thanx for lisitening
I hear what ya saying..And I know what your saying is true..But its so hard for me to get into things...And I know you probably like how can you say that when i live in NYC..where theres like a zillion things i could do and for free yet..Its just i got no urge to do it..I think its the methadone im on..it just gives me this calm lazy feeling like i dont gotta do nuthing..Since im 14 ive been chasing drugs..and since now im on meth its like im high everyday so i dont gotta do nuthing...Im come off of it and slowely im getting more energy..but with the energy is coming back old feelings and urges to go use..Im going through alot at home with my dad..hes drinking alot and hes a real mean drunk..he never use to be but i think hes going through a mid-life crisis...But i dont wish or need to deal with it..im trying to figure a way i can move out..But the rent is sooo expensive here...I have no friends cause all my friends either use or they remind me of when i used,, and its hard to find new friends especially at my age(22yrs old) and being in nyc everybody already got their lives together..unless their active users or into sumthing else negative...then they be the ones that got time to be friends.... so i cant get a roommate..I do have a bf but rite now hes in detox for xanax I havent talkin to him in like 3 days..Cause he was just getting so jealous over nuthing if i didnt call him at the exact moment i sed i would he thinks im out getting high or cheating on him..so we both feel for him to get better and focus on himself while hes their we wont talk with eachother..But he was the only one i've been talking to for this past year so ive been real stressed and lonely...But im trying to get through at least i waste time at my program...Thank God they got 3 groups there a day..without those groups id probably be going outta my mind...But im trying..i've applied to a few places and hoping they'll call me back..it be great to get a job especially since for a year i havent had any money...But ive been afraid of what could happen with a weekly paycheck..but i cant live in a cubby hole for the rest of my life im young i must go on with my life...Im glad to here you found sumthing that works for you..I hope this week you will stick to your plan and nuthing negative will happen to u...Im here always for a chat..goodluck..Jackie