Codependent Alcoholic Adult Child of Alcoholic Parents

Old 03-11-2008, 12:29 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Its_me_jen
Thread Starter
 
PaperDolls's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
Codependent Alcoholic Adult Child of Alcoholic Parents

What sort of meeting should a codependent alcoholic adult child of alcoholic parents go to? Codependency being a huge problem.
PaperDolls is offline  
Old 03-11-2008, 12:54 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Its_me_jen
Thread Starter
 
PaperDolls's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
To clarify, I mean Al-Anon or CoDA?
I don't think there are many CoDA options around here but there are some Al-Anon meetings for adult children.

May be I already know the answer.

Last edited by PaperDolls; 03-11-2008 at 01:22 PM.
PaperDolls is offline  
Old 03-11-2008, 01:23 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Its_me_jen
Thread Starter
 
PaperDolls's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
I know I'm codependent and it's effecting my life in negative ways.
I have not clue what the next step is. None.
PaperDolls is offline  
Old 03-11-2008, 03:30 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
I am here, listening.
Live is offline  
Old 03-11-2008, 03:36 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Leap of Faith Survivor
 
grateful2b's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 4,555
Paperdolls, I am a ACOA and a codie and I have to say I get way more out of CODA meetings.....
grateful2b is offline  
Old 03-11-2008, 03:40 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Leap of Faith Survivor
 
grateful2b's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 4,555
Paperdolls, I know we talk a lot about Melody Beattie around here ...she is an addict and codependent and has wriiten a ton a books around codependent recovery...but her book.."Co-dependent No More" is a really good book and a place you might want to start....
grateful2b is offline  
Old 03-12-2008, 11:19 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Its_me_jen
Thread Starter
 
PaperDolls's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
Thanks for the replies.

I went to an Al-Anon meeting last night. I hadn't been to one for probably 5 years, that was my first and last. I didn't believe a word they told me then. My mom was still actively drinking and I just couldn't do what they suggested.

Last nights was good. I didn't talk, only listened. I'll give it a few meetings and see how it works out.

I used to have "Codependent No More". I tried reading it but I didn't give it a chance. A long time ago here on SR someone came up with a book exchange thingie and I sent it to someone. I can't remember who. I think they we're going to pass it on to someone else. I wrote a note in the cover to whomever I sent it to. I'd like to check out Hope For Today. I might go to the bookstore tonight and check it out, see how much it is. May be I'll even buy it!

Sat. morning there's an ACOA meeting I'll check out. I've not been able to find much in the way of CoDA or ACOA meetings around here. I'm surprised by that but I'll ask at the meetings I go to.

I feel weird about being at an Al-Anon meeting because I just think of that as Spouses and Parents. I know that's not the case, that's just what my brain tells me. Plus, I'm not trying to deal with the effects of alcohol on me, per se, but trying to fix/change my codependency issues. I suppose it's all the same. I know it's all related and stuff.
PaperDolls is offline  
Old 03-13-2008, 09:51 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Its_me_jen
Thread Starter
 
PaperDolls's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
I went last night and bought Codependent No More. I was wrong about having that book, it was a different one that I had and gave to someone here.

Anyway, I've not read a ton of it but I like it so far. I'm hoping C will like it too.
PaperDolls is offline  
Old 03-13-2008, 10:32 AM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Forum Leader
 
Astro's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 22,950
Originally Posted by grateful2b View Post
Paperdolls, I am a ACOA and a codie and I have to say I get way more out of CODA meetings.....
Ditto and agreed!!
Astro is offline  
Old 03-13-2008, 01:21 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Progress Not Perfection
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: "Further up and further in!"---C.S. Lewis
Posts: 563
Originally Posted by PaperDolls View Post
Thanks for the replies.

I went to an Al-Anon meeting last night. I hadn't been to one for probably 5 years, that was my first and last. I didn't believe a word they told me then. My mom was still actively drinking and I just couldn't do what they suggested.

Last nights was good. I didn't talk, only listened. I'll give it a few meetings and see how it works out.

I used to have "Codependent No More". I tried reading it but I didn't give it a chance. A long time ago here on SR someone came up with a book exchange thingie and I sent it to someone. I can't remember who. I think they we're going to pass it on to someone else. I wrote a note in the cover to whomever I sent it to. I'd like to check out Hope For Today. I might go to the bookstore tonight and check it out, see how much it is. May be I'll even buy it!

Sat. morning there's an ACOA meeting I'll check out. I've not been able to find much in the way of CoDA or ACOA meetings around here. I'm surprised by that but I'll ask at the meetings I go to.

I feel weird about being at an Al-Anon meeting because I just think of that as Spouses and Parents. I know that's not the case, that's just what my brain tells me. Plus, I'm not trying to deal with the effects of alcohol on me, per se, but trying to fix/change my codependency issues. I suppose it's all the same. I know it's all related and stuff.

I know this doesn't help...but I relate to everything you said...especially the alanon stuff...I like the program...and I like 12 step work...but...as yet...I am always the only adult child present at the meetings...I hope I can find a coda meeting...never been to one. I have been to open aa meets, alanon and adult child meetings...I too have trouble finding acoa meetings...I moved to a more urban setting...and still the nearest acoa is an hour away from where I live.
Growing is offline  
Old 03-14-2008, 11:12 AM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Its_me_jen
Thread Starter
 
PaperDolls's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
Growing, that does help! It's always nice to know you're not alone.

I know the 12-steps. Have never "worked" them. I'm resisting but that doesn't mean I won't go to meetings. It all makes sense .... the steps but I chalk it up to me being a lazy. I'm not kidding. The steps are a lot of work. And then you have to feel stuff....deal with it. I like to sweep all that stuff under the rug. It's just what I do. May be after more and more meetings I'll get over myself!

Reading Codependent No More is going to help tremendously, I know it.
PaperDolls is offline  
Old 03-14-2008, 11:32 AM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Forum Leader
 
Astro's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 22,950
I've been going to CoDA meetings for over a year but haven't started my Steps in that program yet, with the exception of doing a 4th Step on relationships that my therapist suggested. Still, it's wonderful going to meetings if only to listen and share. Definitely opens me up a lot more than my AA meetings ever do.
Astro is offline  
Old 03-14-2008, 05:52 PM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Power is not having to respond
 
Wascally Wabbit's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Wabbit Hole
Posts: 1,923
It's hard to find meetings likd CODA everywhere. I did go to them in NY, but, they are simply no where around me now. I attend alanon. The lessons are quite similar, but the sharing is different.
Wascally Wabbit is offline  
Old 03-14-2008, 06:39 PM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Don't get undies in a bunch
 
best's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
Originally Posted by PaperDolls View Post
I suppose it's all the same. I know it's all related and stuff.
Yes but how we deliver it is different.
I can tell my son...Your grounded.
I can't say that to a parent *LOL*

With others I can remove myself from where they are or if I am the parent, I can have others removed from where I am.
Same boundary but used differently with each case.
best is offline  
Old 03-15-2008, 07:10 AM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Member
 
GingerM's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Under the Rainbow
Posts: 1,086
I can tell my son...Your grounded.
I can't say that to a parent *LOL*
*daydreams*

Oh wouldn't that be wonderful!?
GingerM is offline  
Old 03-15-2008, 05:32 PM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Member
 
Grace2u's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 38
CoDA Online Meetings

This might be helpful. I just tried doing an internet search on CoDA meetings, and I found several web sites that you might find interesting (but I can't post the links here, since I'm a noobie).

I love the idea of attending online meetings, for those times when I just can't get up off the couch!

There a several web sites that appear to hold CoDA meetings you might look into. I used the search "online CoDA meetings". Voila!

Hope this helps. I need the same thing!
Grace2u is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:38 PM.