Originally Posted by ChangeIsGood123 (Post 2761401)

I really need some help/advice on a situation that I have. I will try to keep it short. I am sober almost a year, 11/21 will be one year. Previously I had made it over a year, about the same time and slipped up.

The night before I decided to try sobriety again, my boyfriend and I went out. Of course, I drank too much and so did he. He decided that we should walk home from the bar (not too long of a walk but when you are really drunk and in very high heels its not too easy). Well, being my usually stupid drunkin self, I decided I could not walk anymore. He got angry, desperate to get us home and was drunk himself and I guess just lost it because of how I was acting. He started pushing me and pulling me, pretty much dragging me across the grass and sidewalk, really not giving me much of a chance to get up. I tried to go to someones house and get help, but of course they would not answer (who would really cant blame them). I had bruises on my arms and was all dirty and muddy. I did manage to flag down a car, who turned out to be an off duty cop. Told him what happened, he called locals, brought me home and I went to stay with my parents for the night. I personally view this as abuse regardless of how drunk I was. This man has never ever done this before and has not since. While I do know that acohol can make us do things we never would, coming up the anniversary of this time, I am harboring resentment and cannot let go of it. Its hard because this is also a time I should be happy to have a year of sobriety.

At the same time, I feel as though maybe my drinking contributed to it? Is there anyone else who thinks that maybe their drinking contributed to someone elses behavior? I am also angry at myself for staying because I always said I would never let anyone do that to me.

Thank you all for reading if you do and just being here. Even feels good just to post.

Originally Posted by ChangeIsGood123 (Post 2761401)

I really need some help/advice on a situation that I have. I will try to keep it short. I am sober almost a year, 11/21 will be one year. Previously I had made it over a year, about the same time and slipped up.

The night before I decided to try sobriety again, my boyfriend and I went out. Of course, I drank too much and so did he. He decided that we should walk home from the bar (not too long of a walk but when you are really drunk and in very high heels its not too easy). Well, being my usually stupid drunkin self, I decided I could not walk anymore. He got angry, desperate to get us home and was drunk himself and I guess just lost it because of how I was acting. He started pushing me and pulling me, pretty much dragging me across the grass and sidewalk, really not giving me much of a chance to get up. I tried to go to someones house and get help, but of course they would not answer (who would really cant blame them). I had bruises on my arms and was all dirty and muddy. I did manage to flag down a car, who turned out to be an off duty cop. Told him what happened, he called locals, brought me home and I went to stay with my parents for the night. I personally view this as abuse regardless of how drunk I was. This man has never ever done this before and has not since. While I do know that acohol can make us do things we never would, coming up the anniversary of this time, I am harboring resentment and cannot let go of it. Its hard because this is also a time I should be happy to have a year of sobriety.

At the same time, I feel as though maybe my drinking contributed to it? Is there anyone else who thinks that maybe their drinking contributed to someone elses behavior? I am also angry at myself for staying because I always said I would never let anyone do that to me.

Thank you all for reading if you do and just being here. Even feels good just to post.

Originally Posted by ChangeIsGood123 (Post 2763080)

I do know and he knows that his actions that night were unacceptable. He has indicated to me many times that he was so panicked and afraid that he just wanted to get us home and I was like sitting down on the grass refusing to go anywhere, apparantly I was hysterical (we were walking along a main road near our home). I know my behavior that night was not acceptable either, which is why I now do not drink now. But it does not excuse his. Two wrongs do not make a right as they say. Over these last few days I have been able to kind of start a process of forgiving. Its funny because just talking to him about it has helped. I know it is not something he will ever to again. I just wanted to clarify that this is not a situation of repeated abuse. And I am very excited that I will be going to my first AA meeting on Friday, after a year. I really think it will help me with everything.