I was sent to rehab to keep me out of jail. Did a half way house after that and on my first weekend pass I hitch hiked to a bar, then eventually home. Did that for three months until they caught on and gave me the boot. Tried controlled drinking for a few more months until I finally surrendered.

Ended up going back to the first rehab as an outpatient for my first six months clean and been that way ever since.

Signed myself into rehab/inpatient in my early 20's for what had progressed into complete anhedonia, alcohol dependance and suicidal ideation.

I had been searching for specific drugs I read about on-line that could maybe cure depression also and I was beginning to experiment with those.


It was a strange time. I was well fed, I put on a few stone as I was 8 stone something going in (I'm like 6ft). I was high after the detox in retrospect.

High on life, the proverbial pink cloud or whatever its called. It was a confusing old time for me. I got assaulted and robbed by a patient there also.


Anyway I was on a pretty good even keel for a while afterwards. I still mostly isolated myself but I was meditating and reading a lot and not drinking.

It's pretty much been a downhill slide all the way as far as gaining any real peace and stability in my life though, I barely scratched the surface then.

The only experience I have is a long term rehab I attend meetings at.
They do have members come back that have remained sober.
The residents there have exhausted their options by the time they get there.

AA meetings is it?