(jeff), I'm sorry you lost your job. I'm just as sorry you wish you could kick yourself in the butt. Where has that ever got you?
Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move on. Learn the lesson, feel the sorrow, and let it go. Program people will help you, some of us have been there. You did what you thought was right at the time with the knowledge and information you had. Now do what you know is right now with the knowledge and information you have. Recovery is a journey, not a destination.
I've been sober over 17 1/2 years. Remember, I'm pulling for you. We're all in this together.