Hi, Im Sharon and Im an Alcoholic.
Thanks benhikin for sharing how u r feeling today.
Sharing like that allows others to know that ey are not alone in the same exact feelings too.
I to "hate" things. "Hate" the way I feel. "Hate" the fact I left my support group back in Baton Rouge 10 yrs ago to move here to Houston. I "hate" that I am saying the word "HATE".
But it is a word. Maybe..... don't like something sounds softer. But we all know exactly how we feel.
ACCEPTANCE OF PEOPLE PLACES AND THINGS AS THEY ARE EXACTLY HOW THEY ARE SUPPOSE TO BE. SUCKS BIG TIME. RIGHT?
The "Average Joe"....na....Just SPECIAL. We are SPECIAL people chosen to live a Special way of life. CHOSEN TO CARRY THE MESSAGE OF, EXPERIENCE, STRENGTH AND HOPE TO THE NEXT ALCOHOLIC OR DRUG ADDICT.
I have been in a funk myself for the past week. I don't know what is wrong with me. You'd think at 15 yrs sober Id be jumping up and down living happy joyous and free.
I guess we cant all live on a "pink cloud" all the time.
I was sharing here for awhile, then all of a sudden i quit. Whats up with that? I asked myself. Then I came today and just picked out ur share, read it and decide to share my own ESH here. You know what? I feel a tad better.
But that still doesnt erase the fact i still feel low keyed, no friends just alone.
Im about to meet up with my family at a resturant to celebrate my sons 22 yr birthday. I am hungry so im looking forward to that. The family is fine. No one has a problem with alcohol or drugs like me. For that i am truely grateful.
But to be sitting there with my loving family not feeling TOTALLY CONNECTED to them because i am an Alcoholic makes me feel like an "outcast." That is the perception i have of myself. Sad to say.
Anyway.....I know today what my purpose in life is and that is to help others in recovery. I mean i dont have to do this, i choose to. Mainly because if i drink i will GET DRUNK, GO CRAZY OR DIE.
Ive been there done all that before without success. So my Higher Power is guiding me to do His Will today and not mine.
Today for me......THIS TOO SHALL PASS.
I have flames that burn today, but they are from scented oil candles that smell AWESOME. Try them they r GREAT.
Thanks for letting me share.