I had another close call yesterday.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 28
I had another close call yesterday.
As some of you know, my grandfather passed away at the age of 86 on Sunday, and it's made me depressed and I've fought off a lot of urges but today was the closest that I have come. I had to get a haircut for the funeral so I went out. Anyway, there's a place that I like to go to get my haircut so I was going there. Of course, right next to it is a liquor. Anyway I was driving a long and all of the sudden my mind started playing tricks with me saying "You've got money, and know how to sneak it into the house. Go on ahead." I started to slow down but then stepped on the gas and sped passed it. My mind screamed "NOOOO! What are you doing? You idiot." I let a sigh of relief.
Later, my sister and mom left to go to another recieving of friends and my dad was with my grandmother and aunt as they recieved friends. My mind again started talking "Nobodys here. Say your going for cigarettes and go get you some vodka." I fought that urge off and just went to sleep. When I woke up my mom and sister were home and it was time for the liquor stores to close. Another day sober, another day won.
Later, my sister and mom left to go to another recieving of friends and my dad was with my grandmother and aunt as they recieved friends. My mind again started talking "Nobodys here. Say your going for cigarettes and go get you some vodka." I fought that urge off and just went to sleep. When I woke up my mom and sister were home and it was time for the liquor stores to close. Another day sober, another day won.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Sorry to know your Grandfather is no longer here...
When old loved ones die..I think of it this way...they just
wore out these tired old worldly shells and their
spirits are free to float away...leaving warm memories with us.
Your family needs you with them...sober and with a clear mind.
Good to know you passed up the drinking....
When old loved ones die..I think of it this way...they just
wore out these tired old worldly shells and their
spirits are free to float away...leaving warm memories with us.
Your family needs you with them...sober and with a clear mind.
Good to know you passed up the drinking....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 28
Just a little update: What Ethos said is right. While these "voices" are still hammering me as the days pass by it's not as strong.
Edit - Its also becoming apparent that water and coffee are becoming my new alcohol.
Edit - Its also becoming apparent that water and coffee are becoming my new alcohol.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Prayers for you and your family in this difficult time.........
This may be an odd thing to say, but I think grief can be looked at in a positive way as well as a negative...... We grieve because we care. It shows us we're capable of loving.
I agree with Ethos too - getting through a tough time gives alcohol a little less power over us. Stay strong and remember to take it one day at a time!
This may be an odd thing to say, but I think grief can be looked at in a positive way as well as a negative...... We grieve because we care. It shows us we're capable of loving.
I agree with Ethos too - getting through a tough time gives alcohol a little less power over us. Stay strong and remember to take it one day at a time!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Maryland
Posts: 259
Sorry to hear about your loss, but am glad for you resolve!
I too lost my grandfather, 96, this past winter and it was very difficult to not drink.
We are a drinking family and had a reception after the funeral and I found it easier to have a virgin bloody Mary, rather than explain myself to my relatives that I am not drinking. I made it through just as you did, with inner strength.
Once again sorry for your loss,
"What a beautiful day
Lookin back and thinkin bout the people that I'm missin
You can hear 'em in the breeze and the trees if ya listen
Some are in the ground and some are in prison
Now I remember momma hangin clothes on the line
Way back before I opened my mind
And got hip to the guilt, hard times, and fear
And I'm just damn glad to be here"
From the song Welcome Home by Rehab
I too lost my grandfather, 96, this past winter and it was very difficult to not drink.
We are a drinking family and had a reception after the funeral and I found it easier to have a virgin bloody Mary, rather than explain myself to my relatives that I am not drinking. I made it through just as you did, with inner strength.
Once again sorry for your loss,
"What a beautiful day
Lookin back and thinkin bout the people that I'm missin
You can hear 'em in the breeze and the trees if ya listen
Some are in the ground and some are in prison
Now I remember momma hangin clothes on the line
Way back before I opened my mind
And got hip to the guilt, hard times, and fear
And I'm just damn glad to be here"
From the song Welcome Home by Rehab
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,469
I'm sorry for the loss of your Grandfather.
I have found that getting through the tough times is the way to get stronger. Good for you for getting through that time and moving forward with your recovery.
I have found that getting through the tough times is the way to get stronger. Good for you for getting through that time and moving forward with your recovery.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 28
UPDATE: I've been very agitated for the last hour or so. I've been sitting here, cooped up in this house all day long. I've had to deal with my grandfather passing last week and then I went straight back to work and worked for a full week so today is my first day off in awhile. Of course, on my day off, a so called "bad storm" that these weather people are talking about is supposed to hit us and....nothing is happening. Just a little wind. I've got to do something to get my mind off drinking. I was planning to get out but I can't because of this "bad storm". There's nothing to do around the house to catch my interest.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Wappingers Falls, NY
Posts: 618
Re:I had another close call yesterday.
Originally Posted by RecoveringChris 
As some of you know, my grandfather passed away at the age of 86 on Sunday, and it's made me depressed and I've fought off a lot of urges but today was the closest that I have come. I had to get a haircut for the funeral so I went out. Anyway, there's a place that I like to go to get my haircut so I was going there. Of course, right next to it is a liquor. Anyway I was driving a long and all of the sudden my mind started playing tricks with me saying "You've got money, and know how to sneak it into the house. Go on ahead." I started to slow down but then stepped on the gas and sped passed it. My mind screamed "NOOOO! What are you doing? You idiot." I let a sigh of relief.
Later, my sister and mom left to go to another recieving of friends and my dad was with my grandmother and aunt as they recieved friends. My mind again started talking "Nobodys here. Say your going for cigarettes and go get you some vodka." I fought that urge off and just went to sleep. When I woke up my mom and sister were home and it was time for the liquor stores to close. Another day sober, another day won.
Later, my sister and mom left to go to another recieving of friends and my dad was with my grandmother and aunt as they recieved friends. My mind again started talking "Nobodys here. Say your going for cigarettes and go get you some vodka." I fought that urge off and just went to sleep. When I woke up my mom and sister were home and it was time for the liquor stores to close. Another day sober, another day won.
~God bless~
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