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I had another close call yesterday. As some of you know, my grandfather passed away at the age of 86 on Sunday, and it's made me depressed and I've fought off a lot of urges but today was the closest that I have come. I had to get a haircut for the funeral so I went out. Anyway, there's a place that I like to go to get my haircut so I was going there. Of course, right next to it is a liquor. Anyway I was driving a long and all of the sudden my mind started playing tricks with me saying "You've got money, and know how to sneak it into the house. Go on ahead." I started to slow down but then stepped on the gas and sped passed it. My mind screamed "NOOOO! What are you doing? You idiot." I let a sigh of relief. Later, my sister and mom left to go to another recieving of friends and my dad was with my grandmother and aunt as they recieved friends. My mind again started talking "Nobodys here. Say your going for cigarettes and go get you some vodka." I fought that urge off and just went to sleep. When I woke up my mom and sister were home and it was time for the liquor stores to close. Another day sober, another day won. |
Good job Chris. Remember your Grandfather wouldn't want you to drink either. |
Sorry to know your Grandfather is no longer here...:hug: When old loved ones die..I think of it this way...they just wore out these tired old worldly shells and their spirits are free to float away...leaving warm memories with us. Your family needs you with them...sober and with a clear mind. Good to know you passed up the drinking....:yup: |
Sorry to hear about your Grandfather RecoveringChris. Good for you in recognizing the alcoholic voice trying to pull you back. You did the right thing! Best Wishes To You |
Great job. Each time you suppress that little voice in your head it gets quieter and quieter. I am sorry for your loss, but you are gaining strength from the choices you are making. |
Just a little update: What Ethos said is right. While these "voices" are still hammering me as the days pass by it's not as strong. Edit - Its also becoming apparent that water and coffee are becoming my new alcohol. |
Prayers for you and your family in this difficult time......... This may be an odd thing to say, but I think grief can be looked at in a positive way as well as a negative...... We grieve because we care. It shows us we're capable of loving. I agree with Ethos too - getting through a tough time gives alcohol a little less power over us. Stay strong and remember to take it one day at a time!happyface: |
Sorry to hear about your loss, but am glad for you resolve! I too lost my grandfather, 96, this past winter and it was very difficult to not drink. We are a drinking family and had a reception after the funeral and I found it easier to have a virgin bloody Mary, rather than explain myself to my relatives that I am not drinking. I made it through just as you did, with inner strength. Once again sorry for your loss, "What a beautiful day Lookin back and thinkin bout the people that I'm missin You can hear 'em in the breeze and the trees if ya listen Some are in the ground and some are in prison Now I remember momma hangin clothes on the line Way back before I opened my mind And got hip to the guilt, hard times, and fear And I'm just damn glad to be here" From the song Welcome Home by Rehab |
So sorry for your loss. |
I'm sorry for the loss of your Grandfather. I have found that getting through the tough times is the way to get stronger. Good for you for getting through that time and moving forward with your recovery. |
Prayers out for your grandfather. |
UPDATE: I've been very agitated for the last hour or so. I've been sitting here, cooped up in this house all day long. I've had to deal with my grandfather passing last week and then I went straight back to work and worked for a full week so today is my first day off in awhile. Of course, on my day off, a so called "bad storm" that these weather people are talking about is supposed to hit us and....nothing is happening. Just a little wind. I've got to do something to get my mind off drinking. I was planning to get out but I can't because of this "bad storm". There's nothing to do around the house to catch my interest. :c004: |
Get out and take a walk! Bring an umbrella, you won't melt. That never fails to make me feel better. GG |
Re:I had another close call yesterday.
Originally Posted by RecoveringChris
(Post 2924986)
As some of you know, my grandfather passed away at the age of 86 on Sunday, and it's made me depressed and I've fought off a lot of urges but today was the closest that I have come. I had to get a haircut for the funeral so I went out. Anyway, there's a place that I like to go to get my haircut so I was going there. Of course, right next to it is a liquor. Anyway I was driving a long and all of the sudden my mind started playing tricks with me saying "You've got money, and know how to sneak it into the house. Go on ahead." I started to slow down but then stepped on the gas and sped passed it. My mind screamed "NOOOO! What are you doing? You idiot." I let a sigh of relief. Later, my sister and mom left to go to another recieving of friends and my dad was with my grandmother and aunt as they recieved friends. My mind again started talking "Nobodys here. Say your going for cigarettes and go get you some vodka." I fought that urge off and just went to sleep. When I woke up my mom and sister were home and it was time for the liquor stores to close. Another day sober, another day won. ~God bless~ |
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