I just feel that this is something that has been bothering you for a while and you seem as though that this is something that is causing a "hang up" for you. Maybe you could get on with your recovery if you just told the person that you are "working on you" but you do realize that you hurt him and you are very sorry and when you get to a good place then maybe you can work on your friendship again. I just feel as though this is a blockade for you in your journey to recovery and that you would feel better if you got this off of your chest.
GP