I kinda look at it a different way.
In the past I would get SO angry, I would scream, cuss, lecture, and in those situations my actions/words will esculate and I will become out of control. It would usually end up that the person I was angry with would leave, which made me even more angry.... I usually would have said things in the meanest possible way or I would say things to hurt the other person as much as I was hurting.
After I calmed down I would have an "emotional hangover" sometimes lasting for days, The things that come out of my mouth can not be taken back so not only would I feel guilty, but I would have to make amends. I would have to walk on egg shells for the next week because my/their feelings were damaged and it would take along time for the other person to "trust" that I was not going to hurt them.
Today I do not react. Its not that I dont feel the same at times, or want to say the hurtful things... and when I do I call my sponsor and rant and rave to her. Its not that Im not being isolated from that person, its that Im showing my love and respect by not reacting.... waiting till Im calmer and can discuss what the issue is with respect. This also releaves me of all the guilt, emotional hangovers, eggshell walking, amends and just the plane old crummy feelings I have for loosing it.
Does that make sense?