written in stone! I've done a few different things these past 16 months, and I'm happy to report I am sober! :) and I do consider myself an alcoholic...but I don't let it define who I am....I am so much more....as all of you are!! :) |
It is Friday and the weather is beautiful outsite. I'm glad I'll be sober so I can enjoy it! Have a great weekend all! |
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