PapaG

I wrote this yesterday to another guy with a similar tale (bless him) but feel it would be worth sharing as an experience with y'all...

I have just this last week stopped drinking again..I have a long long history of anxiety and depression and of course...the drink makes it better on the morning of the hangover,,but makes it soooo much worse in the long. I just last week got back from the Sonica festival in Italy. I spent the whole time drunk, I can't remember much of the fest..I missed my plane back (which was not drink related but had the train not been delayed? who knows..I doubt I'd have made it as I could hardly move to find the departure desk at the airport due to the alcohol), was stuck in the airport with no money and no ticket..I went through 24 hours of absolute hell, my antidepressants were'nt helping because I'd consumed so much drink over the previous 5 days, the anxiety and panic were worse than ever..people were looking at me like I was nuts because i couldn't walk from point to point across the airport due to Agoraphobia..i just kept stopping and shaking and pulling at my clothes..buckets of sweat dripping off..went to first aid for six hours cos of de-hydration, they put me on a drip. I did get home in the end but I literally had to beg people to help me get in touch with my Girlfriend..I had to BEG for money even though i was spending a little on booze each time...so, on arriving back (having consumed a lot of free wine on the plane) I decided that was it...enough is enough and i stopped drinking a week ago..

Bizarrely, I was at the same festival last year and thats where it all went wrong. At that time I had not had a drink in 4 and a half years..through therapy, reading and a course of antidepressants, I was in a blissfully abstinent state, had taught English, met my girlfriend here in Austria ..had a kid ..a bueatiful boy together ..everything was really good...then i made the error. I smoked some grass..got extremely paranoid and guess what? I went for a few beers to calm down. It worked but I couldn't stop drinking on waking up each morning at the fest. I started smoking cigarettes again after years of not doing so and basically spent the whole of the last year on and off the drink. I am back to my old self now..the real me, but the fact is...I MUST NOT DRINK and my aim is to return to the way I was..a good state of being. Lucky I still have my little family. Very lucky. I think you can relate to that!