Step 7
 

Hi guys, just looking for some advice .....Humbly ask him to remove our shortcomings - I'm a year sober, gone through the programme and I still struggle with my ego and getting out of self (I'm a lot better than I used to be) but was there anything that helped you get out of self? I pray.....I try and practice it but I still have this awareness of it.

I'm so grateful to be where I am today and my life has literally turned around since I got sober which I never thought possible.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Peace.

Hey. Yes, those egos can easily run riot can't they.

This is one of the prayers I use each morning, as my own ego tends to be a little hyperactive as well. It helps me to remember what kind of stuff my ego latches on to and recognise it later in the day, and pause and pray about it rather than be a puppet to it. The desires are the ego bits, and the fears are, well, fears lol.

Humility Prayer.

God. I pray for your help in detaching from the desire of being:
admired,
loved,
praised,
favoured,
accepted,
consulted,
well known,
and honoured.

I pray for your help in detaching from the fear of being:
Criticised,
ridiculed,
humiliated,
falsely accused,
persecuted,
disbelieved,
despised,
and forgotten.

Please grant me the grace to desire that others may be :
Admired more than I,
praised when I am unnoticed,
chosen though I may be set aside,
preferred to me,
and increase in prominence though I remain hidden.

Although others will do what they want, I pray that you will use me for your will.
I pray that I will pause, and while I pause please help me to remember to pray for guidance and grant me the humility to find willingness and discard willfulness.
Lord, please open my eyes and ears and heart, and help me to recognise my ego and fear and not act on these.

AMEN.


Sorry if you've already seen this before.
Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery.

BB

but was there anything that helped you get out of self?

only 1 thing- practice. :)
still practicing it,too.


10th and 11 steps,too.

As often love what my Friends above contributed.

I was told early on, and still work to increase an understanding of, what the involvement of my ego means. It means obvious stuff like "thinking of myself first" i.e. "What do I want." There are less obvious things like intent and motive. Example: a parent works hard and creatively to give a kid he best birthday party ever...thinks it's for the child, his friends, the whole she bang. Is it really...or is it so the parent can feel liked best parent around, maybe congratulate themselves for being such an awesome?

My husband and I often use the term Flipping It. Example...turning the question of why is this happening to me? Into...what did I do to contribute to this happening?

I too use the 10 step inventory every morning- see pp 84-88 for this and elaboration on thoughts about me not being the center of the universe, criticism of others, etc. I use it to reflect on the prior day bc I feel like sleeping on it gives me a little more honest perspective answer.

Service to others is the other big one that gets me out of myself. Even small things like letting someone with fewer items than I have go ahead in the grocery line is service.

Definitely a daily work in progress!

you still have the awareness of it

that`s a natural thing,and some of it will always be there.There is no 100 % escape from it since we are human.Self used to rule over us now it just pops it`s ugly head up once and a while,more so in the early days of sobriety.

God uses us anyway to help others.We just supply that willingness. Keep
on praying and living 10-12. That is the growing part of our program
You are probably just where you should be,keep doing the right action

WOW all these suggestions are so right! Thanks guys & gals for these suggestions as each one hit a home run for me. :You_Rock_

don`t let a few occasional shortcomings stop you from staying sober and being all you can be in this life

BerryBean - thank you! I've never seen this before. I will definitely be adding this to my morning prayers.

Thank you TomSteve - Patience is another issue I have! :)

Thank you August - I guess this is just a process and will take time. I do look at myself a lot in situations that arise but I still feel a part of me still thinks....poor peace....!

Pages 84-88 thank you!

Peace

Thank you TommyH. I know things will take time for my thinking to change - I've had the same mind for a cough.....number of years so expecting them to change in a year is probably is too much to expect and put on myself. Self awareness eh! Damn it :)

Peace, another thought-

Progress is an imperfect system, so to speak. We learn and keep going- and get better at handling our character defects...and at times the same vexing behaviors pop up yet again! I was talking about y impatience or judgmentalness or probably bothe other day, and my friend said " oh August, I'm almost six years sober and I haven't solved those yet!" She reminded me about progress not perfection, you know?

I also feel like certain flaws pop up at different times depend g on life, situations, people, whatever...so that's what I focus on improving at that time. If I ever thought I could fix myself completely I would be sorely disappointed, and not grateful for what I have learned to be better at doing!

August thank you so much for this. I know that through time I'll learn more about myself and this journey I'm on. Like you say, things pop up and different emotions arise so I guess it's the awareness of it and how I handle those situations now. I'm so very grateful to even be able to identify this and it shows how much a year can change your thinking.

Peacein silence
I think being that you are aware of your ego is tremendous progress. Congrats on one year sober.
CaiHong

you WANT to be selfless- :You_Rock_

i still got issues with patience,too.
but the good thing is ONLY when i have to practice it. :)
which is typically when things dont go my way. :)

Peace! Yes!!! The change in thinking is the thing- when we can actually catch ourselves doing something different as a response, or. Realize we are thinking about it and wow, that's not how I would have thought....it's such progress.

I've found this thread so inspirational, I've almost been in tears.......do you know when you sometimes just read things a the right times. BB that is the most beautiful prayer.

PinS I struggle with ego daily and I think my addiction is the product of an untrained mind. I am hoping to train it through the steps, I would like to be free of the grand 'I'. When thinking about humility I realise that it's certainly lacking in me. A lack of self-esteem does not = humility, one if born of fear, the ego being threatened and the other is born of grace, from something greater than us.

I hope that makes sense to you.....I does to me :lmao

In Step 7, we ask our Higher Power to remove our defects. It doesn’t mean that they will be removed. Part of being humble is accepting myself to be flawed. Sometimes outrageously. Instead of seeking relief in the bottle, I seek it through my Higher Power by helping others.

And, as my Sponsor used to tell me, “you don’t get 5 years of sobriety until the earth goes around the sun 5 times”. I know for me, trying to be a decent human being took a lot of practice.

Peace- I just finished reading Eckhart Tolle's book "The Power of Now" and found it very helpful and enlightening. You can also watch his videos on youtube as well.

Congrats on 1 year of sobriety. That's awesome!
Day 114

This is a great point. It doesn't say that our defects will be removed NOW, nor in a way we get to choose (other than following th progam) not by anything else we might desire, have tried before, whatever. That patience thing again....I have found in just my two and a half years that I look back on certain times or phases and see what was happening, a defect being removed or mitigated, though I didn't think it was at the time. Daily repetition of my progam tools is my key.