Step 7
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 60
Step 7
Hi guys, just looking for some advice .....Humbly ask him to remove our shortcomings - I'm a year sober, gone through the programme and I still struggle with my ego and getting out of self (I'm a lot better than I used to be) but was there anything that helped you get out of self? I pray.....I try and practice it but I still have this awareness of it.
I'm so grateful to be where I am today and my life has literally turned around since I got sober which I never thought possible.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Peace.
I'm so grateful to be where I am today and my life has literally turned around since I got sober which I never thought possible.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Peace.
Hey. Yes, those egos can easily run riot can't they.
This is one of the prayers I use each morning, as my own ego tends to be a little hyperactive as well. It helps me to remember what kind of stuff my ego latches on to and recognise it later in the day, and pause and pray about it rather than be a puppet to it. The desires are the ego bits, and the fears are, well, fears lol.
Humility Prayer.
God. I pray for your help in detaching from the desire of being:
admired,
loved,
praised,
favoured,
accepted,
consulted,
well known,
and honoured.
I pray for your help in detaching from the fear of being:
Criticised,
ridiculed,
humiliated,
falsely accused,
persecuted,
disbelieved,
despised,
and forgotten.
Please grant me the grace to desire that others may be :
Admired more than I,
praised when I am unnoticed,
chosen though I may be set aside,
preferred to me,
and increase in prominence though I remain hidden.
Although others will do what they want, I pray that you will use me for your will.
I pray that I will pause, and while I pause please help me to remember to pray for guidance and grant me the humility to find willingness and discard willfulness.
Lord, please open my eyes and ears and heart, and help me to recognise my ego and fear and not act on these.
AMEN.
Sorry if you've already seen this before.
Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery.
BB
This is one of the prayers I use each morning, as my own ego tends to be a little hyperactive as well. It helps me to remember what kind of stuff my ego latches on to and recognise it later in the day, and pause and pray about it rather than be a puppet to it. The desires are the ego bits, and the fears are, well, fears lol.
Humility Prayer.
God. I pray for your help in detaching from the desire of being:
admired,
loved,
praised,
favoured,
accepted,
consulted,
well known,
and honoured.
I pray for your help in detaching from the fear of being:
Criticised,
ridiculed,
humiliated,
falsely accused,
persecuted,
disbelieved,
despised,
and forgotten.
Please grant me the grace to desire that others may be :
Admired more than I,
praised when I am unnoticed,
chosen though I may be set aside,
preferred to me,
and increase in prominence though I remain hidden.
Although others will do what they want, I pray that you will use me for your will.
I pray that I will pause, and while I pause please help me to remember to pray for guidance and grant me the humility to find willingness and discard willfulness.
Lord, please open my eyes and ears and heart, and help me to recognise my ego and fear and not act on these.
AMEN.
Sorry if you've already seen this before.
Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery.
BB
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
As often love what my Friends above contributed.
I was told early on, and still work to increase an understanding of, what the involvement of my ego means. It means obvious stuff like "thinking of myself first" i.e. "What do I want." There are less obvious things like intent and motive. Example: a parent works hard and creatively to give a kid he best birthday party ever...thinks it's for the child, his friends, the whole she bang. Is it really...or is it so the parent can feel liked best parent around, maybe congratulate themselves for being such an awesome?
My husband and I often use the term Flipping It. Example...turning the question of why is this happening to me? Into...what did I do to contribute to this happening?
I too use the 10 step inventory every morning- see pp 84-88 for this and elaboration on thoughts about me not being the center of the universe, criticism of others, etc. I use it to reflect on the prior day bc I feel like sleeping on it gives me a little more honest perspective answer.
Service to others is the other big one that gets me out of myself. Even small things like letting someone with fewer items than I have go ahead in the grocery line is service.
Definitely a daily work in progress!
I was told early on, and still work to increase an understanding of, what the involvement of my ego means. It means obvious stuff like "thinking of myself first" i.e. "What do I want." There are less obvious things like intent and motive. Example: a parent works hard and creatively to give a kid he best birthday party ever...thinks it's for the child, his friends, the whole she bang. Is it really...or is it so the parent can feel liked best parent around, maybe congratulate themselves for being such an awesome?
My husband and I often use the term Flipping It. Example...turning the question of why is this happening to me? Into...what did I do to contribute to this happening?
I too use the 10 step inventory every morning- see pp 84-88 for this and elaboration on thoughts about me not being the center of the universe, criticism of others, etc. I use it to reflect on the prior day bc I feel like sleeping on it gives me a little more honest perspective answer.
Service to others is the other big one that gets me out of myself. Even small things like letting someone with fewer items than I have go ahead in the grocery line is service.
Definitely a daily work in progress!
It`s ok to stay sober
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Central NC
Posts: 20,902
you still have the awareness of it
that`s a natural thing,and some of it will always be there.There is no 100 % escape from it since we are human.Self used to rule over us now it just pops it`s ugly head up once and a while,more so in the early days of sobriety.
God uses us anyway to help others.We just supply that willingness. Keep
on praying and living 10-12. That is the growing part of our program
You are probably just where you should be,keep doing the right action
that`s a natural thing,and some of it will always be there.There is no 100 % escape from it since we are human.Self used to rule over us now it just pops it`s ugly head up once and a while,more so in the early days of sobriety.
God uses us anyway to help others.We just supply that willingness. Keep
on praying and living 10-12. That is the growing part of our program
You are probably just where you should be,keep doing the right action
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 60
Hey. Yes, those egos can easily run riot can't they.
This is one of the prayers I use each morning, as my own ego tends to be a little hyperactive as well. It helps me to remember what kind of stuff my ego latches on to and recognise it later in the day, and pause and pray about it rather than be a puppet to it. The desires are the ego bits, and the fears are, well, fears lol.
Humility Prayer.
God. I pray for your help in detaching from the desire of being:
admired,
loved,
praised,
favoured,
accepted,
consulted,
well known,
and honoured.
I pray for your help in detaching from the fear of being:
Criticised,
ridiculed,
humiliated,
falsely accused,
persecuted,
disbelieved,
despised,
and forgotten.
Please grant me the grace to desire that others may be :
Admired more than I,
praised when I am unnoticed,
chosen though I may be set aside,
preferred to me,
and increase in prominence though I remain hidden.
Although others will do what they want, I pray that you will use me for your will.
I pray that I will pause, and while I pause please help me to remember to pray for guidance and grant me the humility to find willingness and discard willfulness.
Lord, please open my eyes and ears and heart, and help me to recognise my ego and fear and not act on these.
AMEN.
Sorry if you've already seen this before.
Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery.
BB
This is one of the prayers I use each morning, as my own ego tends to be a little hyperactive as well. It helps me to remember what kind of stuff my ego latches on to and recognise it later in the day, and pause and pray about it rather than be a puppet to it. The desires are the ego bits, and the fears are, well, fears lol.
Humility Prayer.
God. I pray for your help in detaching from the desire of being:
admired,
loved,
praised,
favoured,
accepted,
consulted,
well known,
and honoured.
I pray for your help in detaching from the fear of being:
Criticised,
ridiculed,
humiliated,
falsely accused,
persecuted,
disbelieved,
despised,
and forgotten.
Please grant me the grace to desire that others may be :
Admired more than I,
praised when I am unnoticed,
chosen though I may be set aside,
preferred to me,
and increase in prominence though I remain hidden.
Although others will do what they want, I pray that you will use me for your will.
I pray that I will pause, and while I pause please help me to remember to pray for guidance and grant me the humility to find willingness and discard willfulness.
Lord, please open my eyes and ears and heart, and help me to recognise my ego and fear and not act on these.
AMEN.
Sorry if you've already seen this before.
Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery.
BB
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 60
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 60
As often love what my Friends above contributed.
I was told early on, and still work to increase an understanding of, what the involvement of my ego means. It means obvious stuff like "thinking of myself first" i.e. "What do I want." There are less obvious things like intent and motive. Example: a parent works hard and creatively to give a kid he best birthday party ever...thinks it's for the child, his friends, the whole she bang. Is it really...or is it so the parent can feel liked best parent around, maybe congratulate themselves for being such an awesome?
My husband and I often use the term Flipping It. Example...turning the question of why is this happening to me? Into...what did I do to contribute to this happening?
I too use the 10 step inventory every morning- see pp 84-88 for this and elaboration on thoughts about me not being the center of the universe, criticism of others, etc. I use it to reflect on the prior day bc I feel like sleeping on it gives me a little more honest perspective answer.
Service to others is the other big one that gets me out of myself. Even small things like letting someone with fewer items than I have go ahead in the grocery line is service.
Definitely a daily work in progress!
I was told early on, and still work to increase an understanding of, what the involvement of my ego means. It means obvious stuff like "thinking of myself first" i.e. "What do I want." There are less obvious things like intent and motive. Example: a parent works hard and creatively to give a kid he best birthday party ever...thinks it's for the child, his friends, the whole she bang. Is it really...or is it so the parent can feel liked best parent around, maybe congratulate themselves for being such an awesome?
My husband and I often use the term Flipping It. Example...turning the question of why is this happening to me? Into...what did I do to contribute to this happening?
I too use the 10 step inventory every morning- see pp 84-88 for this and elaboration on thoughts about me not being the center of the universe, criticism of others, etc. I use it to reflect on the prior day bc I feel like sleeping on it gives me a little more honest perspective answer.
Service to others is the other big one that gets me out of myself. Even small things like letting someone with fewer items than I have go ahead in the grocery line is service.
Definitely a daily work in progress!
Pages 84-88 thank you!
Peace
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 60
you still have the awareness of it
that`s a natural thing,and some of it will always be there.There is no 100 % escape from it since we are human.Self used to rule over us now it just pops it`s ugly head up once and a while,more so in the early days of sobriety.
God uses us anyway to help others.We just supply that willingness. Keep
on praying and living 10-12. That is the growing part of our program
You are probably just where you should be,keep doing the right action
that`s a natural thing,and some of it will always be there.There is no 100 % escape from it since we are human.Self used to rule over us now it just pops it`s ugly head up once and a while,more so in the early days of sobriety.
God uses us anyway to help others.We just supply that willingness. Keep
on praying and living 10-12. That is the growing part of our program
You are probably just where you should be,keep doing the right action
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Peace, another thought-
Progress is an imperfect system, so to speak. We learn and keep going- and get better at handling our character defects...and at times the same vexing behaviors pop up yet again! I was talking about y impatience or judgmentalness or probably bothe other day, and my friend said " oh August, I'm almost six years sober and I haven't solved those yet!" She reminded me about progress not perfection, you know?
I also feel like certain flaws pop up at different times depend g on life, situations, people, whatever...so that's what I focus on improving at that time. If I ever thought I could fix myself completely I would be sorely disappointed, and not grateful for what I have learned to be better at doing!
Progress is an imperfect system, so to speak. We learn and keep going- and get better at handling our character defects...and at times the same vexing behaviors pop up yet again! I was talking about y impatience or judgmentalness or probably bothe other day, and my friend said " oh August, I'm almost six years sober and I haven't solved those yet!" She reminded me about progress not perfection, you know?
I also feel like certain flaws pop up at different times depend g on life, situations, people, whatever...so that's what I focus on improving at that time. If I ever thought I could fix myself completely I would be sorely disappointed, and not grateful for what I have learned to be better at doing!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 60
Peace, another thought-
Progress is an imperfect system, so to speak. We learn and keep going- and get better at handling our character defects...and at times the same vexing behaviors pop up yet again! I was talking about y impatience or judgmentalness or probably bothe other day, and my friend said " oh August, I'm almost six years sober and I haven't solved those yet!" She reminded me about progress not perfection, you know?
I also feel like certain flaws pop up at different times depend g on life, situations, people, whatever...so that's what I focus on improving at that time. If I ever thought I could fix myself completely I would be sorely disappointed, and not grateful for what I have learned to be better at doing!
Progress is an imperfect system, so to speak. We learn and keep going- and get better at handling our character defects...and at times the same vexing behaviors pop up yet again! I was talking about y impatience or judgmentalness or probably bothe other day, and my friend said " oh August, I'm almost six years sober and I haven't solved those yet!" She reminded me about progress not perfection, you know?
I also feel like certain flaws pop up at different times depend g on life, situations, people, whatever...so that's what I focus on improving at that time. If I ever thought I could fix myself completely I would be sorely disappointed, and not grateful for what I have learned to be better at doing!
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Peace! Yes!!! The change in thinking is the thing- when we can actually catch ourselves doing something different as a response, or. Realize we are thinking about it and wow, that's not how I would have thought....it's such progress.
I've found this thread so inspirational, I've almost been in tears.......do you know when you sometimes just read things a the right times. BB that is the most beautiful prayer.
PinS I struggle with ego daily and I think my addiction is the product of an untrained mind. I am hoping to train it through the steps, I would like to be free of the grand 'I'. When thinking about humility I realise that it's certainly lacking in me. A lack of self-esteem does not = humility, one if born of fear, the ego being threatened and the other is born of grace, from something greater than us.
I hope that makes sense to you.....I does to me
PinS I struggle with ego daily and I think my addiction is the product of an untrained mind. I am hoping to train it through the steps, I would like to be free of the grand 'I'. When thinking about humility I realise that it's certainly lacking in me. A lack of self-esteem does not = humility, one if born of fear, the ego being threatened and the other is born of grace, from something greater than us.
I hope that makes sense to you.....I does to me
In Step 7, we ask our Higher Power to remove our defects. It doesn’t mean that they will be removed. Part of being humble is accepting myself to be flawed. Sometimes outrageously. Instead of seeking relief in the bottle, I seek it through my Higher Power by helping others.
And, as my Sponsor used to tell me, “you don’t get 5 years of sobriety until the earth goes around the sun 5 times”. I know for me, trying to be a decent human being took a lot of practice.
And, as my Sponsor used to tell me, “you don’t get 5 years of sobriety until the earth goes around the sun 5 times”. I know for me, trying to be a decent human being took a lot of practice.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 244
Peace- I just finished reading Eckhart Tolle's book "The Power of Now" and found it very helpful and enlightening. You can also watch his videos on youtube as well.
Congrats on 1 year of sobriety. That's awesome!
Day 114
Congrats on 1 year of sobriety. That's awesome!
Day 114
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
In Step 7, we ask our Higher Power to remove our defects. It doesn’t mean that they will be removed. Part of being humble is accepting myself to be flawed. Sometimes outrageously. Instead of seeking relief in the bottle, I seek it through my Higher Power by helping others.
And, as my Sponsor used to tell me, “you don’t get 5 years of sobriety until the earth goes around the sun 5 times”. I know for me, trying to be a decent human being took a lot of practice.
And, as my Sponsor used to tell me, “you don’t get 5 years of sobriety until the earth goes around the sun 5 times”. I know for me, trying to be a decent human being took a lot of practice.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)