Did I do the right thing?
I'm still very new here...trying to understand the concepts of detachment and setting boundaries.
AH and I had a "discussion" last night about our situation. Monday nights are usually one of the only nights he is sober, because he works until 9:00, then comes home after only " a couple beers" and goes straight to bed. After I came to bed... he asked me what my plans were for the week. I told him I had no plans other than attending the Al Anon meeting on Wed. One thing led to another and he started telling me everything I do wrong. I told him I know I have my own issues and I'm am trying to work on those. I don't pay enough attention to him..... I put everyone else above him.... I don't talk to him..... We don't do anything.....I don't like him.... I wear baggy pants to work and don't show what a beautiful woman I am..... If I don't listen to what he's telling me he will throw the bedroom TV through the window.
I told him again.... I don't like to be around him when he is drinking. He is not a nice person when he drinks (sometimes when he's sober, but that's rare) I don't like the person he becomes when he drinks. Yes I have my own issues, and I am trying to identify them and work on them. I can't fix his issues.
His answer then is "You should just leave then" I say...I'm not leaving, this is my home. He says he is not leaving...it's HIS home, and he will tear it apart board by board if he wants. I say... this is MY home too...him No it's not.
He went to sleep on the couch. I told him I can't deal with his temper tantrums and destructive behavior, yelling and screaming at me.
Good grief! I don't know what to do from here. I'm still hanging on to some small thread of hope that our marriage will be saved, but there has been a lot of damage done. I think he would be happy if I just went back to acting as if there were no problems and let him treat me however he wants.
So....we didn't talk this morning. I did leave him a note telling him that after he gets home from golf tonight....IF he does not drink...AT ALL...we can do something together tonight....go out to eat...go for a walk...watch a movie or whatever he wants. Was this the wrong thing to do? I don't know, but I tried to set a boundary for me and give him what he says he wants, which is my attention.