To me this is a bribe, not a boundary, plus it is too broad in nature, too subject to interpretation by him.
A boundary might be something like this (this is an example only):
"When you come home drunk, I will not engage in any sort of discussion with you" or "If you start destroying this house and I feel threatened, I will call the police to have you arrested".
Both of these examples are clear. He does x,y & z and you will do a,b & c. Boundaries should be made unemotionally and calmly. The key is following through with them, so do not make a boundary you will not enforce.
Hmmm, how do you let go ..... I guess the first step is to realize that you are powerless over his drinking (which includes his behavior and his words). You cannot control, cajole, humor or do things to make his behavior change while drinking. So I guess you need to step back and let it roll off your back.
I'm sure you are a wonderful person just the way you are, the way you dress, the way you talk and the way you behave. Try to see and believe in all the good in you. That will be a good first baby step to getting where you need to be.
LNF, this will get worse before it gets better, much worse!