equus

I feel strange reading that because you more than anyone knows the number of changes I've failed to make and plans that have had no outcomes. This is the long way round, the work I've got to put in to get the voice because I still want that voice. These last two years have been such a remarkable learning experience for me - knowing what it felt like to deal with issues those I've worked to try and help deal with. I took on the job of working on D's behalf through the NHS complaints process and didn't even get as far as a 'formal' complaint, because I got scared, because the little we had to lose was too much and because it seemed as though there was no chance of gain. I learned it is possible to ask for a reference to stats and be told that was out of order, to try and appeal to the person, get nowhere and then recieve a letter saying no further services would be offered by that voluntary organisation and that they were autonymous with no recourse outside their own management.

I believe the feelings that came from those events weren't about the details of one situation. I think they were about fear, confusion, frustration and then acceptance that their was no-one who would help or listen. Since that time I've understood very differently what people say about 'services' and it blows my mind how similar child is to child, across miles, time and differing situations AND how similar that is to what adults say in radically different situations. The common denominators I can identify is being overwhelmed, not having the resources available to make life safe, and not being heard.

On a good day I tell myself I've looked closely at it and this long way round is the self disciplined approach that opens the doors I can't open yet (see OP). On a bad day I ask myself if this is just another plan that will end up with no outcome. I hope I can be the person I want to be this time.