Rainy

To all who responded,

Thank you so much for your kind words, shares and encouragement. I understand that although what I say may be said out of love and care for him, he may see it differently. JG, what you said about us not having any idea what it’s like to be an addict, and them having no idea what it’s like to live with one, made perfect sense. After reading all of your replies, my initial feeling was, “oh, I need to apologize to him for what I said!” But I know I don’t need to apologize, only if I had said it with malicious intent.
I still feel sad and depressed today but not as bad as yesterday, so that is a good sign. Life is hard, I’m finding that I have a lot of moments that I want it all to just go away for good. What really gets to me the most is I watch him show so much compassion and love for the other addicts when they are struggling or needing to share, and yet I get this feeling from him that I am supposed to be miraculously cured overnight and never have any complaints, thoughts, feelings, other than sheer joy for him. He seems to forget that I am out in the real world struggling to keep ‘us’ going each day while he is there. I get jealous when I see him treat others with so much respect and kindness when they are hurting, but can’t do it for me. I suppose this is normal too, in fact I read the other day that the addict when he/she first enters a recovery program, often becomes very egotistical and domineering, but usually that phase is short lived. Does anyone have any insight to this?