I am also an alcoholic but I can honestly tell you that I never drank at work. I saw no point in that. If I can't focus to even type one sentence what's the point in drinking.

When I escalated my drinking was after I lost my job. Then got a job that paid half of what I was use to then on top of that being diagnosed with two cancers for the duration of treatment I had to stay at home. No limitations to how much or when I could drink. But never at work. Honestly, it just seemed pointless. Why be sleepy and brain dead while trying to do your job.

ALTHOUGH, working with lawyers for over 14 years, I can tell you that in that profession 50% of them drink during their working hours. I had one lawyer that would put up a sign on his door after coming back from lunch "do not disturb". He was passed out after drinking at lunch. One other one I worked for, every single day he passed by me on his way to his office and "reekeed" of alcohol. Lawyers are a "strange" breed indeed.

Kiki,

I never drank on the job either, nor did I drink before going into work...by the Grace of God that was a line I hadn't yet crossed. Also, by the Grace of God, I have never had to stop working as a nurse or change my position. I know how blessed I am and I am truly grateful.

kiki and anyone else reading this who may feel the same as kiki,

I'm sincerely sorry if my story stirred any discomfort for you. I sit here at a loss at how to reassure you that - like Mark said - "impaired HCP stick out." I will also add that those who did stick out where I worked (it happened twice with alcohol that I know of in all my years there) were confronted.

I worked in an intense environment. It's so difficult to explain the skill, knowledge and experience needed to do the type of work I did in this ICU. I had to take very small amounts of my doc just to feel normal. I worked 12 hour shifts and if I didn't take something withdrawals would start (usually with my bowels). I know I was never "high." Heck, I wasn't high for the last two years of my 6 years of use.

I hope I don't sound defensive because you have a completely legitimate concern. I would be more concerned of a medication error or if my nurse has enough support to do his/her job or that my nurse has had a break or day off recently or is not pulling his/her 4th or 5th 16 hour shift attempting to deliver quality care to a patient load that is actually doable and being respected, appreciated and compensated for such.

I plan to continue working in nursing. It's what I do and not because I like to help people, (I do), but because a long time ago I learned that my knowledge, experience and skill are what saves and improves the lives of those in my care. Sometimes that knowledge, experience and skill helps others go when it's their time. First and foremost I am a patient advocate. I always excelled at what I did. Now I'm learning to excel at being me. :)

Don't worry about it! It was more of an after thought, not that I was really freaken over it. Actually all the nurses that I had were SUPER. I mean they were like angels to me.

When you're feeling so "helpless" every kind smile and word feels like a blessing. I made them laugh with my jokes, they tried to consol me when I cried. Especially after I was told I had to wear a colostomy bag while going through chemo for colon cancer. The nurses were extremely sensitive and kind.

Thank you!

I was/am in a professionals program whose major population is health care workers. It is in Chicago and I highly recommend it. If you would like to know more then PM me. It was created by an addict doctor and has counselors that are specialized to work with medical people. It also includes people that can deal with any license issues.

Anew......

one of AA's founders was a Doctor, and everyone knew who he was, what he was, what he became in AA and so forth..... for Dr Bob, anonymity wasn't an easy task.

I don't know IF you're in AA or not but I can tell you shame was a big one for me. Not regular shame - like being ashamed of things I did. I had some of that but it wasn't that big of a deal, and besides, "shame" isn't necessarily a bad thing - some shame is healthy. I, however, lived in shame... aka "toxic shame" all the time. I hated myself, didn't respect myself, didn't even really like myself.... I'm not sure if that's where you are but anyway........ working the steps was the ONLY thing I've ever been through that made a noticeable dent in that shame I carried around with me.

I see that your sobriety date is pretty recent so, if you're just starting out, it's "white knuckling" time until you can find a sponsor and get into the steps as fast as you can. Obviously, we don't recommend taking your time or lolly-gagging around. :)

I'ts a bit different but I'm sure you'd get a lot from Jack C from Haggerstown, MD's open talk. It looks like XA is down at the moment but check out: www.xa-speakers.org do a search for Jack C and download his talk.

---we're all folks who would not ordinarily mix. You'll find Docs, nurses, attorneys, judges, cops, priests, nuns, homelsss ppl, business execs, housewives, teenagers in middle school, etc etc etc etc in AA meetings....

It hits anyone. And as you'll come to find out, for the real alcoholic (aka chronic alcoholic) alcoholism is not rooted in a drinking problem. The drinking is just the outward manifestation of an internal problem(s).

Thanks. I have been sober and in recovery for just over a year, I am a member of AA, I have a sponsor and have worked through the steps....though, admittedly, I have alot more work to do on my resentments.

Thanks again.

Hi, me again
just for the record l wanted to add l never drank at work or compromised patient care, l maintained professional conduct at all times. l resigned from my previous position to work in the Rehab clinic.

I suggest you check out page 552 in our BB and follow
the directions. I've had to do them more than once
sometimes....:)

Congratulations on your recovery time..:funjump:

I'm an RN in a monitoring program. I tried to not deprive anyone of pain meds but I'm sure in my worst insanity I did and I took pills meant for my hubby without his knowledge so Yeah I feel the shame, the stigma but it happens and the biggest challenge is forgiving yourself. I have found if I acknowledge my issues honestly and openly and don't hide it but treat it just as any event that people tend to accept my attitude about being open in a postive way, it's when I act as if it's a horrible shame that people respond to the vibes I send out. I still struggle and I hate being labeled but it is a consequence I'm working on, it's good you're here, it's tough to be in a monitoring program, I've got hopefully about less than a year of it left but I've learned I never ever want to repeat this pain again. I believe I'm done with addiction but it's going to be a part of who I am forever. It's going to be okay and glad you're here.