Codependent Alcoholic Adult Child of Alcoholic Parents
 

What sort of meeting should a codependent alcoholic adult child of alcoholic parents go to? Codependency being a huge problem.

To clarify, I mean Al-Anon or CoDA?
I don't think there are many CoDA options around here but there are some Al-Anon meetings for adult children.

May be I already know the answer.

I know I'm codependent and it's effecting my life in negative ways.
I have not clue what the next step is. None.

I am here, listening.

Paperdolls, I am a ACOA and a codie and I have to say I get way more out of CODA meetings.....

Paperdolls, I know we talk a lot about Melody Beattie around here ...she is an addict and codependent and has wriiten a ton a books around codependent recovery...but her book.."Co-dependent No More" is a really good book and a place you might want to start....

Thanks for the replies.

I went to an Al-Anon meeting last night. I hadn't been to one for probably 5 years, that was my first and last. I didn't believe a word they told me then. My mom was still actively drinking and I just couldn't do what they suggested.

Last nights was good. I didn't talk, only listened. I'll give it a few meetings and see how it works out.

I used to have "Codependent No More". I tried reading it but I didn't give it a chance. A long time ago here on SR someone came up with a book exchange thingie and I sent it to someone. I can't remember who. I think they we're going to pass it on to someone else. I wrote a note in the cover to whomever I sent it to. I'd like to check out Hope For Today. I might go to the bookstore tonight and check it out, see how much it is. May be I'll even buy it!

Sat. morning there's an ACOA meeting I'll check out. I've not been able to find much in the way of CoDA or ACOA meetings around here. I'm surprised by that but I'll ask at the meetings I go to.

I feel weird about being at an Al-Anon meeting because I just think of that as Spouses and Parents. I know that's not the case, that's just what my brain tells me. Plus, I'm not trying to deal with the effects of alcohol on me, per se, but trying to fix/change my codependency issues. I suppose it's all the same. I know it's all related and stuff.

I went last night and bought Codependent No More. I was wrong about having that book, it was a different one that I had and gave to someone here.

Anyway, I've not read a ton of it but I like it so far. I'm hoping C will like it too.

Ditto and agreed!!

I know this doesn't help...but I relate to everything you said...especially the alanon stuff...I like the program...and I like 12 step work...but...as yet...I am always the only adult child present at the meetings...I hope I can find a coda meeting...never been to one. I have been to open aa meets, alanon and adult child meetings...I too have trouble finding acoa meetings...I moved to a more urban setting...and still the nearest acoa is an hour away from where I live.

Growing, that does help! It's always nice to know you're not alone. :)

I know the 12-steps. Have never "worked" them. I'm resisting but that doesn't mean I won't go to meetings. It all makes sense .... the steps but I chalk it up to me being a lazy. I'm not kidding. The steps are a lot of work. And then you have to feel stuff....deal with it. I like to sweep all that stuff under the rug. It's just what I do. May be after more and more meetings I'll get over myself!

Reading Codependent No More is going to help tremendously, I know it.

I've been going to CoDA meetings for over a year but haven't started my Steps in that program yet, with the exception of doing a 4th Step on relationships that my therapist suggested. Still, it's wonderful going to meetings if only to listen and share. Definitely opens me up a lot more than my AA meetings ever do.

It's hard to find meetings likd CODA everywhere. I did go to them in NY, but, they are simply no where around me now. I attend alanon. The lessons are quite similar, but the sharing is different.

Yes but how we deliver it is different.
I can tell my son...Your grounded.
I can't say that to a parent *LOL*

With others I can remove myself from where they are or if I am the parent, I can have others removed from where I am.
Same boundary but used differently with each case.

*daydreams*

Oh wouldn't that be wonderful!?

CoDA Online Meetings
 

This might be helpful. I just tried doing an internet search on CoDA meetings, and I found several web sites that you might find interesting (but I can't post the links here, since I'm a noobie).

I love the idea of attending online meetings, for those times when I just can't get up off the couch!

There a several web sites that appear to hold CoDA meetings you might look into. I used the search "online CoDA meetings". Voila!

Hope this helps. I need the same thing!