http://www.lundybancroft.com/pages/wdhdtpage.html http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_abuse
Feeling guilty for someone elses actions is a sign of our codependence. The best thing I could have done when in a similar situation was to read alot, gain some self-esteem, and know that I was deserving of respect, value, and did not HAVE to live that way.
Hope those links give a little info to look at until the shelves are full again at the library.