Gashed my forehead open and remembered none of it. Woke up to blood everywhere and puke in the bathroom sink. I walked to the ER drunk (it was close to my apartment) and got stitched up.

Punched a wall broke my hand, ended having surgery and 2 long pins stuck in it along with 7 weeks of therapy. Or was it the time that I tried to open my car door with my cell phone, or maybe the time that I ended up sleeping in my friends car outside his house instead of going inside, because I couldn't remember where he lived when the car was parked in the driveway.

I don't know, way too many to remember

Had 3 screws put in my ankle, cuz I was racing my drunk brother up a hill with a 50lb backpack on my back. Got too close to the edge and ended up breaking my ankle 2 miles up a mountain. I had to be carried down the hill by firefigters who knew I was drunk, so i got no pity from them.

Almost sliced my finger off as I was trying to slash my neighbor's tire.....I can't remember why she made me mad, but I wanted her to be stuck in the morning while trying to take her kids to school.

Poured red dye in her washing machine where her children's school uniforms were being washed.

I have broken into countless houses while drunk to steal prescription meds. I must think I am invisible when I am drunk, because I will walk down the street with a spatula in my hand so I can shove it in someone's door to open it.

Tried crawling through the neighbor's dog door to steal drugs. Got stuck, backed myself out and went home empty handed. Shortly after that one, they came over with a key to their house so I could feed their dogs when they are gone. I thought that was a sign from God that He wants me to take their drugs.

As I am stealing their medications (pain pills) I get all puffed up thinking that I am keeping them from becoming an addict like I am, so I will take the bullet here.

It's so nice to not have to check my sent file to see who I have blased via e-mail the night before.

Crashed my car into a curb at about 35mph driving back to the bar I'd just left. Just about ripped off the front wheel. I drove it home. All I remember is hearing all sorts of loud banging and could barely steer. Police showed up at my house about 10 min after I got home. Probably should have gone to jail that night.

Falling from an articulated ladder perched on top of a second floor fire escape. One night when I decided it was a good time to put up an antenna. Landed on the driveway below flat on my back about two feet from the hood of a car. Got up, went back upstairs had at least another drink, and went to bed. Woke up with a splitting headache and the entire right side of my body bruised. Probably should have died that night.

Too many falls and waking up on the floor with my cat looking at me episodes to mention.

knowing what I know now

The dum-est thing I could do?


Picking up that first drink. :dig

I did the same thing one time. I had already drank a twelve pack and drove into the city to get more...DUH!! I hit the curb, blew a tire, did $1400.00 damage to the front end. I pulled into a store parking lot to change the tire and a city cop was inside the whole time talking to the clerk. Glad he didn't come out to assist me...HA! I just went to another store and got another twelve pack, then limped the car home. What a dumbass!

One morning I woke up in the landladys apartment. I had been sleeping on her couch wearing nothing but my underwear........................

1. Writing "text (my boyfriend's number) and tell him he's a ********" on approximately 50 little sheets of paper and throwing them in the air right in the middle of Waterloo Train Station in London
2. Any Facebook activity while drunk. It is just horrendous. Despicable. And unfortunately, there for EVERYONE to see.
3. Going to Bournemouth Airport pissed out of my head and requesting a one-way ticket to Paris....
4. Going to bed in my suitcase, while simultaneously using a full bin bag as a pillow
5. Walking into the building of a well known TV channel thinking it's a hotel, requesting room 213 just "so I can use the loo please"
Oh and my drunk alter egos
1. "The journalist": I had the habit of pretending to be a journalist in order to follow newly formed indie bands around after their gigs. Thankfully, they were usually as ****** up as me
2. "The professional photographer": I cannot tell you how many numbers of complete strangers I have in my BlackBerry just because of the following opening line: "Hello, I am a professional photographer, I would like you to participate in my upcoming photo shoot. Would you give me your number so that I can contact you?"

Well, not the stupidest but the one that I laugh about now was leaving a bar in the middle of a Michigan February (very cold) taking my shirt off, started yelling that I was a Viking, laid down in the middle of a fortunately unbusy street. My friends had to drag me off because I was too dumb. When I did get up I just kept yelling "pillage and plunder!"

The dumbest things I ever did was not believe people when I was a kid about how destructive alcohol and drugs are. Anyways, I was brought into the emergency room by the police who found me staggering around the city threatening random people. The police and emergency room doctor argued over whose responsibility I was. They both knew me quite well and neither wanted to deal with me.

This just strikes me as really pathetic for some reason-- I was enraged at my friend for nothing at all and apparently I decided the best way to deal with this was to pick up a tennis ball and throw it at him. According to the 20 or so people in the room who had already gathered just to stare at me, I missed by a lot. I was blacked out, but just picturing myself trying to throw something and failing so miserably makes me sad.

I also tried to pay off an organization's drinking ticket (which was 100% my fault) with sexual favors because a guy said I "owed them $1500 in **** ****" and I believed him. Then went downstairs to join the party, apparently blacked out right before everyone else went to sleep, and we've deduced that I drank a bottle of this weird blue stuff by myself for 4 hours before I woke up from my blackout at 8 am and wondered where everybody was.

There's some funny stuff too, but those two incidents strike me as particularly sad.

Once, after a very long binge I decided (while living in MI) that I wanted to move to Chicago, so drunkly I signed a 2 mnth lease...without knowing it.. whoops!

Best drunken mistake I made, because living here has changed my life

Lifted my Top too many times to count (when I was not at Mardi Gras or in Key West).

WAY too flirtatious with Men who were with Wives/Girlfriends and started monumental fights, just b/c it was funny. I'm lucky I never got my a** kicked!

Not remembering why I made the person I love more than anything cry b/c of my verbal and sometimes physical attacks ( for no reason)...

Oh I could go on and on.

Everything I did was stupid and I hate to remember it all, but I can never completely forget and that is kind of punishment itself..

Smoking a cigarette on the balconey in the middle of the night, dressed in my skivvies and a size 3 child's sweater. Vaguley remember it. SO glad that's not life anymore. ;)

*Riding a mechanical bull in a bar, blissfully unaware that I was facing backwards until someone pointed it out afterwards. I couldn't understand the hysterical laughter coming from the crowd.

*During a cocktail party in my country's embassy in Moscow, I took the embassador's dog out for a walk in the garden, stepped in dogshit, urinated on the flowers and passed out in a white antique sofa in my dirty shoes.

*Drinking Tommy Hilfiger aftershave for the fun of it.

*Passing out in the sidewalk in front of the motel that I was staying, in a temperature of 5 degrees Fahrenheit. Fortunately a kind man came to my rescue.

-Drank until I got alcoholic hepatitis. Then went back to drinking once I got better. (I list this first since it was the dumbest, lol.)

-Screamed my head off how many times at my Alcoholic boyfriend. I'm sure the neighbors thought we were nuts.

-Drunk cried in public. Many times.

-Drove drunk. Did some pretty bad curbing the wheels but nothing worse thank goodness.

-Drank at lunch at went back to work. MANY times.

-Spent all my savings on booze.

-Not take care of my pets and neglect them so I could go out and get drunk everyday.

wow you jumped out of a moving vehichle too!!!!

when i got my dui the cop told me to take steps right foot first and count to 9
i started walking and counting when i got to 29 he told me i could stop now and i was just trying to get some steps in to run i guess dunno