Be careful. . .i always thought i was still being a good mom. And for the most part I was. But alcohol did affect my parenting as the kids got older. I am sober now, and doing better. But, without going into personal details, i am suffering for the time being as a result of something that happened more than four months ago.

Get sober. Your child needs you to be.

Okay, so I have to own up here. I laughed when I read this hmmmmmm.

Normal alcoholics, including me and my wife, and others that I know, do have conversations like this. You and your husband are not soooooo unique.

"Discussing where the alcohol is cuz we were too drunk to remember, and instead of taking that as a sign to stop drinking, discuss getting more!!!!

Yup, that's what we here in AA call post signs. Why do we miss them? There out there, in blinking neon lights, 12 foot letters and all, and we miss them, why? My own opinion is, I'm an alcoholic, and at the time an active one at that. About the only signs I could see were "Alcohol served here.," "liquor store," "get beer here."

I remember the empty feeling I had in my gut one day at work when I dropped my pint of vodka on the floor and it broke. I didn't have any more money and still had six hours to go before I could get home to what I had there.

Eventually I found a way out and was told I never had to feel that way again. I found it in AA. And I found a new way to live life in the 12 Steps.

Keep coming Irish and keep posting.

Harry

That's why *I* only bought the PLASTIC pint bottles. :)

Social anxiety! Yup, most definetely had it. Still do, but it pales in comparison to when I was drinking.

I went to my first meeting last night and it was wayyyy better than I expected. Went to a women's group and looked around.... they all looked just like me....even though they were young, old, black, white, asian and hispanic, housewives, executives, working stiffs, teachers, single, married, divorced. They were all ME.

I was glad to be there. I was made to feel very welcome and cared for. I look forward to going back.

I'm on Day 3.

I keep a reminder on my wall, by the door, to remind me of the pain drinking causes me.
Although I've ignored it a few times (and drank anyway), I have found it mostly helpful.

Thank you, all of you. Yeah. I need to get myself to a meeting. This thing is beating my butt.

I'm a parent getting sober without AA (at this point, anyway). I just wanted to say that it's so worth it.

No more skipping pages of books to get back to my glass of wine.
No more feeling frustrated when they won't go to bed because I want to drink.
No more hangovers robbing them of pleasant mornings.
No more wondering when they start to remember things (even writing that makes me cringe).
No more worrying that they're learning how to cope with anxiety the same way I learned.

re: relationships. My husband and I drank together, too. I would consider myself an alcoholic and him a heavy drinker. He has quit, too (I am pregnant). It's not all roses but it's REAL. I think we'll be OK.

Just wanted to add that AA or some kind of formal recovery 'plan' or work is essential, IMO. This will be my 3rd child so I've been a 'dry' parent before but it was a completely different experience than now as I really work on recovery. I'm not counting down 9 months until I can get back to 'real' life. This is real life. Sometimes painful, often stressful and tiring. But CLEAR as day. And quite breathtaking in it's complexity :)

You can do it!

Hi, Irisheyes. AA is a program of ACTION. As a thinking person, I discovered that I could live life in my head and adapt to what I found there most of the time. The actual PRACTICE of living was a good deal different, however, and I drank because people didn't actually DO what I had planned.
Recovery requires doing the steps--actually implementing suggestions and achieving the same results others achieved. Saying I gotta don't milk the cow. A simple program for complicated people, and that includes the people trying to think themselves into another space. If telepathy worked, I'd have gotten sober long ago.

Git outta the haid an' inna the meetin'....

I know exactly what you mean. I don't want my son, even though he's just 2, to witness the actual act of consuming alcohol. I don't want him to remember that.

I loved being pregnant. I felt so healthy without alcohol in my system. I actually lost weight in the beginning! But maaaaannn I couldn't wait to have those first drinks after we got home from the hospital. I don't know...maybe i should just pretend i'm pregnant. It gave me some super power to abstain.

You quit then for the baby...do it now for you! We mothers always think of ourselves last.