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Did you or do you lie about how much you drank/drink? Hi everyone! I have not posted in a while, but here I am again. I'm making this thread in an attempt to keep my mind right and stay sober. You can get a synopsis of my boozing story in my profile. In short, drinking is driving my blood pressure up, with my bottom number at times exceeding 100, so I can't keep screwing around with my health if I want to live. I finally got that screaming chest pain that drove me to the doctor and woke me up. Turns out my heart is OK according to the nuclear stress test, but it scared me pretty good so I've been completely sober for 5 weeks now and intend to remain sober. It dawned on me some years ago that most heavy drinkers lie about how much they drink, so I made it a point to admit how much I drank even during my years of hard drinking. I figured why not own up to it, right? I would drink ususlly from 8 to 12 beers at each sitting, depending upon the alcohol content. About the same with hard liquor. I'd essentially drink until I had my fill, and it was time to scarf down some food and pass out. And, there were ocaisional binges where I drank more than 12 beers at a sitting. Seems I hammered down 30 beers on a saturday afternoon more than once too. In my recent drinking history, I mostly confined my boozing to weekends, but like I said above, my health is suffering from it and I have to stop if I want to live to enjoy my retirement years. I was getting a check up about 10 years ago, and was conversing with my doctor, who paid his way through medical school playing in a band in bars. He told me how much he and his buddies used to drink, and that some of his friends did not stop, and ultimately got cirrosis and died or were about to die. I asked him how much these friends drank and he said "a six-pack a day". I said well, I reckon I'm screwed, cause I drank a 12 pack a day for years and still drink 8-12 beers at a typical sitting. I bet that you could take the amount people tell their doctors they drink and double it and you'd be pretty close to the truth. I just took a survey here: If I drink alcohol, How Much is Too Much? www.AlcoholScreening.org Interesting site. I put my boozing information in honestly for the past year. My result was: Many people are not aware of how their alcohol consumption compares to that of the general public. More than 96% of the general adult American population and 93% of men consume fewer drinks per week than you reported consuming. Anyhoo, thanks for letting me vent and sharing your opinions and thoughts on this subject. |
I was involved in a couple of college surveys about alcohol and drug use. It was discovered that a) most college students lied about how much they drank (and not always saying they drank less--often times, they reported they drank more) and b) they believed others to consume more than they actually did (maybe because everyone was lying about it?). Me? I lied about my drinking, too, usually under-reporting. Honestly? After the first dozen, it was too much trouble to keep track. Peace & Love, Sugah |
As I was mainly a bar drinker who blacked out no way I could honestly answer "How Much?" It was enough to make me detest myself. Welcome back to SR Congratulations on your early sobriety....:yup: |
Thanks for replying guys! Hey carol, I used to live in Georgia, born there and except for 4 years in the military, until 2007. Lived in greater Atlanta most of it and in the Macon area the last 10. The last, almost 4 years, in Macon were pretty wonderful years because I was sober. Screwed up and had that fatal "just one drink" out here in the party town of Norman Oklahoma celebrating a promotion...We all know how "just one" always turns out for us, don't we? Back to the lying about how much topic. I've heard so many stories about people who claim to drink little, but wind up with some form of liver disease. Some are probably true, especially for folks that try to cure hangovers with Tylenol (Acetaminophen) which can destroy your liver in short order. But I do think many folks who do know how much they drink lie to their doctors and loved one. It's just the nature of the beast. |
At first I drank my glass of wine openly, no lying or hiding it. But the day came, all too quickly, when I realized I was drinking more than just one and started lying about it and hiding the bottle(s). At that point I knew I was in trouble, tho I didn't try to quit til several months later. But I knew from my lying and hiding that I was drinking too much and that my kids would be upset if they knew. And even when they didn't know the actual amount I was drinking, they still knew I was drinking more than I let on. Daughter told me that my lying about it hurt worse than the drinking itself, cause she couldn't trust me any more. |
20's 6 to 8, 30's 12 pack was normal, late thirties, 12 to 18, more if I started earlier, I usually drank every night. I hide it many times, especially after some of my drinking buddies would say they didn’t drink every night or only had a few, I’d say, "yea, me too", then I'd go home and continue, I hid a small bottle of vodka just last Wednesday night (my last time I really hope) from my wife, finished that and a 12 pack of bud light, I am 3 days sober tonight, its scary actually talking about it or even seeing it in words writing it out about the amount I have drank or how sly I was about it. I guess those statistics will always follow a pattern in surveys like that, It’s the 20-80 principle, 20% of drinkers drink 80% of the alcohol, just as 20 of criminals commit 80% of the crimes, and 20% of the motorists have 80% of the accidents etc, etc, etc… read that in a book somewhere…, “The Tipping Point” a good book. |
i used to be my own best lab animal! Constantly pushing myself to extremes each and every day. Mixing and concocting things to take me right to the teetering edge between life & death. The amounts i used to ingest are no longer significant to me becuase i have gotten in touch with the greater damage i was causing myself on a daily basis. Drinking and drugging, i have learned, are just symptoms of a disease called addiction/alcoholism. Lying, denial, rationalization, justification, and dishonesty were all results of my self centered behavior to cover up what i was doing. i persisted in doing those things for so long that they became the defects of my character. Welcome back and i hope that you continue forward in your sobriety. |
John....I've only been a Jawja Peach for 11 years. I've been to Macon several times to attend the State AA Convention. That's an awesome experience. I became an alcoholic and started my AA recovery in D.C. spent 6 years in Pensacola ..now Dallas. The meeting sizes have changed...the accents differed but my AA committment has continued to grow. :yup: It's the wisest move I ever made. |
I was getting a check up about 10 years ago, and was conversing with my doctor, who paid his way through medical school playing in a band in bars. He told me how much he and his buddies used to drink, and that some of his friends did not stop, and ultimately got cirrosis and died or were about to die. I asked him how much these friends drank and he said "a six-pack a day". |
I don't think that people who are not alcoholics or alcohol abusers lie about how much they drink. These are normal people, and alcohol consumption just isn't that important to them. You know the type - they'll leave a half bottle of beer on the bar when it's time to go, or they'll nurse a glass of wine for an entire evening. Normal people don't think that they should learn to control their drinking, or that maybe they should try and cut back. They don't have to. So why lie? Alcoholics, on the other hand, will deny they have a drinking problem. And to support that argument they'll never admit how much they actually drink. They lie. Sorry, but alcoholics lie about their drinking because they don't want anyone to know how much they drink. If others knew, then the foundation of their denial would crumble. These are the people who have several drinks to get primed before a party because they don't want others to know how much they drink. They hide their liquor. They shop at different stores so the clerks don't become too familiar with them. Sound familiar? When I was drinking, I would claim to drink about 3 or 4 beers a day. I developed tricks to fool my wife into thinking I nursed one drink all night when I actually drank 8 or 9. When I really hit my stride I was drinking at least 1.75 ltrs of vodka a day. And all the time I lied. Like you said it's the nature of the beast. |
My case was similar to both Sugah and Joedris. If I had just 4 or 5 drinks that night, I'd indicate as much. However, whenever I happened to shoot over that level, it was a number greater than 12, and it'd be hard for me to accurately to have kept track. Hence, if I were asked, I'd indicate to my wife "oh, the usual 4 or 5 drinks" leading her to believe that I was truly a lightweight when it came to booze! |
I wrote this last week to celebrate my birthday. So, yes, I was in denial as to how much I drank for sure ...
Originally Posted by me11109
(Post 2395964)
As today is my 9 month birthday (woohoo!), I thought I would write about one of my many character defects: denial. ALKIE MATH (a.k.a. How logic began to show me that I was an alcoholic despite my denial) Back to the nightly drink … so I began to have a drink each night. It started off pretty normal – a glass of wine or two (which if you use the alcohol measuring guidelines was probably 3-4 drinks per night since I used a big glass). Then, I moved over to hard alcohol. You will laugh about the reason. While I was doing low carb, I couldn’t drink high carbohydrate beverages, so I gave up beer and wine and moved to vodka, straight. From vodka, I moved to whisky/tequila. From there, I moved to (my love) single malt scotch. Something was changing in my body. It was hard to put a finger on when it happened or how fast, but I now began to “look forward to that drink” each night. I would get home and then would pour myself the first drink. What was not obvious to me at the time was that my measurement was all screwed up. I would pull out a “small” glass (which was 8 ounces, if you measured it), and would fill it half-way with scotch. This was my “first drink”. Then, before it was empty (as it is better to have some plausible deniability to how much is left so you can’t be for sure how much you poured the second time), I would refill it up to the halfway point again. That was my “second drink”. Then, I might have a glass of wine with dinner. Occasionally, I would have a third, although this one would only be about a quarter of the glass. (Did you notice how I conveniently ignored the glass of wine in the count. If it wasn’t strong like scotch, it didn’t count as a drink.) So, by my (dishonest) calculation, this was 2.5 drinks. But, let’s do the real math (4+4+2 ounces scotch + 6 ounces of wine =scotch 10 / 1.5 and wine 6 / 4 = 6.6 + 1.5 = 8 DRINKS! And, I would go to my doctor and when he would ask how much I drank at my annual physical, I would tell him about 2 drinks a night – and I thought I was telling the truth. As if the last calculation wasn’t an early warning sign enough… The first time I began asking whether I had a problem was while I was doing the recycling. I looked at the bottle recycling one Sunday night (with a buzz, mind you) and counted the following: - 3 bottles of scotch - 3 bottles of wine - 1 bottle of tequila (We did recycling every two weeks). So I began to rationalize … the bottle of tequila had been only a third full and one of the bottles of scotch had been half-full, so “it wasn’t as bad as it looked”. Assuming I was telling the truth, let’s do the math with 1 bottle = 750 ml = ~25 ounces: 2.5 bottles of scotch = 50 ounces or 33 drinks 3 bottles of wine = 75 ounces or 19 drinks .3 bottle of tequila = 8 ounces or 5 drinks Grand Total = 57 drinks (oh, and by the way, I had also been out to a cocktail party one night that week where I had 3 drinks = 60 drinks) Comments Some people say "only 60 drinks in two weeks?", how could you be an alcoholic? And this is exactly the problem. At this level of drinking (which I believe is - at a minimum - the first stage of alcoholism), you do not get support from people around you. They just don't believe that you are an alcoholic. And so, this feeds your denial. At this stage, your drinking will only make things worse, yet you can stop the free-fall before losing your home, your job, your car, your wife, your kids, your self. All you have to do is not drink. Simple, yet so difficult. Some researchers have termed this group of alcoholics "Highly Functioning Alcoholics" (HFA's) or high-bottom alcoholics. We are just as alcoholic as everyone else and so we require the same treatment as other alcoholics. We just haven't progressed as far in our disease. Our denial is fed because we can come up with all these arguments (usually supported by those around us) that we aren't alcoholic. So, for those of you who like math, be honest and calculate the number of drinks you have on an average night of drinking. You may find an interesting result. Thanks for all your support and for listening to me ramble. NewMe |
Yeah sure i lied all the time about how much i drank, both out of embarassment and necessity...oh and denial too hehe Never counted drinks, why would i? |
I have lied to others about my consumption for years when it has been brought up, but mostly I have lied to myself trying to convince myself that I had actually drank less than what I had. Many times I looked in the recycle bin and thought OMG but yet did nothing for years just actively distributed the bottles between the neighbours recycling making mine look less full. |
No... actually I didn't. Unless it'd been so much I couldn't remember--got into the habit of keeping the receipts. Not having anybody around me in my life made it a lot easier not to deny anything... most often nobody asked/noticed. My old friends/family know I drink, and how much--never was one to hide it--and don't see it as a problem, because I still maintain my life somehow. Neighbors didn't care/drank or used more than me anyways. Near the end (?), especially, I'd be brutally honest. Ironically, this came at the expense of my credibility... I couldn't do my homework because I drank a gallon of whiskey over the weekend... They'd okay the homework thing, but told me no way I could drink a gallon of whiskey in 3 days. I get points for creative excuse... Some people I knew from work who knew I drank were stunned to find out how much... if it came up, which wasn't often. Nowadays, I do 'lie' about drinking. I try and tell people I don't, if they ask me. Don't tell them why. I figure I might either meet other sober people (haven't yet at school) or at least, there'd be some social stigma if I were to show up drunk. Been staring at this post for a couple days, wondering if I'm different again... Lady at a AA meeting once said that she had like 100 bottles hidden in her house... afraid to take them to the trash. I would have been more ashamed to have more than a couple empty bottles in the house. I suppose I just never felt the need to hide the fact that I was drinking, or how much--drugs and alcohol have always been part of my life. Strangely, I denied going to school for almost 2 years--well at least I lied by ommission... that wasn't something anyone asked me about either. -TB |
I hid my drinking, which is the same as lying about it. I also told medical professionals I drank much less than I actually did. Not anymore, I tell them I'm a recovered alcoholic. |
l lied and cheated about everything. Was pretty good at it too. For as long as it lasted.... “It's discouraging to think how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.” Noel Coward |
I hid my drinking in many ways. 1-take empty bottle to dumpster ASAP/as soon as I leave the apt. so I don't have to see it in the kitchen bin 2-bury bottles in the garbage if I can't take the garbage out right then and take garbage out in the morning (full or not) 3-go to different liquor store than where first bottle was purchased so clerk doesn't know how much I really drink 4-go to different liquor store on different nights so clerk doesn't know I drink every single night 5-tell friends when I'm drunk "Wow, I've only had 2 glasses of wine" Not letting on that I had a bottle before I met them at the bar 6-Leaving get togethers so I could go home and get a bottle and get smashed alone. I couldn't do this comfortably with other people around. 7-Dr asks, "How much do you drink?" and I answer "1 or 2 glasses of wine a night". Should've said "At least 1 or 2 glasses of wine a night". I'm sure there's more...... |
I always knew how much I was drinking, in terms of units. By the end it was 13 units as "baseline", with potential to top up by another 4-6 units. This was all within about 2 hours in the evening. I always told doctors & online surveys how much I was drinking, by the end the doctors were arranging for rehab for me (though I got sober just through AA). I could never be honest with my wife though, at most admitting to having a couple of drinks... |
Bjork, a wonderful recap. I achieved Day 1 yesterday so am feeling proud and extremely humble when I read posts here and contemplate the arduous journey ahead. I'd totally given up trying but realize that my under-reporting in my own brain, let alone what I tell the doctor, is only damaging my health. 30 years of daily wine (ever had the terrors that you'll actually encounter someone you know at the recycling center as you tip the empties into the dumpsters?? Hoping to finally, at 47, attend to matters. Am not a religious person and live somewhere where AA access is very hard (rural...plus an alcoholic husband,so ..) so am hoping for some guidance and support here at SR. |
Hello to you in London; saw the "units" reference and realized I was reading a fellow-Brit - though I've lived in the States for many years. To US friends (some in recovery) I've always somewhat blamed the English culture as well as my own family's for the love of alcohol. Its such a part of life there. I'm aiming for Day 2 today (allright, small beginnings), but can't even picture (so won't) how I'd manage a trip home to family and not just go back to pubs and bottles of wine. Best regards, |
Welcome, Watson! We're glad you're here. Anybody keeping a "stash" is lying... towards the end of my drinking "career", I bought a full bottle of Capt. Morgan 100 as well as a 10 pack of mini's. That way I wouldn't have to necessarily sneak into the kitchen any more and chance getting caught swigging from one of the various bottles in our (heavily depleted) liquor cabinet. All we had to to was go out with friends and have one or two, and then it would be ok to have it on my breath for the remainder of the evening. My breaking point in June came when after one of these get-togethers we came home and I really hit the sauce. I went in to ask hubby something and he asked, with a mixture of concern and puzzlement, "are you drunk?". I started to well up and said, "hubby, I think I have a problem"... he opened up his arms and hugged me for what felt like an hour. So- it's not that I ever lied to him or anyone directly, but I was drinking more than anyone knew. On a gig, I'd go inside to get another drink, but have the bartender give me a shot as well which I'd down at the bar before coming back out with my drink. The night I talked to my husband about it, I threw away 90% of that bottle, as well as all 10 mini's. He has never asked me about what I did, or how/if I sneaked drinks... so I have not had to lie to him either. If the question does come up, I'm not sure I can come up with an exact figure, but I will be honest about the fact that I was sneaking drinks at the house and while we were out. |
I lied about and hid my drinking. To have something that huge in my life.....and lie (deny) about it....is just amazing to me, now. Life has become so much simpler. |
Thanks for sharing everyone! To me, being honest about my boozing was a little shocking when the survey said I consumed more booze than 96% of the general adult American population. Holy smokes! It used to be a point of pride for me. A Marine buddy and I once figured up how much money we spent on booze one night while getting drunk. We figured at post exchange prices, over our 4 year enlistment, we would drink at least $7,280 worth of beer. We came up with that figure by assuming $5.00 for a 12 pack of Budwieser, 7 days per week, 52 weeks per year for 4 years. Add in the bar drinking on weekends and the occaisional blow outs, we likely spent closer to $10,000 over those 4 years. In actual cans and bottles of beer, that came out to 12 beers a day times 7 days a week wich is 84 beers, times 52 weeks per year, is 4,368 beers a year times 4 years equals 17,472 beers. America's finest indeed! LOL! Imagine how many drinks and dollars the heavy boozer adds up over a lifetime! |
I think I only lied to my doctor. But I did always try (yes try) to hide the empties. When asked how many of those are you going to drink, my response was always "all of em" Fred |
watsonc....:wavey: Welcome to SR and our Alcoholism Forum You will find a lot of information and support here I'm glad you shared and decided to join us. |
I think surveys are almost always flawed, because people don't often tell the truth on those things. I was a statistics major in college. I studied surveys and they are often skewed depending on how questions are asked, the conditions, the population, the response rate, etc. I have always heard people saying "a glass of wine or two" as a general expression, where they really mean more. Even non-alcoholics do it. A general tendency to downplay anything we know is not good for us. However, I am ashamed to say I did some lying. One time when my Mom came to visit (this was when I was in rather heavy drinking phase), I would try to be extra vigilent to make sure she did not think I had a drinking problem. So I tried, like her, to have only one glass of wine with dinner every night. One night I let myself slip and managed to drink almost a full bottle while she was here. When I saw that, I was horrified, so put some water in the bottle so she wouldn't think I drank so much. Now that I type this, this is really and truly sad. Thank goodness I don't have to worry about this anymore. |
I lied all the time about how much I drank always halved it, and I used too get breathilised after I lied so they basically knew I was lying so honesty is the best policy if you want help. |
Whether or not I lie about it depends on who is doing the asking. I learned years ago that if you don't lie to your doctor that she will immediately order liver tests and try to get you to go to rehab for professional detoxing. It was easier after that just to lie. Same with coworkers, cops and relatives. I don't lie to friends because they don't judge. |
I'm British but have lived in the US for most of my adult life and know that the stigma here in the workplace and with health insurance makes it almost mandatory to hide things from your doctor. Also true of mental health disorders - having a health insurance company tag you as an alcoholic seems to be fraught with danger. So much for the helping nature of the medical world! I've no doubt if annonymity could be had, many many more people would see non-judgmental help. Myself included. |
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